I Can't Stay Away

I spent the next few weeks avoiding guys in general except for the occasional Gerard who did turn out to be gay. I wasn’t over Eric and I hated it, I was hung up on a guy who didn’t want me. I spent my days at my job and my nights at home watching movies with random friends a lot of times Bree and Gerard but there was some movie nights with old friends.

Tonight I was with Gerard watching A Beautiful Mind a movie I had seen once before in my psychology class in high school so I was annoying Gerard with all the little things Mr. Brennan had talked about. I was simply stating how much I loved the fact that the little girl from Labyrinth was in the movie as there was a knock on the door I assumed it was our neighbors little kid selling cookies or something so I had Gerard answer, I could never say no to those adorable little girls.

I watched as he opened the door and it definitely wasn’t a girl scout. “Who are you?” Eric asked from outside, I didn’t want to see Eric right now I needed to get over him. I ran from the couch to my room and locked the door. I couldn’t hear Gerard and Eric anymore and I heard the front door shut so I hoped Eric left but no luck. There was now a knock on my bedroom door. “Kenny, I know you’re in there.” Eric said

“Eric I can’t talk to you right now.” I sighed, I couldn’t I really couldn’t

“Kenny, please!” he begged I could hear in his voice he had something to say but I couldn’t stomach his nonsense

“If she said she doesn’t I guess she doesn’t you should go, you tried” Gerard said to him I was so thankful he was there

I heard Eric walk out and I came out of hiding. “Thank you.” I said to Gerard and kissed him on the cheek and he smiled.

“Eric left this for you.” He said grabbing a single red rose off the counter “He likes you, you know that right? And I know you aren’t over him yet.” I didn’t want to hear this. “Breathe is in town for awhile to record, if you want to see him he said to text him for the address of where they are at.”

“I can’t do that I’m supposed to be getting over him.”

“If you really like him it isn’t going to work.” He rubbed my back Gerard insisted I go to Breathe’s house they were renting to at least visit them. I put on an oversized Drop Dead tank top with some tights and some heels. I got the rose Eric brought me and made it into a hair pin I then drove to Breathe’s rental house with the address I got from Kyle, I couldn’t bring myself to text Eric.

I arrived at the beach side house and walked in of course they didn’t have the door locked. I found the boys in the living room watching some lame movie. “Kenny’s here lets go out now!” David yelled and I was even excited to go out. All the boys came tumbling into the living room. I then realized I was going to have to drive half of the boys since the car out front that they had wouldn’t fit everyone.

The few I had to take all hopped in my Range Rover I was taking: Kyle, Colton, TastE, and Eric. “I like your hair clip” Colton smiled as he broke the awkward silence that had become my car. I sent him a quick thank you “Is that a real rose?” he continued to ask

“Actually yea it is real someone brought it to me and I decided to make something out of it.” I smiled awkwardly as we continued the silence until we got to the bar. I headed straight to the alcohol I felt that I couldn’t be around Eric without it right now.

“So how was your time away from us rowdy boys been? I’m sure your life has been a bit more relaxing.” Colton said, small talk was his forte I learned this over the years.

“Yea life is less complicated without you guys around.” I laughed a little so that I didn’t seem too upset. “But most of the time I just miss you guys.”

“I get what you mean by the complicated thing, we all know about Eric and you. Kind of sucks that he’s your best friends friend cause he’ll always be there when you visit us.”

“It isn’t my fault that he’s a little bitch.” How did we get on this subject?

“Maybe give him a chance next time he wants to talk to you. Maybe he’s not such a bad guy after all.”

“Colton he’s never been a bad guy, I just pretend he is cause I don’t want to like him anymore last time I let myself like him I got hurt.” Colton shook his head a little.

“You know the only reason he pushed you away was because he didn’t want to hurt you, you know with tour rules and all.”

“So he pushed me away and hurt me so that he wouldn’t hurt me?”

“and he was mad at Kyle for days because he let you leave.” I rolled my eyes.

“Well then Eric should have made me not leave or he should have been nice when he saw me after that.” I sighed I didn’t understand Eric’s thought process.

“Maybe you shouldn’t have stayed in your room today when he came over today; you’ll never know what he was going to say.”

“I hate you Colton why do you have to make me feel bad?” I said walking away to find Eric it was annoying to just hear Colton tell me these things since I assume nothing was going to happen between Eric and I.

I finally found Eric awkwardly sitting at the bar alone “Hey sorry about earlier, I just am crazy I guess. But Gerard said you wanted to talk?” I really wanted to hear what he was going to say, mainly because Colton made me feel bad about it.

“Never mind it obviously wouldn’t matter.”

“Don’t you dare not tell me now, I want to know.” I wasn’t even sure why I was so eager for this.

“Kennedy I-I miss you, you never talk to me anymore and it’s horrible without hearing from you. I overreacted a few too many times, and made dumb decisions to let you leave tour AFTER ruining us enough to the point where you even wanted to leave I did nothing for us to work but I wanted us to. I was just a fool and now you probably don’t want anything to do with me.” It was the most open he’d been about him and I.

“Eric you act like you’re the only one to blame, when you aren’t. I was going through issues and assumed I could deal with a relationship on top of that when I wasn’t ready I just wanted to be ready for you.”

“I’m really glad we’re talking about this cause I was just scared I mean I didn’t want to start something that would just end and leave one or both of us broken and after my last relationship I can’t be broken again it will kill me. And you’re the first girl I’ve liked since her so I didn’t want to ruin it and I did I’m a fuck up.”

“Don’t steal my nickname” I joked referring to fuck up. “I should have backed off you said you didn’t want to go out on tour since that doesn’t work out a lot and I just left it’s probably hard to even trust me now without assuming I’ll just run away or get mad about everything.” I hated myself a bit.

“No don’t blame yourself I just didn’t want to fuck anything up I almost hated how much I liked you because I never thought you’d feel that way.”

“Can we be any more corny? Well I do like you; I just don’t know what to do with that. I mean I’m so used to not being able to have you and” his lips pressed mine it felt amazing especially now that I know his intentions were good because he likes me and I liked him it seemed like the best thing ever.

We pulled away and both of us were grinning before I checked the time on my phone and realized the bar was closing soon, so Eric and I told all the boys to meet us all out at the parking lot when they were ready. Eric and I walked out to the parking lot early.

“The boys won’t be out for a while they’re all probably getting their last drinks in.” he leaned forward and kissed me again. It got overly heated his arms running up my shirt and we were there against my car when Colton came outside.

“Aren’t you glad I told you to talk to him?” Colton laughed “The others are on their way out right now in case you needed to know. I won’t tell anyone don’t worry your secret is between us.” All three of us stood there awkwardly and I walked over to Colton and gave him a kiss on the cheek “Thank you, you are a lovely soul” he was the only reason why I was even talking to Eric. He smiled you can tell he was proud of that he made us happy.

“Are you two friends again?” Kyle smiled as he walked out into the parking lot.

“Yea there is no point in fighting if we’re going to have to see each other all the time.” Eric laughed.

“I don’t believe it, hug or something.” David laughed “Do something friendly.” I laughed as I hugged Eric I thought it was funny people wouldn’t believe this but I guess they were used to us fighting.

“Well hey this is great maybe you can tour with us again when we go on our tour with Mayday Parade?” Kyle said.

“Well if you want me to… I mean PLEASE? Mayday Parade is amazing.” I was excited and hoped this offer was real.

“You can as long as you promise Eric and you don’t get in anymore fights none of us could live through that again.” I looked towards Eric for his approval and he smiled as he nodded and I promised Kyle there would be no more fighting and if there was no one would hear about it.

I was beyond excited for tour and ecstatic about Eric and I. I drove the boys back to their house and walked them in. Most of them decided to smoke which I opted out of it as I wanted to have a clear head since I hadn’t been this happy in awhile. It got beyond late so I felt the need to go home and Eric walked me out to my car and kissed me.

“Kennedy as much as I like you being together on tour is going to be hard.” He started to say

“Then why the fuck would you agree to let me go.” I yelled then quieted down a bit “I mean are you serious this is ridiculous.”

“You didn’t let me finish it isn’t going to be hard because of me anymore because I want us to work this time. It’s because Kyle can’t know about us if he does know about us he won’t let you go on tour because according to him it isn’t fair and the fights could be worse and yadda yadda so no one can know okay? Well except Colton but I’ll talk to him about it.” I smiled and quickly hugged him.

“So what does this mean? Are we together or…”

“If that’s what you want.” He smiled so wide and them I kissed him. “Not being to be us in front of everyone is going to suck but I really can’t let you go again. I could never stop thinking about you after you left.” He didn’t know how true that was for me as well. This night couldn’t have gotten any better.