Social Suicide

A month later, summer was approaching fast. The school was still improving, in fact it felt like it had been like all along. Finals were coming soon and pressure was added everyday, Austin however had been Mia’s rock throughout every week. Mia had felt depressed slightly, forever thinking about Nadia who had finally been released, but she wasn’t allowed to come back to school yet. Lilly and Nadia’s friendship had simmered, due to Nadia refusing to pick up calls and even house visits had been banned.

Throughout this whole revolution, Lilly had changed dramatically. She had tamed, Jake and her had been better then ever, more close and intimate without having to constantly have sex.

Austin and Mia were close too, so close that their love had been spoken to one another. Zack had even been seeing a girl, Kai a girl who use to be extremely unpopular but thanks to being introduced to new groups had blossomed into a confident girl. The rumours of why the Leaders had parted were still whispers, and some people still believed it was all a trick. Yet Dave and his friends were quick to reassure them. Dave, amazingly has survived remarkable well during this whole change.

In fact, he had become quite the comedian. He looked happier, it seemed Dee had been holding him back. As for Tony and Dee, they had completely isolated themselves from everyone and no one said anything about it. Dee knew she lost the power, but it seems as long as she had Tony, she was unfortunately happy.

Life at East Side High had changed, maybe for worse, maybe for better. But Mia felt like she had made a change, somehow. Even if it was just finding out some dirty little secrets, but maybe that’s all it took for some people to finally find their voice.

--

With only a two weeks until graduation left to go. Amelia, who had been spending her time in her room with Austin that Sunday evening.

The home phone rang and Erin answered, and shouted down for Mia to come get it.

“Hello?” Mia said formally, the number unknown. Slowly retreating back to her room.

“Miss. Fay?” a soft male voice said on the phone.

“This is she” she said automatically, as Austin’s hand crawled up her back, as she lied on her stomach. He stroke her back softly, giving her tingles.

“This is Mr. Costello, Nadia‘s father.” the man replied.

“Is there something wrong?” Amelia asked worriedly, she had only met him a few times when at Nadia’s house months back, it was strange he was calling her.

“Um…yes.” his voice suddenly sound strained. Mia sat up right immediately, she knew that tone. It was the bad tone.

“Nadia-” he began but his throat clogged up again, he sounded like he was holding back tears.

“Nadia was admitted to St. Matthew’s last night.” he said, Mia’s brain rang alarm bells. That was the general hospital of East Side.

“What happened sir?” Mia asked, almost panicking.

“Nadia had overdose on her pills yesterday morning, purposely and….she didn’t make it.” Mr Costello said quietly, and then burst into tears. Mia almost dropped the phone in shock, her eyes welling with tears.

“She’s dead?” Mia whispered faintly.

“My little girl is gone…” the older man sobbed, and then hung up. Mia couldn’t believe it. She pressed the button, ending to call that suddenly changed everything. Austin watched his girlfriend traumatized face.

“What’s wrong baby?” he asked, not knowing what she was going to say.

“Nadia’s committed suicide.” Mia said blankly, before bursting into heaving sobs.

Nadia Martha Costello had died on Saturday evening at 9:07pm, at St. Matthew’s General Hospital.

----

It was a blur. A great big blur, all Mia can remember is crying into Austin’s arms that night. Within two days, everybody knew what had happened and what sickened Mia is they all pretending to care, as if they really knew her.

The school was in depression. Lilly had been absent on her last week of school, Jake had been pitifully walking around, Dave had been in shock and Tony had been on a rampage, punching walls, breaking equipment and screaming at Dee, bursting into random cries. Deanna cried in front of everyone in their last Chemistry class.

The teachers, were also in sadness. An assembly was held the following Thursday for Nadia, giving people a chance to read out poems or messages, a presentation of Nadia’s school life, was showed. People cried. People laughed at the memories in fondness and People stared blankly. It hadn’t hit anyone probably that Nadia, their Nadia one of the use to be happiest girls alive, before anorexia got to her. She was always full of life, then the murdering condition got to her.

But Mia knew it was more, like Nadia had told her only five-six weeks ago. Amelia was smart, so she knew that Nadia didn’t do this just because of her disease, granted it was a big part in the mysterious reasons. A week since the news, and Mia had left school. Graduation in a week, yet nobody felt like celebrating.

Mia read the letter.

Dear Amelia Fay,

My name is Nadia Martha Costello, and I live in East Side, California. I currently weight 77 pounds, yeah I know…underweight. I’m 5ft 4, I have brown/black hair and I have brown eyes. I have Italian heritage and I use to love Italian food.
I use to go to East Side High, it was a okay school despite the ridiculous rules but whatever I went with the flow. My Dad is a billionaire and my Mum loves to shop. I have no siblings, but I have friends.

Lilly is my best friend, I love her to pieces. She is a firecracker and sometimes doesn’t know when to shut her mouth. But she’s an amazing person. Inside. Out.

I’m in love with Tony, he was my boyfriend for a full year a bit. I love him entirely, with my whole heart. He’s a beautiful person, despite his mistakes.

Yet I’m not good enough for him. When I was younger, I dreamed of becoming a princess, and marrying my prince. Tony’s my prince, but I’m not his princess.

My Dad’s had an affair.

So has my Mom.

Tony cheated on me with my ex-best friend Deanna Anderson.

I tried weed once.

I’ve had sex around 33 times…give or take.

I’ve been drunk roughly 10 times.

I’ve made myself sick 2546 times, and I’m ashamed of that.

Within the past five days, I’ve cried for 98 hours.

I’ve had my heart broken once.

And my back stabbed twice.

I’m broken.

Now, Amelia…..now you know me. You now know me better then some people know me. And this is what I want to forget. I want you to forget all this information. I want you to burn this, rip it up. I don’t care but after you’ve read every word, analyzed it which I’ll know you shall do. I want you to dispose of it.

Mia, you’ve been a great friend and I know I haven’t been the best person to you but you have no idea how much I have appreciated your company, your honesty and your friendship.

I know, that soon I’ll be driven to the edge where I’ll most likely want to kill myself. In fact, I will. Think of this letter as my confession, so no one thinks I was murdered.

I’m going to kill myself. One day. Soon. I don’t know when, or what time or even how but I’m going to do it.

I’m doing it because I feel empty inside now.
I feel like I should just fade away.

Don’t blame yourself or anyone else but me. Blame me, in fact for part of this….hate me, call me a bitch, cuss me, do anything you like but don’t ever hate yourself. I know you’ve had it rough in the past, and I know by giving you this, it’s adding more on to it. But I feel like you’re the one I trust.

By the time you’ll read this. I’ll hopefully be dead.
And I’m telling you now, if heaven isn’t real or if it is and I haven’t got a place, I’m going to be so pissed. Only kidding, but hopefully I’ll go somewhere else where this pain will go away and I won’t suffer anymore.

This letter is the worst. But it’s the best I can do.

Don’t hate me.

Oh and at my funeral, wear red. I love the colour red.

And please be there for Lilly always, she deserves a friend like you.

Tell Tony I don’t hate him.

Tell Dee I forgive her.

Wish me luck, and good luck to you for everything you ever do in your life, hope you get everything you deserve.

Love, Nadia xxx

PS. Congrats on doing the best thing for East Side, you defeated the hierarchy, that’s one of the best achievements. You defeated the protocol, well done babe.

It was so Nadia, so like Nadia to write something like this that through Mia’s pouring, silent tears, she gave a little smile. Vowing to do as Nadia wished. Going into Zack’s room, she got out a lighter from the drawer and going outside, she lit it and watched it burn to a crisp, whispering a faint goodbye to her friend, Nadia Costello.