Letters To Auden

Dear Auden,

I remember the day of your funeral. Everyone was in black. You would've hated that. So I wore green. Your favorite colour. You once said that green was your favorite because that was the colour of my eyes when I was happy, or laughing. I miss those moments.

Everyone there was giving me hugs. They all knew how close we were.

When I did my speech, I said how you always seem to have the corniest, sappiest love lines tucked up your sleeve. I talked about how when you were happy, those grey eyes turned blue, like the sky clearing after rain. I talked about our tattoos and our grass angels, our kiss when we were eight and Boulder Cliff. You will always be my prince.

But what I remeber most about that day, was your tombstone. Do you know what it said?

'Auden James O'Kinsley
08.04.1988 ~ 10.08.2006
Beloved brother, son, boyfriend and soon-to-be father.

I was pregnant. Six months to be exact. That fateful tuesday morning, I was going to tell you.

But now, our child will live without you, their father. But don't worry Denny, you don't have to worry, I'll tell them all about you. It'll be as if you had never left.