Living Like You're Dead

The only thing in Daryl’s head was Addie’s well-being.

And Merle.

no, don’t think of merle, it’ll only make things worse. Think of Addie. She’s okay, she’ll be okay, oh god the baby, this blood, why is it everywhere, why is her pretty face bruised? Merle couldn’t have done this.

But he’s done it before.

No not to Addie, Addie was his – Merle wouldn’t have touched her.

Andrea came over to Daryl, he was just standing there, blank. He knew she needed medical attention… but he didn’t know. Andrea put her hand to Addie head.

“She’s doing okay, we need to get her cleaned up, and in bed.” Andrea’s eyes locked with Daryl’s she was nodding her head and trying to get Daryl to comply. Finally he nodded in agreement.

“Take her upstairs. I’ll meet you there. Okay? Daryl? DARYL!” she snapped. His thoughts had started racing again.

Is the baby okay? Addie was so happy about having a baby… it made her so happy. Merle he didn’t do this, no he didn’t. Addie my Addie…

Then he snapped back to Lori. He turned to head down the hallway. Had Merle seen what he’d done? Was he sorry? No, Daryl thought. Merle didn’t do this.

Daryl was denying his brothers involvement in Addie’s misfortune, but in the back of his head he knew it was true. Merle had forced girls before, Merle always took what he wanted, and right now – he was obviously still drunk.
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Rick saw the screwdriver on the ground. He grabbed that and followed Daryl down the hall. He opened the door for him so he could get Addie inside without hurting her. Rick caught his eyes only for a moment – but it was a moment long enough to see the grief inside him.

Rick closed the door, but left it ajar. Then he headed to Shane’s old room just next to Daryl’s. Dale was utterly confused at what he’d just seen.

“What the hell did that oaf do now?” he asked Rick.

“Let’s hope it’s not what we think.” Rick said. He jostled the handle working the screw driver into the screws. The handle came loose and the latch finally released.

Inside was Carol and Lori, and all three kids. They looked agitated, and a little scared.

Lori looked at Rick, she gave him a swift hug – she took a moment to breathe in her husband, he was safe – but he smelled of rain and earth. Not the most pleasant smells to her. She sensed something was wrong.

“What happened to Addie?” she asked. Rick looked at the kids…

“You guys should take a quick bathroom break.” He said. “But then go straight to your rooms for bed. Ya hear?”

They all nodded, even they could tell something was wrong. “And don’t go in the kitchen or the living area, DON’T EVEN GO NEAR IT!” he yelled. Turning back to Lori and Carol he sighed.

“Addie…” he closed his eyes. “May have been raped.”

“By who!?”

“It seems Merle found his way here on some luck of the Gods.”

“Merle. That sonofabitch.”

“Oh god, Daryl. What about Daryl?”

“He’s with Addie. We’re waitin’ to deal with Merle.”
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There was a first aid kit in the cellar, Andrea grabbed that. She made her way down the hall and upstairs, the Abha ran up to her and gave her a giant hug.

“You came back!” she said.

“Yes sweetie I did. I need you to stay with Sophia tonight okay?”

“Yes, I can. Rick said that we can’t go in the kitchen or the living room. But can I have a water?”

“Yes baby. Go wait in Carol’s room.”

Andrea headed back to the kitchen. It smelled of burnt fish and fermented hops. She grabbed an armful of water and snacks and headed back down the hall. She left some water with Carol, Abha, and Sophia. Then left some with Carl and Rick.

She had a few bottles left when she arrived at Daryl’s room and Lori was there. She was already wiping away dried blood from Addie’s face. Daryl was kneeling on the floor next to the bed. Lori was laying on the bed trying to help. Andrea gave water to the both of them and then took the last bottle to dampen some gauze from the kit. She began to clean the blood off Addie’s legs.

Addie was awake, and seemed to be lucid. She was looking at Daryl who was gazing back at her with severe sorrow. She seemed comfortable with Lori and Andrea seeing parts of her body that were normally covered, Daryl was just glad to have help. He massaged her wrists; they were bruising slightly. But now her face was normal. Her eyes were still puffy from crying, but the happiness she felt for knowing everyone was okay made her happy. Her vision was finally clear and she saw Daryl’s bruised face. She touched them lightly, and he smiled at her.

“Addie… did Merle… did he…?” Daryl really didn’t want to know if Merle had done this, but he had to defend her.

Something that kept rattleing in his head was what he once said to her,
I’d kill anyone who tried to hurt you.

“Did he do this to you?” he finally asked. Addie only responded with tearful eyes. Daryl knew that meant yes.

As Daryl walked out of the room Addie felt so sorry for him. His brother had let him down… someone he cared about so much had betrayed him.
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Daryl paced the hallway. I’d kill anyone who tried to hurt you.

He scratched his head. I’d kill anyone who tried to hurt you.

I’d kill anyone who tried to hurt you.

The thought wouldn’t leave his mind. He finally realized he was downstairs… in the living room – still thinking I’d kill anyone who tried to hurt you.

It was the five of them. Would it be three witnesses, one victim, and one murderer? Rick was facing Merle… Glenn and T were at Merle sides incase he decided to try and run.

“Well my own brother is gonna let some law, Asian, and a damn nigger hold me in contempt?”

“Contempt?” Daryl said. “You learn that word from Addie?” he asked.

“Which ones that?” he asked. Merle knew who Daryl was referring to, but he often just played stupid.

“The one from the kitchen.” Daryl stated. “The pretty one.”

“Ahhh the Frenchie?” Merle asked. “You got yerself awfully worked up over her, she’s no more than a Betty Casker.”

Betty Casker was the girl that Merle had done this to before.

“That’s actually where you wrong.” Daryl said calmly. He was now in front of Merle. Daryl had a few more sentences in his head that were calm, and rational. But Merle next comment had Daryl at his throat.

“Some loose whore.”

Daryl had Merle by the collar. Merle was shocked by his brothers ager towards him.

“Brother what the fuck do you think your doin’?”

“What’d you do Merle, WHAT’D YOU DO TO HER?” Daryl was shaking him.

Merle hit Daryl with his good hand. well, his only hand. His already bruised face was tender and it hurt him. Glenn and T were trying to hold him back, and Rick finally got a hold of him around his neck. Daryl took his chance to get a few good cheap punched into his older brother.

Merle finally stopped struggling against Glenn and T.

“You don’t trap yer own kin like that!” he yelled. “Go fuck yerself cause you ain’t my brother.”

Daryl laughed. It was the kind of laugh that pointed out stupidity.

“Your own kin?” he paused. “Addie is pregnant. or she was.”

“What’s that got to do wit-“

“Damnit Merle She’s my god damn wife! She was going to have my baby.”

“You may have killed your own kin! Do you understand now?” And I swear to god – if that baby is gone, I will feed you to those damn walkers. You stupid fuck!”

This time Merle was silent. His actions had come full circle.

“Did you even talk to her before you taped her mouth shut? Cause if you had she would’ve told you about how I came to get you on that roof, how she and I fell in love, how your niece or nephew was growing inside her, did you even think Merle for one god damned second? No? Of course you didn’t, you thought with your dick.”

Daryl turned to Rick, “Just put him in Shane’s room for the night and tighten the handle back up.”

“Yeah, yeah, that’s a good idea.” Rick said. Daryl stormed off to leave his brother with guilt.

Merle said nothing.
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Daryl returned to Addie’s side and they talked while she tried to fall asleep. They didn’t speak about Merle. They didn’t talk about the baby. He just held her and told her about his favorite American TV shows. She told him about some dinner parties she hosted, what kind of food she cooked and what music would play. Then they started combining their weekends, something along the lines of a dinner party to watch cartoons, and classical music while playing beer bong. It made them laugh and kept their minds off the man next door.