We've Got More Than We Know

Tanner’s gone for a few days. I attempted to get this wedding planning stuff started. It’s no use though. I want Tanner involved as much as possible, but he’s not here right now!

So, after Kirstie and I’s little conversation yesterday, I figured I could put my Josh hatin’ aside and attempt to get Keegan and Josh to at least be civil around each other. I can forgive him for jumping all over Keegan, but if he ruined my wedding, that’s a huge deal. I’m not taking chances either.

Keegan came, believing the lie that I needed advice with my wedding. Like I would ask my younger brother of all people for wedding advice. Little did he know that Josh and Kirstie are on their way. Kirstie said her Uncle Toby was watching Emma just in case something went down. Now, I’m not too sure Mason should be here, but he’s giggling while him and Keegan play on the floor.

“Why exactly do you need me here?” he asked after about an hour had passed and we had done absolutely nothing.

“Because I value your opinion oh so very much, little bro,” I shot at him sarcastically.

“Well, gee, way to show me I’m loved,” he muttered playfully, making Mason giggle.

He’s been trying to get him to say Keegan all day. It hasn’t worked every well. I think Mason just thinks it’s a funny word. When Keegan says his name repeatedly, Mason just laughs at him. It’s cute though.

“Where’s Tanner again?” Keegan went on after a few minutes.

“Um… Georgia? Or was it New Jersey? I can’t remember exactly,” I told him, trying to remember where that man was off to.

“You don’t know where your fiancée is? Wow, Ky,” Keegan teased.

“Shut up! He goes everywhere. It’s hard to keep track of everything,” I told him.

“Aren’t you supposed to be all Team Foust and following him around. Isn’t that why you quit Rockstar? So you two could spend more time together and Mason would see his dad?” he kept going.

“Yeah,” I sighed, dropping my eyes to the magazine I was flipping through.

“Are you two… getting alone?” he asked with his tone changing from his previous teasing one to a more caring one.

“I don’t know… I just thought once his racing season came around, it would be… I don’t know exactly… Different? The way he made it sound was all sugarplums and fairies, but now it’s just… not what I expected,” I replied.

“Have you talked to him about it, Miss Tanner And I Have A Great Relationship Built On Communication?” he asked in a dorky way. It actually made me laugh a bit.

“No… I feel like it will take his focus off of his racing,” I sighed.

“So, his racing comes before you two?” he had to question.

“Keegan, don’t say that,” I sighed, putting my head in my hands.

“But that’s what you’re making it sound like. You and Tanner have a great relationship… when he’s around. But the second he’s gone, everything between you two like… falls apart. That’s not good for Mason,” he said in a serious tone.

I don’t know if you’ve gotten a grasp of Keegan’s personality, but… he’s a free sprit, snowboarder… he never gets serious. I hate it when he does, because… he’s usually right. And his previous statement was nothing less.

“I have a feeling you have so much to say, but you’re not saying it,” he went on once I didn’t reply.

“I feel like…” I started, but couldn’t bring myself to say what I was thinking.

Keegan got up to his feet with Mason in his arms to sit next to me. With one arm around my son, he brought his other one up to rub my back gently. This is supposed to be the other way around!

“You can tell me, Ky. I’m your brother. I’m always here for you,” he said softly.

“I just feel like… I gave up so much to be with him. And he just seems to, I don’t want to say not care, but,” I paused to shrug. “I gave up my career to be with him and have our little family. And he’s… still doing exactly what he’s done before,” I finished.

“You know I like Tanner,” he started as I looked down at Mason who was looking at Keegan’s big hands with extreme curiosity. It was cute. “But if he’s making you feel this way and not doing anything to change it, maybe… you two shouldn’t really get married right now,” he countered softly.

“I hate that I was thinking that same thing,” I sniffled.

“Just because you had a baby with someone doesn’t mean you have to marry that person. Sure, it’s the socially acceptable thing to do, but if you’re not completely happy with him, you can’t just ignore it and have it ruin your life years down the road,” he said.

I just nodded my head and sat back into the couch. Kirstie and Josh were on their way, so I didn’t want to get all emotional over this. Mason peaked around Keegan to look at me. Even though his features mirror Tanner’s, I still smiled and held my hands out for my boy. Once he crawled onto my lap, I left a kiss on the top of his full head of hair.

He went on to grab onto my necklace and play with it… it eventually ended up in his mouth. I giggled and gave him another kiss just as the door opened.

“Keegan, no matter what happens, I want you to stay right here, sitting by me,” I told him before anyone had the chance to step into the room.

He looked at me oddly, but he slowly nodded his head. Once Kirstie and Josh walked into the room, I reached over and put my hand on top of his when I sensed him tense up. Josh and him need to put this thing that happened in the past… and it’s going to happen today.