I Can't Stay Away

“I wanna dance!” Everyone yelled as we watched one of our favorite scene in Dazed and Confused a movie we had all seen a million times together. We decided to stay in the bus and have a BC movie night. I of course chose Dazed and Confused seeing as it was my favorite movie. We were all over the front lounge of the bus in any spot where we could see the tv. I myself was on the couch lying down with my head on Eric and my legs on Kyle it was safe to say I was probably the most comfortable.
Once Dazed and Confused ended Luis popped in the movie Underworld it was already midnight so a few BC boys who were tired went to their bunks this left: Eric, Me, Sauce and Luis in the front watching the movie. This left me a bit more room on the couch since Kyle left. Because I was lying on Eric he could feel my body jump when something surprised me and he would laugh at me which angered me. He also kept playing with my hair, I was so comfortable with him I was so glad that I forgave him so easily. I mean he didn’t really do anything wrong he was just confused.
Underworld was over at around 2 in the morning and basically everyone was tired except for Eric and me so we decided to stay up and watch at least the beginning of another movie. Eric and I laid there in silence for quite awhile until I readjusted myself and was now sitting on him sideways with my back against the arm of the couch we looked at each other for a few seconds before we kissed. I couldn’t tell if it was a mistake or not but if it was a mistake it was one I liked taking but Eric pulled away.
“Are you sure you want to do this? I mean when Ollie kissed you, you said you didn’t want to kiss him.” I loved that he cared it was cute.
“I was drunk then and plus I don’t like Ollie like that.” I said then continued our kiss. We ended up on top of each other and began to make out as Eric slipped his hand under my oversized Rolling Stones shirt I was wearing and began to rub my back we continued this for quite awhile until we saw the time on the clock and it was 4 in the morning I suggested going to sleep and he agreed as we walked to the bunks. Before we got into our separate bunks we kissed again.
Even though it was beyond late I still couldn’t sleep so I went on my twitter app on my phone there weren’t a lot of people tweeting at 4 in the morning but Eric did tweet it said: “This lovely girl on Warped Tour, I think she is perfect.” I smiled he was so sweet, but I wasn’t sure if my feelings were the same or not. Being confused with myself seemed to be all I was lately.
I woke up the next morning to Eric talking to Sauce in the front. “You know I think she might like me. I brought up Ollie kissing her and she said she didn’t like him like that then kissed me so I mean she didn’t kiss Ollie cause she didn’t like him but she kissed me.” He paused “I’m not crazy am I?”
“Eric I don’t know man just don’t get your hopes up she just got out of a long relationship and plus girls are bipolar.” I laughed at that quietly since I knew a few guys who were bipolar themselves. I decided then to get out of my bunk and get ready for the day.
“Good morning sleepy head. It’s about time you woke up.” Eric said to me as I walked into the front of the bus not even knowing what time it was.
“Why what time is it? Where is everyone?” I asked rubbing the sleep out of my eyes.
“Well Kyle and David are at a signing and Shady and Luis are doing your job.:
“Why didn’t anyone wake me up?!”
“Because I told them how late you went to bed, you needed your sleep.” I just sighed as I made my way to the bathroom and changed into some attack attack booty shorts I had bought the other day and a plain black tank top and then walked back to Eric and Sauce.
“Damn girl who are you trying to impress?” Sauce asked
“Uh how would this impress someone?” I looked down at myself. I looked like I was going to work out.
“For guys the less clothes the better and you look good with tight clothes on and your legs are insanely long any guy would want to bang you today.”
“Well then maybe I should change.” I said easily feeling awkward around them now.
“No you look fine Kenny Sauce is just a stupid guy. I’ll walk you to the booth.” Eric said grabbing my hand and walking me out the door.
Walking to merch wasn’t that bad I didn’t notice too many guys look at me more than usual but every time a guy would supposedly check me out Eric would wrap his arm around me we even walked past Jon and Eric did the same thing which I could tell made Jon mad, but what I did last night would make Jon mad too.
“Well I have to perform in 15 minutes so I should go.” He said once we got to the merch I could tell he didn’t know what to do so I hugged him and he left.
I then got a text from Jon saying ‘We need to talk’ I just sighed I was so over being with Jon at that moment, I didn’t feel like dealing with his bullshit that day but before I could even text him back he came up to me.
“Whats wrong now?” I asked even though I actually didn’t care.
“That guy with his arm around you whats up with that? Also you need to change you look like a band whore”
“That guy is just my friend and thanks for the band whore comment I thought you were my boyfriend you aren’t supposed to insult me.”
“I can do whatever I want to because you’re my girlfriend” he said smiling a menacing grin he knew the comment got to me.
“Well you act like I’m your slave.”
“No I have other girls to be my slave.” He said completely serious.
“Then why do you need me?” I asked sadly, I shouldn’t have been sad but I wasn’t even good enough for Jon.
“I don’t honestly know lately Maybe you should prove that to me.”
“Fuck Jon are you serious? I am one of the best things that happened in your life and you know that don’t tell me I need to prove it to you.” I wasn’t sure why I was fighting for him but what he said hurt.
“You might be right but the fact that you have to hide our relationship the fact that you’re embarrassed to be with me now, it’s almost as if you think you’re better than me now, that you could do better than me and trust me you can’t. No one could love you like me. No one would even take you in.” He glared at me and I could feel the pressure from his eyes. “Think about what I said while I’m gone and I’ll see you tonight” he said with a wink and he was gone, like he didn’t just say anything.
I was then in the booth alone and the only thing I could do was to think about what Jon said and as I thought about it I cried. He was probably right I could never get any other guy other than him he was my only exception for guys. Jon was the only guy who would put up with me. I don’t know why I ever thought I was better than him, I must have been crazy. I actually deserved all the shit he did to me. I continued to cry, I wanted this tour to be fun and all I’ve done is cry.
Eric came back to the merch booth before everyone else. “Kenny are you crying? What’s wrong?” he asked very sincere.
“Oh uhm I’m fine I have something in my eye.” I said
“Don’t bullshit me you were bawling right now what is wrong?”
“Nothing you need to bother with my life is stupid just trust me.” I said upset.
“Well we have an off day tomorrow and if you aren’t happy by then I might have to hurt you.” He said smiling a beautiful smile at me.
He was so sweet to me and I couldn’t figure out why.