We've Got More Than We Know

So today was the day Josh was supposed to be back from Florida. He drove his truck to the airport and left it there so I wasn’t going to pick him up. I wanted to be sure that we were home when he was so we left Ky and Tanner’s house and headed home.

We waited for about an hour before we heard a car pull up. Emma immediately bolted off of my lap and flew to the door. I followed her there and right as I had arrived at the door Josh came busting in.

”DADA!” Emma squealed, so excited.

”EMMA!” Josh shouted back while scooping her up in his arms and covering her entire face in kisses.

“I wuv you Dada. I missedu’,” She said while clinging to him.

“I missed you too honey,” He replied while kissing her once more. “I missed this girl too,” Josh smiled while pulling me in for a big hug.

“I missed you,” I told him. “I love you.”

“I love you too baby,” He replied.

Josh kept hugging and kissing Emma for a few minutes until she got tired out. Emma decided that she wanted to watch Finding Nemo and so he popped it in for her but just as he was about to sit down with her I asked him to come upstairs.

“Remember how I sent you that text and told you that I needed to talk to you when you got back?” I asked as I sat down on the bed and he sat next to me.

“Yeah… is it urgent? Do we need to talk right now?” He questioned.

“Well yeah kinda,” I sighed while biting my lower lip.

“Hold on one sec,” Josh said while taking out his phone and replying to a text message.

”Joshua Michael Grant if you don’t put that phone away I swear I’m going to break it!” I shot at him, completely losing all my patience. “I seriously need you to listen to me and you’re not going to like what I have to tell you.”

“Okay…” He trailed off while shoving his phone in his pocket and sending me a weird look.

“Josh,” I started. “I’ve been really unhappy with our communication lately.”

“Like… what do you mean?”

“Haven’t you noticed how we hardly ever talk anymore?” I asked him.

“I guess now that you point it out, yeah,” he replied. “Why haven’t we been talking anymore?”

“Because any time I try to talk to you, you either aren’t listening, on your phone, or you’re just thinking of something else,” I sighed. “Lately I’ve just felt really invisible around you. When you left this week I was so lonely and Keegan came over and he stayed at our house.”

“Why did he stay here?” Josh questioned, wrinkling up his eyebrows.

“I was lonely. He comforted me. I felt like he paid attention to Emma and me. But a couple days ago he… and I…we….,” I started but as I tried to choke out that word, tears flowed down my cheeks. I was literally sick to my stomach from how bad I felt.

I had to run to the bathroom and I threw up. I almost couldn’t handle what I did. I felt like curling up on the floor and dying right there.

Once I washed out my mouth I leaned up against the counter for support and I violently sobbed. A few moments later I felt a warm hand rubbing my back.

“You and Keegan what?” Josh softly asked while still rubbing my back.

“We…kissed,” I croaked in the tiniest voice that was hardly audible through my tears. “I’m so sorry Josh.”

Josh didn’t say anything for a minute or two but it felt like days. I figured he’d be yelling at me right now but it was silent. I wouldn’t be surprised if he left me for this. As long as I’ve known Josh he hasn’t had… the best temper.

But, in the blink of an eye I was being pulled against his chest. He held me tightly as his hands still rubbed my back. I buried my face into the crook of his neck and bawled.

“I’m so sorry Josh,” I cried while holding onto him.

“No, baby, this is my fault. All of it is my fault,” He sighed.

“No it’s not,” I sniffled.

“Yes it is. If I wasn’t such a jerk and I didn’t make you feel invisible then it wouldn’t have happened. I was a horrible husband and I’m so sorry,” He apologized. “I’m sorry I didn’t listen to you.”

“Thank you for apologizing. But kissing Keegan was still not your fault; I have to take responsibility for my own actions and I’m so sorry for that Josh. You have no idea how horrible I feel,” I said through tears that stung my eyes.

“I don’t want you to feel horrible about it because I forgive you,” He smiled while tucking a piece of hair behind my ears. “I’m kind of not really liking Keegan too much but I forgive you.”

“I love you so much Joshie,” I sighed while hugging onto him.

“I love you Kirstie. I’m sorry I treated you like that and I promise I’ll never do that again,” Josh replied. “How about I take a week off to spend with Emma and you. No cell phones, no distractions, nothing. How does that sound?”

“I think it sounds amazing but… will Honda let you?” I asked.

“They’re going to because I’m taking off a week if they like it or not,” He smiled while giving me a kiss. “I’m excited to spend some quality time with you two.”

“I’m excited too. I think I know another person who will be really excited,” I grinned.

At the mention of our daughter Josh’s whole face lit up. I love seeing those two together; they love each other so much. I’m so glad my Joshie’s back, the Joshie that I first met and I’m so happy he’s here to stay.