We've Got More Than We Know

I laid on my bed and just sobbed. I still felt so horrible about what happened. I can’t believe I kissed my best friends brother! A man who’s not my husband.

“It’ll be ok, Kirstie,” I heard Kylee try to comfort me as her hand gently rubbed my back.

“No it won’t,” I said through all my tears.

“What’s so bad that it won’t be ok?” She questioned me.

“Keegan and I… kissed,” My voice quivered.

Kylee’s mouth was literally hanging open as she looked at me. It made me feel even worse. How could I do this?

“You know Josh and I have been having problems with our communication and he just never seems to be here anymore in anyway. Since he’s left, I haven’t gotten to talk to him very much and… I was just lonely,” I explained.

“Kirstie, you could have always came to me,” Kylee sweetly said while brushing the hair that had fallen in my face away.

“But you and Tanner were getting along so well and then you just had Mason. I didn’t want to bother you guys. Then Uncle Toby is gone. My dad’s still dealing with things… Josh is… gone,” I went on as I started crying heavily again.

“Kirstie, don’t ever think you’re bothering me. You’re my best friend. I’ll always make time for you; especially if it’s something like this,” She comforted as I managed to push myself up.

“I don’t know what to do though. I just kissed… another man that I’m not married too,” I cried.

“Did it mean anything?” She asked me.

“No, but… it still happened. And he said he’s always had feelings for me. Ky, I just thought it was this little crush he had. I never knew it was like that,” I replied while running a hand through my hair.

There was a small period of silence before Kylee spoke up.

“Why don’t you and Emma come stay with Tanner and I until Josh comes back?” She suggested to me.

“No… I don’t want to be a nuisance,’” I countered.

“No, you’re coming,” She stated. “Come on,” Kylee said while getting up and putting her hand out for me. I eventually took it and she pulled me up.

“Are you sure Kylee? I mean, Josh is going to be gone for three more day,” I rambled.

“It’s no trouble and I’m sure Emma will like having more people around to play with,” She smiled.

“And Mesen,” I giggled.

Kylee started packing a few items for me while I went into Emma’s room and found her cuddled up in her bed.

“Emma, are you sleeping?” I softly asked.

“Nuh-uh,” she replied while rolling over.

“Were going to go stay with Auntie Ky and Uncle Tanner until Daddy comes back, does that sound like fun?” I told her while gently stroking her hair.

“Yeah,” Emma agreed while nodding her head. “Where Keegie?”

“Keegie had to leave, hunny,” I told her.

“I want dada,” She whispered while her bottom lip quivered.

“He’ll be back soon sweetheart,” I cooed while pulling her into my embrace.

She put her little arms around my neck and buried her face into the crook of my neck. The whole time I packed up a few clothes and toys of her, she wouldn’t unlatch from me. I know that she doesn’t really know what’s going on but I also know that she can tell something is wrong. I hate upsetting my baby.

We carried our bags out to Kylee’s car and on the way there, Emma wouldn’t leave my lap. I had to buckle her in with me because when we tried putting her in the backseat she started crying. I swear, the look in her eyes could have killed me.

As we got to Ky and Tanner’s house her spirits seemed to perk up a little bit. Emma held one of my and one of Kylee’s hands on the way in. I think she wants comfort too.

“Bebe,” She smiled once her caramel eyes landed on Mason.

“What’s his name, sweetie?” I asked as the three of us went over to Tanner who was holding his son.

“Mesen!” Emma squealed.

“Want to hold him Emma?” Tanner asked.

She nodded her head and Tanner had Kylee hold Mason for a minute while he pulled Emma up on his lap. He then took Mason back and put him in Emma’s lap and her little hands went around him. Tanner wrapped his big arms around the both of them while Kylee and I both let out an aww.

I felt my phone buzz and I took it out to see it flashing, new text message. I read it and it was from... Josh.

‘Hey babe. Sorry, been busy. What’s up?’ it said.

I felt tears building in my eyes but I texted him back, ‘when you get back, I have to talk to you.’

I’m going to tell him what happened. I can’t live with that guilt weighing me down. I have no idea how he’s going to react probably not very well. but I still have to tell him. He has a right to know. But for now I turned my attention back to my little girl.

“Mama, Mesen cute,” She grinned.

“Does he look like Uncle Tanner?” Ky asked.

Emma nodded her head before saying, “I wuv Mesen.”

“He loves you too, Emma,” Tanner told her. All of us let out a big aw as Emma bent down and left a kiss on Mason’s forehead.

“Ky, phone’s ringing,” Tanner said while nodding his head toward the phone.

I took a seat on the armrest of the chair Tanner and the babies were in while Kylee went to get the phone.

”What do you want, Keegan,” I heard her shoot at her brother.

This can’t be good. Why did I ever let him press his lips to mine! WHY WHY WHY WHY?