Some Say This Can't Be Real.

I was closing in on the big move date. I had shipped a few things to Johnny’s apartment that I could live without, and I was about to go rent a small trailer to bring everything else I needed.

“I won’t lie,” Amy started. “I’m pretty sad right now.”

“Me too,” I said. “But we’ll all stay in touch.” I gave her a reassuring smile as I heard the apartment buzzer ring.

“Lisa!” Karlee shouted a moment later. “Someone for you. Said to meet him downstairs.”

“Perfect, because one of you needs to come help me get this trailer,” I said. “Then lunch, because I’m starved.”

The three of us grabbed what we needed and headed out. I was caught by surprise, as well as Amy and Karlee, who stood next to me with their jaws dropped.

“Johnny? What are you doing here?” I asked as I ran to hug him.

“I figured you might need some help moving, so I came to help. Plus, I rented a truck so we can bring all your stuff. We can tow your car on the back of it.”

I was about to ask how he got my address, but then I realized that I mailed him some of my belongings. Before the moment became exceedingly awkward, I turned to my two friends.

“Well, Johnny, that’s Amy, and that’s Karlee, the two I’ve been staying with.” I paused to look at them, still standing there, dumbfounded. “Guys, I know you know who he is, do I really need to introduce him?”

Once the awkward ice was broken, we proceeded to finish moving the rest of my belongings and putting them in the trailer. I didn’t have much left besides a bedroom set which I planned to put into storage until I moved into my own apartment. Once everything was packed up, the four of us went to lunch which was surprisingly entertaining. Soon enough though, I knew I would have to say goodbye to two of the people that helped keep me sane through the past few years. Back at the complex, it indeed turned emotional. After countless minutes of tears and hugging, Johnny and I finally got on the road.

“So, was there a real reason you came?” I asked, turning to look at him as his eyes remained glued to the road.

“I figured this would be one of the chances that you and I could really talk. No distractions, not having the others around.”

“You thought maybe I’d tell you about what happened, right?”

“A little, but I’ve said before, I’m not going to force it out of you.”

“Like I said, in due time.”

“Can I at least get an answer as to why you don’t want to say it?”

“It’s embarrassing, and I just don’t want you guys to overreact.”

“What? Did he kiss you or something?”

I turned to look out the window. “Something like that.”

“He has told me that he likes you.”

“I thought I liked him too, until he was an asshole to me. Until he started making all of his stupid comments.”

“I feel like I have an idea of what happened, but I’m not going to stress you about it. Just tell me when you’re ready.”

I remained silent after what he said, but then he quickly changed the subject. We talked about what we had been up to in the past three years. The conversation brought light to the first part of our road trip. As it began to get late, we were just outside Lincoln, Nebraska and decided to stop for the night. I sat in the truck while Johnny was trying to get a motel room. He was exhausted, and I offered to take over driving, but he said no.

“They don’t have any double bed rooms, just king,” he said when he walked back. “We can go farther down the road and see if there’s another place.”

“That’s fine here. You look really tired.”

After grabbing a few necessities, we walked into the room. Johnny went to shower while I changed and laid down to watch TV. The reception was decent as I listened to the news drone on. Nothing interesting was on TV, but I left it on just incase Johnny wanted to watch it when he was cleaned up. I removed my glasses, placed them on the nightstand next to my phone before pulling the covers up to my chin and letting my mind go free.

I gave in and laid there while Brian did what he had to do. There was no point in struggling against him anymore. He gripped my wrists tightly, pinning my arms above my head. I turned away, mentally fading away to a happy place. The happy place made everything end quicker. I felt the pain when it was over. My body felt weak. He backed off me, to which I responded by curling up into the smallest ball I could get into, sobbing silently.

“Why couldn’t you just wait till you were sober? We could’ve talked about it.”

“You would’ve just blew me off. I know you don’t like me.”

“So you had to fucking do that!?” I shouted at him, still curled up. “Just get the fuck out of here.”

“Well, I enjoyed myself. I’ll be back for more, and it can be our little secret. I know you wouldn’t go to them anyways.”

“Get the fuck out of here!” I shouted again. “Leave me alone before I call Johnny.”

“He wouldn’t believe you anyways.”

I was pushed over the edge. Grabbing my comforter and covering myself, I turned and shot a glare at Brian. “I fucking hate you, get the fuck out of my room!” I shouted, nearly at the top of my lungs.

He wore a sly grin as he headed out of my room. I locked the door, curled back up in bed, and began to sob again, talking to myself.

“I hate him. I hate him. I fucking hate him.” I said repeatedly to myself.

“Lisa? Lisa, wake up,” someone said, shaking me out of my dream. My eyes flew open, looking at Johnny who was leaning over me with a very worried look on his face. “You were having a dream, tossing and turning and you punched me.”

“Sorry,” I said. “I should’ve taken my meds.”

“Meds?” He arched an eyebrow.

“I’ve been on prescription sleep aids and anxiety meds for the past three years. Shortly after I got to Chicago. Mostly because I have the bad dreams,” I explained sadly, remembering the dream I just had.

“I’m sorry. Come here.” He opened his arms for a hug, to which I gladly accepted. I rested my head against his chest while he comforted me. “We’ll all have a talk when you get settled. We’ll get to the bottom of everything.” I just nodded. Part of me wanted to tell him, but I was scared to. I calmed myself down enough to where I could lay back down. “Who do you hate?” he asked. “When I woke up, you were repeatedly saying that you hated someone.”

“Take a wild guess,” I said.

“Oh. I see. Well, everything will soon be settled. Get some rest, we have a long day tomorrow.”

I curled back up under the covers, once again letting my mind slowly go free so I could fall asleep again. Moments later, a rare, deep, dreamless sleep fell upon me.