We've Got More Than We Know

“Do you even want to get married, Tanner?” I shot at my fiancée in the mist of an argument we were having, that we’ve been having a lot lately.

“If you’re going to act like I don’t care about you and Mason, then no,” he shot back

“Tanner, I’ve given up so much for you and your little racing career. I’m tired of sitting here and just being a house mom. I can’t even call myself a house wife!” I battled back.

“But this is what you wanted! You had a choice and you made this one,” he told me.

“You made it seem like I only had this one. I’ve thrown everything I worked hard for away… for you,” I told him, making sure he felt how horrible I felt with his actions right now.

“If you’re not happy, the door’s always open. There it is. Go!” he shouted, making Mason’s cries fill the room.

I stared him down for a few seconds, unable to believe that those words left his mouth. They just… left his mouth. He just said that to me. Without saying anything, I tugged the hunk of metal off of my left ring finger and threw it on the floor right in front of his feet. Without looking up at him, I picked up Mason from the floor where he was playing and took him up to his room to grab a few bags for the two of us.

“You’re not going anywhere. Stop it,” Tanner said once I came done the stairs with my arms full.

“You wanted me out, Tanner. I’m going,” I told him as I passed.

“You’re just upset. You’ll be back,” he said like it was nothing.

Without looking back at him, I slammed his door shut and then put Mason in my car. That sad look was still in his eyes. I felt bad for him, but Tanner and I have done nothing but argue since he’s come home from his last race. This isn’t a good environment for him.

“It’s ok, sweetie. Mommy loves you,” I told him before kissing his forehead.

“Dada,” he said with little lips puckered out.

I didn’t know what to say to him. I held back the words that his dada didn’t care about him, thinking that wasn’t too fair of a statement. I’m sure he does… he just has a hard way of showing it.

Once he seemed settled, I climbed into the driver’s seat and pulled out of the driveway and… headed to Big Bear… to my parents. I didn’t really want to bother Josh and Kirstie. They don’t need to put up with my problems. I’ll be ok… I have to be ok… I have a little boy that needs me to be.

Mason was quiet the whole way. He eventually fell asleep though. But I still felt bad. It’s not fair to him that his daddy and I aren’t getting along. I hated that I thought I was… done with Tanner though. He’s messed up way too many times since we’ve been together. So many times I thought I’d be better off if we would have just kept it a friends things. Now… I’m stuck with his child a single mother… with no job. Oh joy!

As I drew nearer to my parents’, I carefully dialed a number I hadn’t in so long… I hoped he’d answer. Thankfully, John’s voice filled my ears after a few rings.

“John… this is Kylee Va…” I started, but he quickly cut me off.

“Please, please, please, tell me you’re calling to come back to work. Do you know how hard it is to replace you?” he asked.

“Well, I am pretty amazing,” I had to boast.

“Between you gone and Kirstie not working all the hours she used too, our design department is crap,” he chuckled.

“Well, I was actually calling to… beg for my job back,” I told him.

“Oh, you don’t have to beg. I was giving it a few more days before I came begging to you,” he chuckled once again.

“That’s great. Please tell me I can start again Monday,” I smiled.

“Please do!” he said quickly.

“Alright, well tell everyone, I’ll see them soon,” I grinned.

We went on to say our goodbyes before we hung up. This made it so much better. I can support my baby now! I don’t need you, Tanner! I actually smiled when I pulled up to my parents’ house. Keegan’s car was here.

“Keeg,” Mason mumbled out once I held him against my chest, walking up to the front door.

“Yeah, honey. You’re Uncle Keegan’s here,” I smiled while kissing his cheek.

He flashed a small smile before he rubbed his tired little eyes and nuzzled his way into the crook of my neck. When we walked in, three heads turned to the door. I got a smile from everyone… except Keegan. He shot up and came over to pull me into a hug… he knew.

“You don’t need him,” he whispered so that only the two of us could hear.

“Thanks, Keegs,” I told him through a small smile.

“Keeg!” Mason squealed once we parted.

“That’s right, little dude. I’m Keeg!” Keegan smiled before taking his nephew from me.

I smiled as I watched those two play. This made the pain of taking Mason away from his father leave a little. He’s happy with his Uncle Keegs. But now I have to tell my parents what’s going on. This may be hard. They loved Tanner and I together. They were so happy once they found out we were finally getting married. But… couples fall apart right? That’s what happens… it can’t be all rainbows and unicorns all the time, sadly.