Some Say This Can't Be Real.

We set up at the venue early, and as the day progressed, I could feel the nerves getting worse. It was a nervous excitement when I thought about what I was doing later, and I knew that Amy and Karlee shared the thoughts. There was already overwhelmingly positive feedback pouring in about their record, and I couldn't be happier for the guys. I knew that at the same time they were hurting because they would've wanted to share this moment with Jimmy. After their sound-check, an hour left before the show was starting, I saw Brian wander off alone. Worrying just a bit, I followed after him as he entered the stage. There was a curtain down in front of their stage setup, and I could hear the growing murmurs of the crowd as they began filling up the place. I saw Brian wander towards the drum-kit and stand there staring at it.

“Brian?” I called quietly, stepping up behind him.

He jumped and turned around. “Hey,” he said softly. I could hear the pain in his voice, as well as see it filling his eyes.

“I didn't mean to follow you, but I just wanted to make sure you were okay. I know this is an emotional day for you guys.”

“I'm okay. I mean it's hard not being able to physically share this with Jimmy, but I know that he's watching this. I know it sounds cheesy, but it's whatever.”

“It's not cheesy. I'm sure he's extremely proud of you guys for continuing what you love. He's proud of the positive atmosphere that's surrounding this album.”

“Yeah. It's pretty amazing.”

I leaned in to give him a reassuring hug before glancing around to figure out how to change the subject to something a little happier. “So, this is a pretty badass stage setup you got here. I'm a little jealous that all we have is a ten by ten square in front of the curtain,” I said with a laugh.

“You'll get this eventually. Trust me. Are you guys ready for your first real show?”

“Well, we've had a few small shows around Chicago, but nothing as big as this.” I paused and peeked out just a bit to look at the growing crowd. There were a few hundred people filling up the floor, and the sight caused my nerves to act up again. “I know they're all here for you guys, but I really hope they don't boo us off the stage.”

I jumped when a hand rested on my back. “They won't.”

I sighed and followed Brian backstage. The rest of them were hanging out just waiting for the show to start. I began feeling nauseous due to the nerves, but I didn't think I'd actually throw up until it was pointed out to me that my face drained of color. Karlee and Amy both led me to the bathroom where I emptied the contents of my stomach. After I cleaned up and washed my mouth out, I stared at myself in the mirror. “Guys, I'm fucking scared to do this.”

“We are too,” Amy said. “But we're gonna go out there and kill it. I know we are. At least you're the drummer. Karlee and myself have to stand even closer to the crowd.”

I let out a slight laugh as I saw the color return to my face. “I guess you're right. We've done this before, but just not a show this big, but yeah, we'll kill this.”

The three of us shared a group hug and were interrupted by a knock on the bathroom door. “They're cutting the lights in two minutes, you guys need to get ready to get out there,” someone said.

I groaned softly as the three of us exited the bathroom. I recognized the Berry twins as they stood there, holding Karlee's guitar and Amy's bass. We ran to the spot where we'd be taking the stage. The guys all stood there, wearing reassuring smiles. Right as I gave my brother a hug, the lights dimmed and the crowd began cheering. “You got this, sis,” Johnny whispered into my ear.

Amy was hugging Arin as I went to also give Zack a quick hug and kiss. He said the same words to me and I entered the stage first. An overwhelming flood of emotions took over me as I gave a wave to the crowd before sitting on the stool behind my drums. I picked up my sticks as both of my friends entered the stage. This was it. It was the make or break moment for myself and my band. “Orange County! How are we doing tonight!?” Amy shouted into her microphone before playing the intro to the first song on our set.

It was a surreal feeling to be playing in front of a real crowd. In Chicago we'd played for small crowds of less than a hundred people, but this was almost a thousand packed in here for what was supposed to be an intimate show. There were minimal mistakes through our set, and I, as well as the two of them, were shocked at how smoothly it was going. “We are Unbound, and we hope you enjoyed us. This is our last song, because we know you guys want Avenged Sevenfold out here!” Karlee shouted as I began playing the intro to our last song.

When it was over, the three of us got together to take a bow before I grabbed a microphone to talk. “We hope you enjoyed us. Sadly, we don't have any merch for you guys, but if you'd like to come say hi, we'll be at the main booth after the show. We'll try to get something for those of you who come out to see us opening for Avenged's upcoming tour. Goodnight!”

We ran offstage for water, and ended up in the arms of the guys who were telling us how great it went. After a few moments, we went back out to take down our equipment. While we were out there, a few shouts of approval were heard from the crowd. After my drum kit was taken down, I couldn't resist jumping into the pit between the crowd and the stage. It was still a bit until the guys were coming on, so I took the opportunity to talk to some of the people who were shouting at us. A few compliments were thrown my way as well as about ten people asking for a picture with me. I partially wondered if they just wanted a picture because I was Johnny's sister, but either way, I was still in the best mood I'd ever been in. I wanted to stay in there and talk to everyone, but time managed to fly, and the venue went dark again, causing the crowd to erupt into cheers.

The event staff didn't tell me to leave, so I stood there for a few minutes watching the set start, listening to the band begin the intro for the first single off of their newly released album. It was bittersweet watching the band starting their first live performance without Jimmy. I watched a few songs before realizing I needed to get backstage to fix myself a little bit before my even bigger moment. I waited for one last song before I went back, and it was something I wish I didn't do. I saw a backdrop fall, revealing a familiar picture that sent a chill down my spine as tears instantly filled my eyes. “You guys know who that is!?” Matt asked the crowd after a brief moment of silence. The crowd roared as louder than they've been all night as Jimmy's name was chanted through the building. “That's my best fucking friend on this fucking planet, and sadly he's no longer with us, but we know each and everyday that he's watching us, and watching you guys, appreciating all the support that you guys have given us. The support that has given us the strength to go on. This next song was written especially for him, and we can't wait for the day we can jam with him again.” There was a short pause before the song started. “Never feared for anything, never shamed but never free...”

Tears poured down my cheeks as I watched them perform. I could see on each of their faces how much they were hurting, and even underneath Matt's sunglasses I could've sworn I saw a few tears falling down his cheeks. I don't think I ever saw such a powerful, emotional, moving performance than I saw this very moment, and when it was over, I wiped the remaining tears and headed backstage. I didn't bother to change clothes, but I washed my face and fixed my hair before joining the group standing just offstage. Their set went flawless as usual, and when I heard Matt thanking the crowd before the place went dark, the nerves hit me again. I heard the crowd chanting for an encore before I saw the guys surrounding me. “Are you ready?” Johnny asked.

I nodded as I grabbed a pair of drumsticks. Zack kissed my head and reassured me that it would go perfectly. The five of them went back onstage for a bow, and Johnny grabbed the mic out of Matt's hand. “I'd like to be the one to introduce a special person to help with this last song. You might recognize her from earlier tonight, and she's a very special friend to all of us, especially me. Make some fucking noise for my little sister!”

I walked out, waving at the crowd once again before sitting at the drum-kit. Sitting at Jimmy's kit was strange. I couldn't tell if the feelings were good or bad, but my thoughts were interrupted by a familiar piano tune playing. As I played the song, I noticed that my brother and Zack had left the stage. Once the song was over, everything turned into a blur, and I couldn't believe what I had just done. The show was finished, and I couldn't stop smiling. The group of us all talked about how well everything had gone. Once it was a bit calm, I went with my friends to the booth. Upon helping sell some of the tour merch, we talked to more people who said they enjoyed our band and were looking forward to the upcoming tour.

It was a great feeling for us, and I was actually a bit upset when the night finally ended and we were on our way home. I was rambling excitedly to Zack about everything for a few minutes as I relaxed in the front seat of his car. I didn't remember falling asleep or anything until I was jolted back into reality. I looked to see him carrying me bridal style towards the apartment building. “When did I fall asleep?”

“During your ramble session you leaned back and just conked out,” he said with a laugh as he set me on my feet. “Too much excitement for you for one night. You're gonna crash and sleep like a baby tonight.”

I laughed, and as soon as we walked into the apartment, I called dibs on the shower. Like he said, as soon as I laid down, I was out. I was out before he even got into the shower.