We've Got More Than We Know

Thing have been decent for a few weeks now. Other than the whole being pregnant thing. I eventually broke and went to the doctor’s to be sure. I haven’t mustered up the nerve to tell Tanner yet either. I was going to wait until tonight. It’s our three-year anniversary. He’ll be in a good mood right?

I hoped so anyway. When he walked through the door from his long day of testing, he smiled… tiredly. He smiled though. This is good. He even came over and gave me a sot kiss before he hiked up the stairs to get ready for our little date night.

When he walked down the stairs, he looked so adorable. All thoughts of all the crapy stuff that’s been going on with me emotionally quickly went away. He’s so sexy when we go out. His hair’s always in that messy spiky do. Then he wears those button up shirts that he rolls the sleeves up on. And then those jeans… they always make his butt look so cute. Topping off his look, he always wears Etnies… black Etnies that have white soles. Believe me… he looks good… really, really good.

“Ready, baby?” he asked while holding his hand out for me.

“Of course,” I smiled as he led me to his car.

We kept our hands laced together as he drove. Neither of us said too much. But I was ok with this. His eyes looked tired. Tanner’s not a rambler when he’s tired. He’s more of a… sleep when I’m tried person. But I’m hopeful for tonight.

“How’d your testing go?” I asked towards the end of dinner since he hadn’t said too much.

“Good. Ready for this weekend’s race,” he smiled softly. “How was your doctor’s appointment that you had the other day? You feeling alright now?” he asked back.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” I muttered, trying to push out a smile.

He looked at me as if her were debating to believe me or not… but he did. The rest of the night never got as awkward as that. I was just happy to get back to his house. I’m so tired anymore. But I had convinced myself that I needed to tell Tanner tonight. I thought about waiting longer, but I’m already gaining weight!

“Hey, Tan, you want to come out here with me?” I asked while opening the door in his room that led to the balcony.

He agreed and stepped outside with me. A small smile was on his face as he walked over and placed his hands on my hips. My face flushed with a shade of pink from his touch, making him bend down and kiss my warm cheek.

“Does it really bother you that I haven’t asked you to marry me?” he asked before I could start with anything.

“It doesn’t really bother me… it just makes me wonder why you haven’t,” I told him truthfully.

“I love you and I only want to be with you, but I don’t want what we have going to change. I feel like marriage changes so many things. I just want you and the amazing person that you are,” he explained. I was still iffy about his response, but I let it go. I had bigger things to worry about.

“It’s fine, honey. I love you. And a huge ring or a piece of paper isn’t going to change that,” I told him with my hands cupping both of his smooth cheeks.

His full smile came through before he bent down to leave a loving kiss on my lips. Before he had the chance to deepen it like I knew he would, I pulled away. His forehead was wrinkled up cutely in confusion too. It was hard for me to contain my thoughts.

“I have something to tell you,” I tired to smile as much as I could.

“That we can go to bed now?” he asked with a cute little smirk on his face.

“No,” I told him, trying to contain my giggles. “But… so, you know how…” I started, having a hard time of wording this just right. “How I’ve been telling you how I want kids… eventually?” I got out.

“Yeah…” he countered, looking at me oddly.

“Well, the reason I haven’t been feeling well for the past few weeks is because I’m… pregnant,” I told him, trying so hard to keep my smile since this was such exciting news, but… the look he was giving me made it hard to do so.

“You’re… pregnant,” he stated rather than asked.

“Yeah, isn’t it exciting?” I attempted to smile again.

“Ky, I… I don’t have time to have a baby,” he pushed out while running his hand through his hair.

“Well, you’re going to have too. I’m pregnant and there’s no taking it back,” I shot at him.

“You couldn’t talk to me about this? We’ve could have tried to at least plan one,” he kept going with his tone not the nicest.

“What was I supposed to do, Tanner? I can’t even talk to you about us getting married. How and I supposed to talk to you about having kids?” I shot back, feeling my eyes glaze over. Stupid hormones.

“Well, just going off and getting pregnant doesn’t solve anything,” he started losing it.

“So, you think I honestly tried to get pregnant just to tick you off?” I nearly lost it myself.

“That’s what it’s looking like,” he said in a smart butt way, making me want to smack those smooth cheeks that I wanted to leave kisses on only seconds ago.

“Well, then fine, Tanner. If you’re so ticked off about this, I’ll just leave you here to be ticked off,” I shouted at him with tears in my eyes as I pushed passed him.

He didn’t even try to stop me. He just let me keep right on walking. I held in my tears on the drive home though. I needed to get home, away from him. I can’t believe him. I’m carrying his child and he has no remorse for what he said at all. Some guy I thought he was.