Betrayal

My teeth tugged my bottom lip into my mouth as my hands gently pushed the door open, revealing the chilly dark night outside. I looked around the rear parking lot. The dim yellow lights on the building illuminated the entire space, making it easy to spot Jimmy sitting on the ground against the wall, legs crossed, and with a cigarette between his lips.

It was after we performed our sets. The show was over, most of the fans gone, but the guys had insisted we stay and relax a bit back stage. "Have a couple beers", they said. Well, a couple turned into a lot for most of them, and two hours later, we're still here.

I had observed Jimmy the whole night. He seemed to stay away from the large group, something he was usually in the center of. He smiled here and there at something someone would say and sip from his beer, but mainly, he'd remained silent. Eventually, he quietly escaped, not being noticed by anyone but myself.

I don't know why, but my feet carried me towards the way he went. I didn't even think on it. I was just suddenly here, following him outside.

Yet again, my feet took me places and didn't even let me think. I was walking towards him. Within a couple feet from him, he noticed me standing there. He offered me a small, not reaching his eyes smile. I returned one, just as emotionless, and sat next to him. We were quiet for a moment, him just taking long drags from his cigarette.

"So, you're not gonna scold me for smoking?" Jimmy knew I hated smoking. I always referred to it as a 'cancer stick' and never allowed him to smoke anywhere near me. In fact, I tried to make him avoid cigarettes as much as possible.

"You're no longer my boyfriend. My opinion doesn't matter." My eyes were locked on my fidgeting hands in my lap.

"Ouch." He took a long drag, and threw it to the ground beside him, stomping out the small stub. "So, why'd you come out here?"

"I needed some air."

"So, why'd you really come out here?" He looked to me. Damn his blue eyes. Damn them to hell.

"I saw you walk out here and I figured you might want some company." I muttered, eyes going back to memorize every detail of my suddenly interesting hands.

"And?"

"And?" I repeated looking to him.

"That's not the only reason." He knew me. He knew me too well for his own good.

I opened my mouth, then closed it. Re-opened, closed. I tried to form the right words to say. Nothing seemed to come to mind but what my heart wanted to pour out.

"You can tell me, you know." His hand intertwined with my own. His eyes loving, and resembling of a much happier Jimmy, yet not completely. "As a friend, you can tell me anything. You can be truthful with me. Because as your friend, I care. I love you, Rose."

I shivered when he spoke. He was so sincere. So honest. So loving. Tears sprang to my eyes, but I quickly blinked them away so he wouldn't see them. I leaned my head on his shoulder, causing him to lean his head against mine. A shaky shudder escaped my body before I spoke. "I wanted to be around you. I want to surround myself with anything having to do with you because that's the only way to make it not hurt."

"Oh, Rosie..." He muttered as he nuzzled his nose onto the top of my head, and into my hair.

Suddenly, the door to backstage, about 20 feet from us, burst open. This caused us to drop our linked hands, and sit up straight. All of the guys, completely drunk. Brian leaned a against Alex for support, as the rest of the guys staggered onto the bus, singing "A Pirates Life For Me".

Shannon just followed them out the door, shaking her head at their antics. Once outside, she looked around, and spotted me on the wall. Her eyes instantly softened as she saw who I was with. Even though her look was one of sympathy, she simply shook her head softly, as if in disapproval, and walked onto our bus.

"Wanna watch a movie?" His voice was soft.

"I don't know..." I muttered, looking at the ground.

"Please? We're friends still, right? And friends watch movies together, right?" His eyes were pleading in a playful manner. I giggled and shook my head at his silliness.

"Alright. Go grab your pajamas, James." His eyes lit up, he jumped to his feet and started to make his way to his bus. Before he was half way there, he halted, turned, and ran back to me. He grabbed my hand, and pulled me up quickly before planting a big kiss on my cheek. This of course caused a girly giggle to leave my throat, influencing a goofy smile onto his face. He then ran to his bus.

I shook my head one more time at him with a soft smile. "What am I going to do with you, Jimmy?" I muttered to myself as I made my way to the bus. I pulled out a pair of blue and white polka boxer shorts from Victoria Secret's Pink, with the phrase "LOVEPINK" on the back in black, and a large white Kurt Cobain t-shirt from my suitcase.

I quickly dressed before hearing a loud, "Rosie!" echo throughout the bus.

I smiled, and replied, "Be there in a second!"

"Okay! I'm setting it up then!" Jimmy replied.

Another smile appeared on my lips, these few smiles being the most genuine ones I've had in days. I pulled my long blonde hair up back into a ponytail, washed all of make-up off, and brushed my teeth before heading to the living area of the bus.

A hand grabbing my arm stopped me from stepping out of the bunk area. I looked to see the owner of the hand to be Shannon.

"Rose, do you really think you should be around him right now? After everything he did?" She had nothing but concern etched onto her face. I softened at this. She was just caring for me.

"Honey, I'm okay. It's fine. We're just trying to be friends. Nothing is going to happen." I knew that, that was what she would be worrying about. She nodded, but I could tell she wanted to say something else. "Yes?" I encouraged her.

She sighed before speaking. "Don't you think it's a little soon to be talking to each other and hang out? It hasn't even been a week yet."

I too let out a sigh. "Shannon, I know you're just looking out for me, and I appreciate that, I really do! But I'm okay now. Before we were together we were the best of friends. I just want to return to that."

She nodded, still not convinced. I leaned forward and kissed her cheek, causing her to pull a fake look of disgust on her lips. I mimicked her before we both burst into giggles. "I love you, wifey!" I told her.

She laughed and reciprocated. "I love you too!" I smiled at her one more time before joining Jimmy on the couch. I'm not going to lie, he looked absolutely adorable with his hair in a sort of a mess, and his glasses perched on his nose. I just giggle at his goofy smile.

"What?" He asked, oblivious, while pressing play to the movie.

"Nothing. I just love your glasses!" I exclaimed. He laughed and shook his head at my childishness, turning to the movie. "Oh!" I exclaimed before the beginning credits had even begun. I sprung from my seat and ran to my bunk.

"What?" Jimmy called out, pausing the movie.

"Candy!" I exclaimed as I brought out my stash to share with him.

"Yeah!" His eyes lit up like a child's would. "Skittles!" He grabbed a package to share with me once I sat back down. He resumed the movie as we ate the colorful candies. "Oh, look! The last one! Who gets it?"

"Me!" I yelled-whispered. Even though Alex was probably still up with the guys on their bus, Shannon was still in her bunk, sleeping, meaning we had to be quiet, as not to wake her.

"No. Mine." Now he sounded like a child.

"Nooo!" I moaned a complaint. "I want it! You got the first!"

"Yeah, but it was orange, and no one likes orange. This one's green! And everyone knows green is the best."

"Please!" I put on my best pout.

"No." He poured the last skittle into his hand, and was about to pop it into his mouth before I snatched it from him.

"Haha! Mine!" I exclaimed, and ran to the couch across from the one we were sitting on. I popped the treat into my mouth when Jimmy suddenly straddled me and started tickling me. I wanted to scream out in laughter, but couldn't since Shannon would obviously wake up from the noise.

"How dare you!" He faked anger, but was clearly smiling from my laughter.

"Nooooo! Please! Stop! We ca-can't wake up Sh-Shannon!" I attempted to get out through my laughter. He scoffed and then stopped. I stared up at him, and then, to taunt him, I stuck my tongue out, the green skittle remaining on the tip of my tongue. He gasped then before I could swallow the skittle, crushed his mouth onto mine. I was taken aback. I couldn't react. His tongue instantly pushed past the barrier of my lips. I could feel him massaging my tongue with his own, causing me to kiss back without thought. His tongue was on a mission though. He was in search of the skittle and once he found it, he brought it into his own mouth and pulled away, swallowing in triumph.

My mouth gaped open at what he'd just done. He made his "mighty man" pose, and looked down at me with a large smile. His smile dropped as soon as he saw my reaction, realizing what he had just done.

"Shit, Baby- I-I-I mean Rose, I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking. I'm so sor-" I pushed him off. The movie was long forgotten as I walked back to my bunk. He grabbed my wrist, and tried to stop me. I simply pushed it off and kept walking.

"Rosie!" He tried to get my attention.

"Drop it." I said firmly, earning a look of shock from Jimmy at the authority in my voice. He simply nodded as he turned away. A shaky sigh left my lips. I sulked in my bunk, and tried to keep my tears and soft sobbing quiet.