No Soul

Sidney was weary of letting Emma and Noah sleep in their own bedrooms the day they had been painted. Surely the paint fumes were bad for them? When he awoke the next morning, he was very aware of the two roly-poly, pudgy little bodies in his bed with him. Emma slept curled into his chest while Noah stretched out and made himself as big as possible with his sippy cup of more organic sugar-free apple juice hung out of his mouth.

Sidney laid and enjoyed the weight of his little girl’s body pushed back into his chest, running his hand through her hair gently as she sucked her thumb quietly. He marveled in the way her long, dark lashes laid against her porcelain cheeks and grinned at the way that she had definitely inherited his thick, pink lips.

“You are so beautiful.” He whispered quietly, playing with her tiny toes in his hand, noticing that there were small chips of pink polish on her even smaller toenails. He wondered if Lana had painted them. Maybe they took a special day out to the salon for a special treat and got them done? He hoped he could do half of the job that Lana had surely done in raising them. Emma turned in her sleep, stretching out her tiny body before her big eyes could flutter open to smile up at him.

“Hi Daddy.” Her hooded eyes were sleepy before she could press her face into his chest. “Breakfast?” She asked, making him let out a soft chuckle. She definitely had an appetite. Sidney gave a start as Noah hopped on the side of his thigh; body laid out as he looked up at his Father.

“Morning.” He chirped excitedly. He was a morning person, something he definitely inherited from his Dad. Noah giggled wildly as Sidney lifted his leg, clearing the toddler from the mattress and sending him up into the air.

“Me! Me!” Emma cried, crawling down the bed, to latch onto Sidney’s knee, wrapping her appendages around his leg. Noah mimicked her stance and mirrored her actions on Sidney’s other leg. Sidney laughed as he took turns alternating raising them into the air – loving their wild giggles and excited squeals. Plus he was getting a nice workout, even if their little bodies maxed out at thirty pounds.

Soon they were tired out of climbing all over their Father and demanding breakfast. Sidney hoisted one in each arm before heading downstairs, settling the both of them on the kitchen island counter top before turning back to the fridge.

“What is your favorite thing in the entire world for breakfast?” Sidney asked as he dug through his fridge, which Nathalie had recently stocked with baby-friendly foods. When he didn’t receive a response, he looked back to see Noah and Emma both staring intently at her pink cast, tracing their tiny fingers over the notches and bumps in the plaster. “Hey.” He laughed, catching their attention. “What sounds good?” He asked. Noah lifted his arms, signaling he’d like to get down and Sidney complied, placing his tiny feet down on the ground. Noah walked over to the fridge and looked up at its contents, rubbing his chin interestedly.

“Pancakes?” He asked, whipping around to face Sidney.

“Yeah, I can do pancakes.” Sidney nodded, fairly certain that there was a package of dry Bisquick in the cupboard. “Do you guys like cartoons?” He asked, watching as his question was met with curious looks. Picking up Emma in his arms and Noah following him diligently into the next room, he nestled them both down into the corner of his suede sectional, tucking them in tightly before grabbing the remote and flipping it the guide channel. Seven hundred stations – one of them must have cartoons.

“George!” Emma squealed excitedly as Sidney stopped on Nick Jr. where an episode of Curious George was playing.

“Stay here while I make breakfast.” He said, dropping a kiss on both of their heads and sitting down the remote beside Noah before dipping back into the kitchen. He was turning on the griddle with a big bowl full of batter and blueberries when the doorbell rang.

“Ding dong!” Noah mimicked the chime as Sidney approached the entryway.

“Max.” Sidney smiled upon opening the door.

“Good morning mon ami!” The eccentric Quebecois smiled excitedly.

“I didn’t know you woke up before noon in the summer.” Sidney teased lightheartedly. “I’m just about to make breakfast if you want to join.” He invited, ushering his friend inside.

“Oh, what’s on the menu?” Max asked, smelling the coffee in the air and following his nose into the kitchen. “Blueberry pancakes, very nice.” He commended as Sidney pulled a package of sausages out of the freezer.

“Fry these up while I do pancakes?” He asked politely.

“I’ll do pancakes, I’m a pro.” Max shook his head after pouring himself a mug of coffee. It wasn’t long until all the chatter in the kitchen drew the attention of the curious little girl on the couch as she trailed into the next room, still clad in her pink Disney Princess nightgown. “Well hello there ma petit fille.” Max smiled upon seeing the little girl. Emma walked over and clung to Sidney’s leg, burying her face in his knee, keeping a shy smile on her face as she eyed Max from behind Sidney’s flannel sleep pants. “Don’t be shy ma princesse, come say hello to your Uncle Max.” Max grinned, kneeling down to her height. Emma giggled as she walked forward with her hands outstretched to pet his beard once again. Sidney shook his head as the sausages began to crackle and pop in the pan while Max drew Emma into his arms and let her assist in pouring out the pancakes.

Soon the pancakes and sausages were finished and Sidney set the table while Max fixed up plates for all four of them. With the toddlers in their booster seats and cups of juice on the table, they finally got to relax and dig into their breakfast.

Sidney watched intently as Emma picked up her rubber-coated fork with the dainty hand on her good arm and scooped up a piece of pancake into her mouth. Sidney cut them into small pieces before drizzling on just a bit of pure maple syrup. However, when Noah saw his breakfast, he ditched silverware all together and dug in with both hands, trying to shove the content of each fist into his mouth at once.

“Wow.” Max said, impressed as they watched the little boy absolutely demolish his plate, earning a disgusted look from his sister who was still very carefully eating her breakfast.

“Noah.” Sidney admonished, gaining the boy’s attention. “Do you know how to use a fork?” He asked, making the little boy frown before picking up his blue utensil and continue to shovel his food into his mouth.

“Did you know that it costs more than a million dollars to raise a child from birth to age eighteen?” Max asked, making Sid look at him oddly. “I googled it.” He added, making Sid nod. “I think that one is going to go through a million dollars of food alone.” He pointed his fork in Noah’s direction. Sidney couldn’t help but agree as he watched Noah attack his breakfast.

It was a good thing Sidney had a solid job.

•••

The number one thing Sidney loved about living in Sewickley was that people respected his privacy, however, he felt most comfortable surrounded by his teammates and friends.

The Irwin twins had only been in Sidney’s care for five days when Mario offered to hold a get together at his home so that the rest of his friends and teammates alike could meet the new additions to the Penguins organization.

However, the guests of honor were running late as Sidney chased Noah around the house. The toddler was bare naked as he dashed around the main floor of the Crosby home, arms outstretched and giggling as Sidney chased him with a t-shirt wrung around his hands.

“Noah! You have to put this on!” Sidney stressed as Emma watched, giggling from the couch.

“Catch me!” Noah threw his head back with a giggle. Sidney finally cut him off at the staircase as the toddler tried to go up to the second floor. Noah sighed as he let his father dress him, pulling on a miniscule t-shirt and a small pair of swim trunks. Sidney would never believe that they made swimsuits this small if Nathalie hadn’t dropped them off earlier that week.

“Daddy! Party!” Emma bounced on the couch excitedly as Sidney looked around the room, Noah on one hip as he pulled the hockey bag full of their things of his shoulder. He tried fitting all of it into one of the duffel bags that Nathalie had given him, but he never knew what all they would need and decided that a bigger bag was necessary. Scooping up Emma onto the other hip, he was about eighty percent sure he had everything when he went to tuck them into the car.

“Nammy’s party?” Emma asked as he kicked her feet excitedly against the guards of her booster seat.

“It’s at Nammy’s house, but the party is for you and Noah.” Sidney smiled as she puckered her lips at him. He kissed them gently before handing her another juice box.

“Mario?” Noah asked.

“Yes, Mario will be there, too.” Sidney nodded, hopping in the driver’s seat so they could finally get to the party, already twenty minutes late.

“Stinky in here.” Emma noted, reminding Sidney that he still had some equipment in the way back of the SUV.

“Sorry baby.” Sidney ran a hand over his hair as he made his way to the Lemieux residence. Not five minutes later they were pulling up, trying to find a place to park amongst the several cars in front of the house.

“Daddy I’m hungry.” Emma frowned as she wiggled in his arms. He slung the hockey bag over his shoulder, Emma on his hip and Noah holding his hand as they walked up to the home. A single pink and a single blue balloon were tied to the mailbox and Sidney shook his head with a smile, undoubtedly Nathalie’s doing.

“Ding dong!” Noah mimicked the doorbell and a few moments later, it swung open to reveal Mario with a wide smile.

“You know you can walk in.” He laughed as Noah jumped at Mario excitedly.

“I’m hungry!” Noah shouted, making Mario laugh as he scooped the little boy up into his arms.

“Daddy does this mean we eat now?” Emmy asked, resting her hand on the dip of his collarbone visible from his v-neck shirt.

“Yes, I’m sure Nammy and Mario have cooked lots of yummy food just for you.” Sidney smiled, waiting in the entryway and savor a few more moments with her until she’d be passed around all night among his friends. Emma looked up at him with a happy smile before leaning forward to kiss his lips.

“Good! Now we go eat!” She said excitedly, making him laugh. It was amazing how quickly she had managed to wrap him around her little finger.

Sidney carried Emma into the kitchen where several people were gathered and hovering around the marble counters were the drinks were set up. Sidney knew there would be a great spread of food in the dining room covering the Lemieux’s massive oak dining room.

“Max!” Emma smiled happily, making the center turn at the mention of his name.

“Emma mon amour!” Max grinned widely, opening his arms for her. Sidney let him take her and her eyes quickly turned disappointed as she rubbed his jaw.

“Where your hair?!” She squeaked, making him laugh.

“I had to cut it off, ma petit! It was getting itchy!” He insisted. Max then realized that some of the other patrons of the kitchen were watching on excitedly while Sidney poured a Diet Coke over ice. “Ma petit fleur, this is Jordan.” Max introduced the small girl to the tall blonde, instantly sending Emma’s face into Max’s neck as she smiled shyly.

“Hi.” She whispered, cheeks bright pink.

“Em, don’t be shy.” Sidney insisted.

“Hey there, cutie.” Jordan smiled. “You have a very pretty name, Emma.” He added, making her bury her whole face into Max’s neck.

“Coming on a little strong, huh, Gronk? Wait till she’s eighteen, will you?” Max teased as Sidney tossed the Quebecois an unamused look. “Emma this is Tyler, and this is his wife Annie.” Max continued. “Annie likes to bake cookies. You like cookies, huh?” Max asked, surprising Sidney at how mild-mannered he could be.

“I love cookies.” Emma nodded.

“Well we brought a big plate of them, would you like one?” Tyler smiled as Emma studied his face.

“Emma needs to eat lunch before she can have dessert, isn’t that right, Em?” Sidney asked, leaning against the counter and taking a drink before punching a straw into Emma’s favorite kind of juice box that Nathalie had stocked up on.

“Meat before sweet!” Emma smiled, repeating a phrase Sidney had always recited when she and her brother wanted their Graduates cookies before they had finished their dinners. Annie smiled and leaned into Tyler as he laughed softly at the adorable little girl.

“Want to go make some new friends?” Max asked, swaying with Emma on his hip softly.

“Okay, but I get to swim. Daddy said.” She informed, making Jordan grin over at Sidney.

“Yes, there will be plenty of time to swim, we’re going to party all night, right?” He asked, bouncing her up on his hip a little higher. Sidney smoothed out her little chocolate brown and baby pink paisley skirt that Nathalie had bought. He was going to need to write her a serious ‘thank you’ note one day. Especially after she had gone clothes shopping for the twins (even if he knew she loved it) and left little notes as to which shirts could go with which bottoms. Today Emma was in her little skirt and a white t-shirt with a pink butterfly while Noah wore tiny khaki cargo shorts and a blue, plaid, button down t-shirt.

“Hungry, Em?” Sidney asked to which the toddler nodded eagerly. “Come on, I’ll fix you a plate.” He said, leading her and Max into the dining room where more eyes were glued to them. It took a good fifteen minutes to make a plate full of things that Emma would eat. No ham, turkey, or roast beef, no broccoli, not cauliflower and definitely, absolutely no mushrooms. She settled for a little chicken sandwich with carrots, fruit and of course, cookies from Annie. Sidney wandered in front of Max and Emma, carrying two plates, one with a peckish amount of food for the toddler and one filled to the brim for the powerhouse skater.

“Smells yummy.” Emma commented as Max sat her on the sofa in the family room between the two men.

“Mario is grilling, do you want a hot dog, too?” Sidney asked. Emma looked skeptical for a moment before nodding.

“Yes, please.” She smiled toothily.

“Do you think we can trust Max to watch your plate? I bet Mario wants to see you.” Sidney said, making Emma giggle and look up at Max who feigned offense.

“No eating my yummies!” She wagged a finger at him, making the other group of people in the family room laugh. Sidney needed her to eat lunch before she could make any more new friends or she would get cranky. Sidney quickly hoisted her up onto his hip, bringing her throughout the beautiful and tastefully decorated home to the backyard and patio that was packed with people eating, talking, swimming and just having a good time. More pairs of eyes zoomed in on the two, at least, the eyes that weren’t focused on Mario and his tiny grilling assistant.

“Hi Daddy!” Noah shouted happily. “I’m helping!” He smiled. “I help Mario and Nammy!” He added.

“You are?” Sidney asked with a smile as all the attention was now on them.

“He quite enjoys being our little delivery boy.” Mario laughed. “Two burgers for the blondes over there.” Mario handed two plates to Noah before pointing over to Rupper and his wife who waved at the little boy. Noah smiled before walking down their order.

“Emmy, tell Mario what you want.” Sid said as she beamed up at his pseudo-father.

“A hot-doggie please.” Emma smiled.

“One hot dog coming up.” Mario said, giving her a wink.

“Has Noah eaten anything?” Sid asked.

“Yeah, he and I split a burger and Nathalie’s been feeding him fruit and some pasta salad.” Mario nodded. “Don’t worry, he’s getting pretty pampered out here.” He laughed. “Plus, Duper started calling him ‘Little Sid’, so get ready for that to stick.”

“Daddy, play!” Sidney looked to where other children of Penguins players and Disco Dan’s son were running around and playing with water guns and balloons.

“Eat first, then we can play.” Sidney insisted as Mario placed a hot dog on a plate for her.

“Let it cool and cut it up small.” Mario advised, handing Sid the plate.

“What do you say, Em?” Sidney asked.

“Thank you, Mario.” Emma replied, happy with her hot dog.

“You’re welcome, Emma.” Mario bid them adieu so they could go inside and eat their lunches. Sidney downed his plate as fast as possible so he could focus on Emma eating and then finally rope in Noah just a bit, feeling bad as he ran rampant all over the backyard.

“I’m full.” Emma smiled after eating half of her hot dog, a good amount of fruit, and a few carrots.

“Three more bites.” Sidney insisted.

“No thank you.” She said happily, kicking her legs as they hung over the sofa.

“Three more bites and then you can go play.” Sidney said just a little more sternly this time. She eyed him for a moment before eating a small piece of hot dog. “All done!” She announced, making Max laugh loudly.

“Nuh uh, that’s just one, you need to eat two more.” Sidney said, holding up two fingers. She pursed her lips to the side of her mouth and eyed him a little more closely.

“One for me, one for Daddy.” She compromised. Sidney weighed the offer in his head before nodding.

“Okay, one for me, one for you.” He bargained as he ate a piece of hot dog before feeding him a piece.

“Max, outside.” Emma patted Max on the thigh with her command, making him laugh but stand up nonetheless to comply to her demand. “Daddy where Nammy?” Emma asked.

“How about we let Max eat his own lunch and he can take you swimming later?” Sidney asked, knowing his friend hadn’t eaten lunch yet.

“Okay.” Emma sighed as she reached for her father. Sidney found an empty pool chair.

“Noah, buddy.” Sidney called Noah from where he was managing to entertain Pascal and his wife. Noah ran over to where his Father sat before giving him a big hug. As odd as it sounded, they had never been separated for so long after they had come to live with Sidney. “Making friends, baby boy?” Sidney asked, pushing his son’s floppy hair out of his eyes. Noah smiled with a toothy grin and Sidney knew what was coming next, he was going to have to make his rounds with the kids and introduce them to everyone. Taking each of their small hands in his, they started off slow with Duper and his wife who was holding their newest baby.

It only took an hour to get halfway around the backyard.

“You have a baby!” Noah shouted happily when they reached Kris Letang and his very pregnant wife, Brianna.

“Yes, I do!” Brianna smiled as Noah walked right up to her and put his hand on her tummy.

“Hello, baby.” Noah smiled. “Boy baby?” He asked, tilting his head curiously while Sid introduced Kris to Emma who was very smitten with the Defenseman. Something about those Quebecois…

“No, this is going to be a little girl.” Brianna replied sweetly as Noah patted her belly.

“Baby.” He laughed, making Sidney smile. He liked to think his twins were exceptionally smart.

“I like your hair.” Emma blushed as she spoke to Kris from behind Sidney’s knee.

“Well thank you.” Kris smiled.

“I can touch?” She asked.

“Emma, that’s not very polite.” Sidney admonished.

“Non, it is fine.” Kris insisted, patting his lap. Emma walked over and giggled as he hoisted her up onto his knee.

“Soft.” She cooed, petting his long, black locks, “and pretty.” She added, staring wide-eyed.

“Hey, Sid.” Sidney turned to see his coach walking over with a smile on his face. “How’s it going?” He asked, a beer in his hand as he joined the little group.

“It’s going.” Sidney nodded. “Noah, bud.” He caught his son’s attention.

“Oh man.” Dan shook his head at the resemblance.

“Noah, this is Coach Dan, can you say hi to the Coach?” Sidney asked as Dan stuck out his hand.

“Hi Coach.” Noah smiled enthusiastically, shaking Dan’s hand.

“Nice grip.” Dan laughed. “Cute kids, Sid.” Dan smiled.

“Thanks.” Sidney nodded, feeling a little burst of pride as one of his role models so openly approved of his little family.

“You got him on skates yet?” He joked.

“Not yet, but soon.” Sid laughed. To be completely honest, getting Noah or Emma on skates was the very last thing on his mind. Getting them fed, dressed, bathed and entertained every day was work enough. Thinking of it, Sidney was suddenly hit with a wall of exhaustion and wondered if he could slip away for just a power nap in his old room. Bidding his coach and teammate goodbye, Sidney grabbed each of his twin’s hands before crossing the backyard once again. Approaching Nathalie who sat with Mario, Austin and Lauren. “Would you mind watching them for just a few minutes?”

Nathalie noticed the droop in his eyes and wondered if maybe they had left him on his own with Noah and Emma just a bit too soon.

“Sure, go on upstairs.” Mario nodded. However, Emma wasn’t too keen on the idea of her father leaving.

“Where going?” She asked, reaching her arms up to him to let him know that she would like to be in his arms again.

“Em, sweetie, Daddy needs a nap.” Nathalie ran her hand over the toddler’s soft hair.

“I can nap, too.” Emma said, flexing her hands up at Sidney. “I go with you, Daddy.” She said, jumping softly to get closer to him.

“All right then, let’s go nap.” Sidney nodded, cradling her in his arms.

“We’ll watch him, he wants to go play anyways, don’t you, buddy?” Mario asked Noah who was nibbling on Mario’s burger happily, more ketchup on his cheeks than in his mouth. Noah nodded and blew a kiss to Emma before Sidney could carry her off into the house. It was just a lot of excitement to handle in one day. With her arms looped around Sidney’s neck and his hands under her little behind, he carried her through the house and up to his old bedroom that was still made and freshly dusted and cleaned.

“Do you want to sleep in your bed or with me?” Sidney asked as he kicked his shoes off, pulling off Emma’s tiny flip-flops.

“With Daddy.” Emma insisted. Sidney nodded and laid her down on his bed before setting the alarm on his phone and crawling in after her. “Snuggles.” She smiled, curling into his chest as he tucked the two of them under his blankets.

“You are a little snuggle-bug, aren’t you?” He smiled, already tired as his eyes began to droop. Emma stuck her thumb in her mouth as she crushed herself against his chest, head tucked under his chin as his hand trailed up and down her little back soothingly.

Maybe he had moved out of Mario and Nathalie’s too quickly. He couldn’t put the twins outfits together, he had made a hundred pancakes in the last week because he didn’t know what else to make them, and he was tired all the time.

But Sidney was their father, if anyone could take care of his own kids, it was him. He could do this, tons of parents did this.

Sidney didn’t need any help.