I Can't Stay Away

I woke up in the morning to get ready for day one of Eric’s messing with Jon plan. Eric picked out a slutty outfit for me to wear for the day, it included black short shorts, a very low cut Wildfox tank top, which revealed my black lace push up bra, with a cute sailor charm necklace. I fit in with the best of the band whores. When I was done putting on the outfit I walked into the front of the bus where Eric smiled his adorable smile at me.
“I’m so good this is my best work ever” he joked hugging me so tight that he slightly lifted me off the ground. I was loving the day so far.
“I am so fucking confused.” Sauce said watching Eric and I with a questioning face. “So Eric isn’t mad at you and now you’re a band whore thanks to him? Is that what I’m seeing right now?” Eric and I both chuckled a bit
“You’re right about me being not mad at her but she isn’t a band whore, she’s just dressed as one.” Eric laughed the situation seemed crazy to anyone and hell it probably was crazy.
“I don’t even think I want to ask I’ll just go take a nap.” He said walking back to the bunks Eric and I laughed before he looked me up and down.
“I did really well on this outfit you look just delicious.” He said kissing me.
“Come on let’s start our mission.” He said grabbing my hand and pulling me out of the bus. Once we got to the merch booth we continued to think up more ideas for the Jon plan. Some kids wanted a shirt and I felt completely awkward bending over in the short shorts to get it and right before I could find the shirt I felt a smack to my ass. I looked at Eric with a glare once I realized it was him.
“What the fuck Eric?” I said as I handed the t-shirt to the girl and grabbed the money.
“Sorry Kenny, Jon was looking over here and well your ass was just hnging out I couldn’t help it” he said winking at me
“Boys are all the same” I muttered with a sigh and the girl who bought the shirt laughed at me before leaving
“You know I’m kidding Kenny, I’m much too classy to do that out of no where.” He said and I started laughing he was the farthest thing from classy.
“Jon’s coming.” I whispered to him. Neither of us knew what to do we just figured we’d go with the flow of it. As we both sat down on the fold out chairs next to eachother.
Jon came up to us “What in holy hell are you wearing?” I giggled a bit which I hoped would annoy him.
“Eric picked it out” I winked at Eric. “Don’t I look cute, I mean I’ve been getting looks all day. So I mean I’m pretty sure I look pretty great.” I giggled again
“W-well I mean y-you look like a turn on for most guys but it’s because you’re barely wearing anything. I mean there isn’t much for anyone to have to wonder about.” He paused “But baby please put something more on.”
“Why are you calling her baby, you guys aren’t dating… are you?” he asked he obviously knew but Jon didn’t know he knew.
“Uh no, but I can stand up for a girl can’t I? She doesn’t need to be exposing herself and I don’t like that you condone that.” Jon said completely pulling that out of his ass I started laughing at what he’d said and couldn’t stop.
“That’s about the funniest shit I’ve heard. YOU caring about a girl is complete and utter bullshit, the only thing you care about with girls is if they put out or not.”
“That isn’t completely true.” He said I was confused “I always cared about you I never cared if you put out, yea it was nice when you did though I mean I actually love you, I always have” on the inside I felt like giving up and giving into Jon again but I knew I couldn’t I didn’t want to lose the respect from any of the boys especially Eric.
“If you really cared you wouldn’t hurt m like you do, you definitely wouldn’t cheat on me especially not all the time. Jon I’m always willing to work things out and I’m never asking you to change but you can’t do anything for our god damned relationship.” I got out all the shit I felt obviously he didn’t get it, his eyes glared at Eric who I almost forgot was there for a second.
“Maybe I should go.” Eric said slowly slipping away, I could tell he felt awkward and he didn’t need to be there anyways.
“Babe, you aren’t allowed to tell me what I do and don’t care about. You don’t even fucking know me Kenny, stop pretending you do!” he was yelling now which meant it could only get worse.
“You’re right Jon you’re totally right cause knowing someone for over 3 years and living with them doesn’t make you know them at all right? Actually maybe it doesn’t, you treated me like shit bit I didn’t care because I THOUGHT I knew the real you and when you realized I found out, you dropped me, nothing you ever said to me was sincere. And to think I loved you.” I was nowhere near crying for once which made me proud of myself
“Fuck you, you’re a stupid cunt and I’m not going to break up with you cause I know it’s torture for you because you are so weak that you won’t be able to break up with me so have fun bitch.” He said then pushed me to the ground causing my bare legs to scrape up on the ground. It hurt bad I just wanted to wallow in pain but Eric came around the corner from nowhere.
“Kenny oh my God, are you okay?” he asked automatically as he got down on the floor next to me. “Where’d Jon go I can’t let him get away with this shit.” I just shook my head frantically.
“I can’t I just can’t” I mustered up I was hysterical.
“Kenny what’s wrong?”
“I can’t do it, I can’t break up with Jon. I just can’t!”
“Kenny darling don’t let him scare you.” Eric didn’t enjoy me being like this and you could tell his eyes showed so much sympathy
“He already did, he already does.” Eric made arrangements with Shady to watch merch until their set and he came within five minutes I could tell Shady was confused but didn’t ask knowing I was already hurt. Eric helped me off the floor that I was still sitting on after getting pushed onto it, and then walked me to the bus. My eyes stung like tears but none were coming out, I think this tour had cried me out.
“I know you don’t want to be with Jon, Kenny. I know you’re not that stupid.” he said pacing in the bus.
“But I am Eric I got back with him already. I’m just a dumbass who can’t convince herself she doesn’t need him.” I said sitting down on the couch, wincing at the pain from the cuts on the back of my thighs.
“Kenny you’re just scared of the thoughts he jams into your brain and the physical abuse as well couldn’t help that.” I knew Eric was right but I just didn’t know if I could do it.
“Does it matter I can’t do it and he knows that.” I couldn’t even stand myself if I was one of my friends talking to me I would slap myself.
“Don’t let him get to you, just please don’t not now.” Eric pleaded now taking the seat next to me. “No guy that pushes you around like he does deserves you.”
“You say that as if I’m worth something, I’m just a fucking nutcase I’m not worth anyone’s time.”
“Kennedy listen to me.” He said grabbing my shoulders and shaking me out of my pity trance. “You aren’t a nutcase Jon makes you one temporarily. You aren’t that though you are beautiful and lovely and you have so much good in you but Jon fucks that up because he doesn’t want anyone else to see how you can brighten people up by just a smile. So don’t say you’re nothing special you are just what any guy would ask for and you’re with someone who doesn’t even respect you.” I kissed him and he pulled away.
“I’m sort I made you degrade yourself today Kennedy I shouldn’t have made you wear this outfit.” He apologized
“Don’t be I was trying to get back at Jon I didn’t have to dress like this it was my free will.” He hugged me.
“Maybe we should get back out there and continue getting back at him and get back to the merch.” He smiled a cute awkward smile. “But if I’m not there don’t do anything I don’t want you to get hurt.” He really did care about me and now I know what him and Kyle meant when they said I was blinded. We walked out of the bus and towards the venue hand in hand, it was weird but nice. Jon never held my hand unless he was dragging me off somewhere.
Once we got back to the merch booth we noticed it was busier than ever meaning there was a signing Eric suggested we just let Shady continue taking over for me which I was fine with because I hated working during signings. It was selfish but I would do whatever Eric suggested so we went to catering to get some food. Once finally in the vicinity of catering we unclasped our hands realizing there were people in there who would be very confused with it.
Ollie was there and automatically came up to me. “Hey Kenny.” He said and I rolled my eyes “I’m really sorry about yesterday but I was high and a bit hungover and frustrated and I’m just sorry.” He sounded genuine but it pissed me off
“Ollie please save your apologies for someone who gives a fuck, I guess I’ll forgive you but don’t expect me to want to be your best friend anymore.”
“I wouldn’t expect any more than that thank you. But hey you look good today I’m glad what I did didn’t affect you I would have felt horrible.” I rolled my eyes yet again before I followed Eric to the line for food. Once we got the food Eric and I sat down with Sauce and Luis since Kyle and Dave were still at the signing. Luis and Sauce were just staring at Eric and me.
“Are you two going to keep staring?” I asked it was getting awkward
“Sorry we are just confused as to how Eric can completely hate you one day and then you guys are BFFLS the next day and you even let him dress you. It just doesn’t make sense” Sauce said and Eric and I laughed.
“It’s complicated; we are the definition of complicated actually.” I said “Plus we have matching tattoos and you know after that you have to stick together.”I laughed and Luis and Sauce just sat there still confused. I smiled at Eric I couldn’t even imagine how weird my situations seemed to other people.
A few minutes later Eric nudged me showing me Jon was there. I wasn’t sure what I could do in this situation to piss him off. “Does anyone want me to throw your trash away?” I asked standing up and leaning over obviously being a whore with my low cut shirt showing my bra I leaned right in front of Eric and Sauce. I was messing with Jon but Eric and Sauce definitely seemed to enjoy it. I then threw away their trash walking past Jon not even saying a word I just looked back at him and he looked angry. I came back to the table and sat on Eric’s lap playing with his hair and joining the conversations every once in a while until we left the catering area. On the way out of there Jon grabbed my arm and pulled me towards him Eric noticed and got defensive.
“I just need to talk to her for a second go with your friends have fun.” Jon said in an evil tone Eric walked away when I nodded my head saying it was okay.
“What do you think you’re doing?” he said to me “I mean you’re turning me on and pissing me off at the same time I’m not sure what you’re up to but it’s not making me happy.”
“Jon you know I don’t want to talk to you right now and I don’t need to explain myself and maybe I like the new look for me.”
“I don’t mind it.” He said kissing my neck he knew my hot spots and moved up to nibble on my ear. I pulled away slightly and we started walking to the bus area “If you like dressing this way you should hang out with me more, cause I know what you like.” He winked at me “I don’t know how long these clothes would stay on though.”
I leaned forward to kiss him but pulled away before I hit his lips attempting to be a tease then pecked his nose giggling a bit. “I’ll see you tomorrow Jon.” I smiled walking away towards bus I was beginning to believe this plan was going to work.