Tonight We Can Be As One

NOVEMBER

Gerard's Pov

So… yesterday… I don’t even know what to think about what happened yesterday.
I’m not sure what I want right now. I am not sure of what I am.
After I left my house, I went to the party with many things rumbling in my head. I had so many feelings gathered in my body that I couldn’t exactly tell what I felt. I was angry, disappointed, utterly confused and… glee.

I don’t even know why I kissed him, in the first place, because I have my girlfriend.
And speaking of Lindsey, yesterday she was ok. She was very nice to me, something I didn’t expect at all… and she was acting exactly the same way when we just started dating. The strange thing was that, I didn’t feel the same. Maybe I should do what Ray told me, work things out with her and maybe we could be the perfect couple we used to be. Even though she was kind of mean to me for a couple of weeks, deep inside, I still love her. I do love her… so the kiss with Frank is even more ridiculous at this point.

You know, it was just a kiss... I mean, I don't think I should make such a big deal out of it. That kiss meant nothing unless…there are feelings involved…
I don't believe that Frank felt anything; he just believes that I'm a nice guy and that it is really cool that we are friends.
Well that's what I'm guessing…

But what if he feels something bigger than our friendship? Because, honestly, I am feeling more than that.

God, what am I saying?!?

I don't like Frank! I have a girlfriend! I like girls... Not boys!

Idiot!

Although this scares me, I need to go talk to him. We both need to figure this thing out. I didn't want any awkwardness between us after this.
So I jumped off my bed and decided to go talk to Frank. On my way to his room my heart was beating fast and my hands started sweating a little bit.

I found myself standing in front of his door, doubting for a moment; but then I just knocked the door, telling myself a thousand times that it was just a talk… like any other talk we had had in all this time he has been here.
"Hey there!” He opened the door with a smile that somehow was covering the confused look he had in his eyes. He quickly turned around and kept making his bed. “How was the party?" Frank asked cheerfully, making me feel kind of stupid for worrying too much about this whole situation. It was obvious it didn't mean anything to him, I think I should turn around and leave.

"It was okay... I guess" I answered plainly.

"You guess? From what I heard it was amazing! Ray won best costume, right?” he cackled while placing the pillows over his clean bed.

“He did! How do you…?

“Laura and Mikey went after she felt better. You didn’t see them there?” he replied before I could finish asking.

“No, I didn’t…” Yeah, because all I did last night was make out with Linds. Frank just chuckled at my answer and went to his closet looking for something. Then I noticed he looked pretty polished to be hanging around the house. He was wearing a leather jacket over a plain white tee, black skinny jeans and a pair of vans.

"Hey, are you going somewhere?" I asked kidding. I knew he wasn’t going anywhere but I just wanted to know why he was so dressed up.

“Yeah, I am” I almost choked with my own spit when hearing his answer.

“Where?” I mumbled.

“Well it is funny story! Yesterday, after you left, I was… you know… surfing the web.” Did he just say surfing the web? How cute is that phrase? “I went to my Facebook and I had a notification that said that I was tagged by Jamia in one of her pictures."

“Jamia?” Of course I remembered who she was but I didn’t want to sound like I was always 100% listening to everything he says. When he told me about her, I felt a little… jealous? He sounded like he really liked this girl.

"The girl I talked to you about a while ago”

“Oh yeah… Jamia, right! So what is up with her?”

“She tagged me in this super random picture in which you have to tag your friends according to a phrase that says something about them, like: ‘Tag your best friend’ ‘Tag someone you’ve known since you were a kid’ ‘Tag someone who you think it’s hot’ ‘Tag someone you blah blah blah blah blah’… So she tagged me in the one that read ‘Tag someone who always makes you smiles’… And then I remembered that she lives here and that I am here too, so maybe we could han…”

“Wait...” I interrupted him.

“What?”

“Did she tell she wants to meet you in this picture you are talking about?” I won’t take any risk and leave Frank to go meet up with someone he doesn’t know.

"Nope. She didn’t… However, I thought it would be great if I just go to her house and surprise her. Because a while ago I told her I may be coming to the States and she send me her address in an email, so we could meet up personally" He showed me the paper in which he had written Jamia’s address that was near the computer.

"Oh I see…uuuh listen Frank I don't think this is a good idea. I mean, you can’t show up into someone’s home just like that, it would scare her… Moreover I think you should wait until…mmm… you… know her better" I tried my best to sound as calm as possible, but the truth is that inside I was freaking out. I wanted him to stay here with me, so we could talk and find out what is really going on between us… and I also wanted him to wait until I figure out what I want. I know, I am being selfish but I want some time to arrange my feelings, and that won’t happen if he meets this Jamia girl.

"You know… You can’t go!” I continued after a moment of silence as he didn't say a word either. I didn’t want Frank to go meet her, I just didn’t want to.
He looked at me confused before speaking.

"Gerard, I don't understand why…”

"No Frank, I'm dead serious, you are not going" I cut him off; I don't know why I'm doing this.

"Can you explain why?!"

I breathed calmly, trying to put myself back together.

"Did you ask permission to my mom?” Yeah, nothing better could come out of my mouth at this moment.

“Do I have to?” he asked back nonchalantly.

“Of course… you are living under her roof”

“Well if I have to I will, but now Donna is not here now… which means that I am going out right now and then come back before she comes back!” he snapped his fingers and headed to the door.

“Frank! Don’t go… I mean it! Just don’t!” I was getting frustrated. I was really freaking out for 2 reasons: Frank can’t leave without saying anything about last night or at least giving me some hints that he doesn’t hate me for doing what I did. And also because Jamia might be a murderer or…something… I don’t even know what else to do to make him stay.

He said nothing. Like he was struggling to find something to say.

“Frank, you don’t know her. You don’t know who she really is. I am not letting you go. She might be faking to be someone she’s not and perhaps she is not the girl you think she is. I’m doing this because I care about you!” The last words that left my mouth left Frank even more shocked.

"I don't know what is wrong with you today, so…you better stop it, alright? I do know her! I’ve seen her pictures, I know she’s real! So, please, let me keep going with my life. You have Lindsey, so why don't you call her or something? Do whatever you want but leave me alone!” He grabbed the door knob and shut the door, leaving me all alone in his room.

Shit…

Frank's pov

It was horrible, atrocious, and extremely disturbing. Gerard was right when he said I should stay at home; this was the most heart-stopping thing that has happened to me. Why am I always the stupid impulsive jerk? Why do I have to deal with things that bother me so immaturely? Ok, this is what happened…

After leaving Gerard in my room, I took a cab and went to Jamia’s, giving the address to the man that was driving. I was extremely nervous, thinking how it would be to finally meet her; although I had seen several pictures of her I was wondering how she'd look like in person. Int the middle of all this thoughts, the memorie of my kiss with Gerard crosses my mind, I felt something weird in the back of my neck and closed my eyes just to remember clearly the moment when we locked our lips. Then I opened my eyes just to see the reality, I was heading to Jamia's house while 90% of the thoughts invading my mind were about Gerard. They would go like this:

Frank get out of the cab and go back home
No Frank, you are already here, now be a man and carry on with this
But, you left Gerard alone in your room, you practically ran away from there
Are you afraid of something he might wanted to tell you?
Frank, if he went to your room, it was because he had an important thing to tell you
Did the kiss mean something to him?
Do you have a tiny opportunity with him?
Don't be stupid, he has a girlfriend...

I’m not gonna lie, yesterday after we kissed in the car, I actually thought it meant something for him as it meant to me; I was sure he would go to that party, dump his stupid girlfriend, come back to the house and tell me that he was confused, because I really was, but that we could make this work. Because I know that what I felt when we kissed was something especial, something unique. And I knew he had felt the same way.

But when he came back to the house he didn’t talked to me, so I knew things weren’t gonna change and that maybe I had gotten everything wrong. I had to live my life and after Jamia tagging me on facebook, I had found a good way to move on from something that was never real.

I was so confused, I didn’t know if what I was doing was a good idea, I wanted to meet Jamia, talk with her; and prove Gerard that he was wrong, that not all the people are full of shit, and also see if Jamia had the potencial to be more than a friend, you never know what could be waiting for you.

It was more or less 4 in the afternoon, the cab stopped and pulled me away from my thoughts; we were in front of a big white house.

“It’s here, Sir” The man informed me as I felt a knot forming my tummy.

I paid the man, got off the cab almost tripping and walked to the door, with slow and short steps.

Frank, you can still ran away, go back home!

I stopped at the front door frightened to death. Maybe this wasn’t a good idea after all. I could hear loud music and two voices coming from the other side of the door. I could perfectly recognize the song that was playing; it was “You Sexy Thing” by Hot Chocolate. I sneaked through the window, thinking that maybe Jamia was having a party, but what I saw were just two shades moving strangely in what looked like a couch. I couldn’t clearly tell what I was seeing because the curtain didn’t let me have a clear view inside. So, that was the perfect moment to leave but my fucking hand knocked the door.

A part of me felt that the right thing to do at that moment was to turn in a heel and run away before anybody could answer the door. However, my legs were numb and I couldn't move from the place in which I was standing.

“Coming!” I heard a girl giggling at the other side.

The door opened and I saw the girl of the photos standing right in front of me holding her top on the left hand, only wearing her bra and her jeans.

"Jamia?" I asked with a shaky voice. It was stupid. It was all Gerard’s fault! If he hadn’t run away into Lindsey’s arms yesterday after he kissed me, I wouldn’t had gotten into Facebook and I wouldn’t had made the obnoxious decision of coming here in the first place and… I wouldn’t be standing awkwardly here.

I could tell by the look in her eyes that she was absolutely shocked and confused to see me there. She slightly parted her lips to talk but before she could do so a girl appeared behind her, and put her hands around Jamia's waist.

"What is it babe? Hurry up!" The mysterious girl wailed placing a kiss on her neck. What the…?
She stopped kissing Jamia when she noticed me standing by the porch. She was also wearing just her bra and a skirt.

“Who are you?” She asked harshly

"I-I-I…" I stuttered, no words passed my mouth. I was speechless.

"Frankie?" That was the first time I heard Jamia’s voice.

"Yeah… Um… I’m sorry! I shouldn’t have come! I think this isn't a good moment, so..." Finally my legs responded. I took a step back and ran off.