Let Me In

I felt someone shaking me softly as I woke up from my dream. I opened my eyes to look into the eyes of my father who was sitting at the side of my bed. I burrowed my brows together and looked at him a bit confused as to why he was in my room, of course I wasn’t complaining because this was his house and he did wake me up out of the worse nightmare that I had ever had in the past couple of months.

“You were having a nightmare Kat and screaming no I’m sorry” Matt said softly looking at me worriedly.

“I was oh” I said sitting up in the bed.

“Do you want to talk about your dream?” Matt asked placing his hand on mine and rubbing it gently with his thumb.

“No, I rather not” I said as I quickly pulled my hand away from his. His face dropped and he let out a sigh before getting up and walking out of my room. “Matt…um thanks” I called out just before he left. He turned around and sent me a soft smile “Breakfast is ready if you want some” he said as he left.

I let out a sigh and ran my fingers through my hair as I sat in bed thinking about the dream that I just had. In my dream Matt had come in and pulled everything out of my room and started throwing it out into the yard, while he was doing that he kept yelling that I was a no good ungrateful little brat and that he wanted nothing to do with me. All I kept saying to him while he was doing that was that I would change and be better and that I was sorry. I realized that I needed to at least be a little kinder to Matt because he was nice enough to let me in to his life when he didn’t have to.

I got out of bed and walked into my bathroom took a shower and got dressed before I made my way downstairs. Val had already fixed me a plate of food and had it on the table waiting for me when I walked into the kitchen. Breakfast was a bit awkward because no one was really talking.

“So um Kat do you like shopping?” Val asked me breaking the silence.

“Yes and no I’m not too big of a shopper unless I really like something” I answered her before taking a sip of my apple juice.

“Oh ok well I only ask because I’m heading to the mall with my sister later and I was wondering if you wanted to come” she smiled at me. I chewed on the inside corner of my lip as I thought about it, I needed to give all of them some sort of chance before I wrote them off completely.

“Sure I’d love to” I smiled at her.

“Great” she smiled at me as she got up and placed her dishes in the sink.

After breakfast everyone went their separate ways for a little bit. Matt went outside and made a phone call and Val went downstairs to do some laundry because she said that it was piling up. I simply made my way into the living room and sat on the couch to watch some television. I was overwhelmed with all of the channels that Matt had because at home we only had basic cable because that was all we could afford.

I finally decided on watching this t.v. show called Blue Mountain State on Spike TV because I found it hilarious. Half way through the program I heard the screen door open and Matt walking in. He sat down next to me on the couch and raised his eyebrow at the screen as he watched one of the main male characters on the screen let out a girlish scream and run off in the other direction with the ball.

“What the hell are you watching?” he asked with a slight chuckle when he saw what the guy was running from.

“Quite possibly my new favorite television show” I said in between my laughter.

“If you say so” Matt chuckled.

We watched another episode together and I had to say it was pretty nice. When the show was over Matt looked at his watch, got up from the couch and started patting his pockets.

“Going somewhere?” I asked him as he pulled out his keys.

“I have to head to the studio and meet the guys to discuss some things”

“Can I come with?” I quickly said before I even realized what I had just asked. I think it was the fan girl in me that had asked because I was always a fan of his band thanks to my mother. When I was little I had learned to separate the Matt that was my father and the Matt that was in the band only because it made it easier for me to like him that way.

The smile on Matt’s face after I had asked that was indescribable. It was actually pretty cute and I could tell why my mother loved him because his dimples looked like they could melt any woman’s heart.

“Yea of course you can come” He smiled. Matt called out to Val and told him that we were leaving and she was ecstatic. She told me that she would pick me up from the studio later with her sister so we can go shopping.

Driving to the studio Matt let me take control of the radio and was surprised with the music that I chose. As soon as we got to the studio Almost Easy came on the radio making me laugh because one of their old songs were playing and I was going into the studio to hopefully hear a new song of theirs. I walked into the studio and was instantly tackled by Elle.

“Why hello to you too Elle” I giggled wrapping my arms around her and hugging her.

“What are you doing here?” Elle asked as she let go.

“Well I wanted to see where the magic happens” I said to her as I walked around looking at everything. I stopped when I saw a picture of the guys with Jimmy. Looking at that picture broke my heart. It reminded me that I wasn’t the only one that lost someone that they loved and it made me guilty that I had treated Matt the way I did when we first met.

“I wish you could have met him,” heard Elle say from behind me, “He was amazing, he was always there when you needed him and was always able to brighten anyone’s day when they were down.”

“I wish I could have met him too my momma always told me stories about him saying that he was one of the best friends that she could ever have” I said softly turning around.

Elle sent me a soft smile and then motioned me to follow her into the next room were the guys were. We sat down quietly on the couch as we listened to the guys talk about how they wanted to finish this album in memory of Jimmy but that they needed to find someone that would do Jimmy some justice. They figured that no one could do him better justice then his favorite drummer Mike Portnoy. The guy's manager, Larry, said that he would make the phone call and see if Mike would agree to it. The guys kind of went off in their own little direction afterwards as they waited to see what Mike had said. Elle and I sat there on the couch silently for a little while.

“So Kat do you play any instruments?” she asked me breaking the silence and picking up one of her brother’s guitars.

“Yea I can play the piano and the guitar” I answered shifting my weight on the couch so that I was turned to her.

“That’s cool, Zacky tried teaching me the guitar but that turned out to be disastrous so instead I learned how to play the drums from Jimmy” Elle smiled at me and handing me the guitar.

“Nice, how did you know that I play left handed?” I chuckled taking it.

“I’m psychic” she smiled widely, “Play something.”

“Play what?” I asked taking the guitar pick out from in between the strings.

“Whatever you want”

“Alright” I said shaking my head. I started to sing the song You’re A Mean One Mr. Grinch because I was really in the mood to watch The Grinch. I hadn’t noticed that while I was singing everyone had piled back into the room and was now listening to me. When I finished I looked at Elle and she looked as though she was speechless for about two seconds until she lunged at me and tackled me into another hug.

“Oh my god Kat that was amazing” she squealed hugging me tightly.

“Thanks but I can’t breathe Elle” I laughed. She pulled away and smiled at me.

“Looks like the apple didn’t fall far from the tree in the music department” Brian laughed at Matt as he took a seat by the control board.

“That was great kiddo” Zack smiled sitting next to me, taking the guitar and ruffling my hair.

“Thanks” I smiled shaking my head.

I looked over at Matt and saw that he was grinning like a mad man. He looked like one of those proud papa’s watching their child’s first grade school play.