Here's Everything I've Always Meant to Say

I’d been saying at his house for about a week now and We had to go back to school soon as in the next day or two we’d be going back to school and I wasn’t ready for that. I still had bruises healing on my face. My chin injury was starting to heal much better than it had been before. Though I’d gotten a bit skinny because I’d only been drinking protein shakes because my jaw has been hurting so bad. My eye looked a lot worse then it felt lately.

The last few days Eli and I had the house to ourselves and though it was just the two of us cuddled on his bed and talking and looking at the TV and doing all the things that we could think of nothing physical had happened. Sure we’d had the weird interactions where our hands or faces would be much too close to each other but neither one of us really did anything.

Right now I was laying on his chest as we watched Eclipse for the third time over break. Neither one of us was really paying attention and he looked really distracted like his mind was throbbing with thoughts. Slowly I rolled over so I was now laying between his legs my head and arms by his chest and my head was tilted up to watch him. He didn’t even notice that I’d rolled over.

His head was tilted back and he was looking at the ceiling. His hazel eyes were full of concern and confusion and his heart was beating faster then I’d ever heard it beat before. His jaw was clenched and the little vain in his neck was poking out a little bit telling me that he was stressed. The pursed lips were another sign.

“Eli, What are you thinking about?” My voice was quiet because I didn’t want to startle him out of his thoughts I just needed to know what was wrong. Slowly he brought his vision back down to make eye contact with me. His eyes when he looked at me showed something different a small sparkle some kind of happiness.

“Nothing, Why do you ask?” He asked softly and I could feel his hand gently brush against my cheek right below the bruise on my eye knowing he was just trying to avoid causing me pain. He looked like there was something he was keeping from me.

“Eli, Don’t lie I can read it on your face, Something’s wrong.” I forced a small pout onto my face as I moved my body a little closer to his. My face only centimeters away from his, He seemed to be a little breathless the closer I got.

“Kylie, I’ve just got a lot on my mind and I’m not going to lie it has a little bit to do with you and those bruises on your face.” He was quiet as he reached his hand up gently setting it right under the bruise near my eye. I let out a soft sigh my mind racing of thoughts the closer I got to his face the more my mind clouded.

“Don’t, There’s nothing to think about. I got hurt. It won’t happen again. I’ll go home after Break and I’ll be just fine and you can go back to Jen.” I whispered my face nearing his even more and I could feel my breathing pick up as my heart slammed against my chest.

“What if I don’t want to go back to her Kylie?” His question caught me off guard but it was the best response I could have expected to receive after mentioning his girlfriend. I felt him shift under me so he was sitting slightly his face nearing mine even more. I could feel my eye lids start to droop as our faces continued to near.

“Why wouldn’t you go back to her Eli?” my voice was barely audible. I could feel the sexual tension between us building and I felt like I was going to explode if I didn’t kiss him. I heard him open his mouth slightly as if he was going to answer but instead of speaking his soft lips met mine. I felt like all the breath was knocked out of my lungs as our lips met.

His lips moved slowly against mine. Both of our mouths seemed to be shaking and both our bodies seemed desperate to find the air that we’d both lost at the beginning of the kiss. My shaking hands and racing heart had no guide. My hands managed to find his neck pulling him even closer to my needy mouth. His hand remained on my cheek as he held the kiss. His other hand finding my waist was he pulled me closer to his chest.

Neither of us could even seem to pull away from each other to breath no matter how badly our brains wanted the oxygen. I could feel his heart slamming against his chest meeting my slamming heart beating against my chest. Now I’d never been kissed like this. I’d been kissed on the cheek but this kiss? I’d never been kissed with such love, such passion behind it. Our bodies started to sink into the bed frantically trying to get closer to each other and keep the kiss lasting.

The kiss was only semi broken to get oxygen from their nose but it didn’t last for long just long enough to make our brains quite screaming for the air. My hands moved from his neck and into his hair and I couldn’t kiss him hard enough or with enough passion and I had no idea what kind point I was trying to make with this kiss and it wasn’t help full to my busted lip but nothing seemed to matter right now. I felt no pain, no physical or emotional pain, Just pure bliss.

We’d both been so caught up in each other’s arms that neither of us had heard the door open. Or the clearing of the throat of the parents standing in the door way. It was only when one of them let out a laugh that we finally heard them. We reluctantly pulled away from each other unsure if we really wanted to move but we knew we had to address his parents standing in the door way watching us.

“What do we have here?” I heard his mom laugh as she stood in the door way. The sting was starting to come back to my lip and I could feel that it w as bleeding a little bit but I didn’t even care. That had been the most amazing experience I’d ever had. I climbed off him letting my fingers linger on his lips as I got off him.

“I’m going to go get dressed…” I sounded much more breathless that I thought I would after that. I managed to stand and my legs wobbled under me and my whole body felt like it was tingling. I let out a small laugh before stumbling my way to the bathroom with my clothes in hand I made sure I was quiet enough to hear what they were talking about.

“Well, That was quiet the show.” I could hear the amusement in his mother’s voice as she spoke to her son. “I thought you were with Jen though? I mean I prefer Kylie over Jen any day but I don’t condone cheating you know that Eli.”

“Mom, Jen and I decided to take a break while she was out of town and to figure out if it really was each other that we wanted” Eli’s voice was strained and breathless, I could hear him searching for breath as I was.

“Oh? Over the last week have you got that figured out?” She didn’t take it to seriously and it irritated me a little but I knew it was just because I was in the bathroom trying to change while the two of them spoke about him choosing between Jen or me.

“I, I don’t know mom. That kiss you just saw? The first kiss we’ve shared all week, that’s the only physical contact we’ve had…But mom, that…was…amazing.” I couldn’t help but let out a giggle as I finally pulled my shirt over my head making sure that the bandages were still hiding any cuts that were healing on my arms. Eli still hadn’t caught on to the fact that I cut.

“Eli, I think that you and Kylie belong together but I’ve told you that a million times and you never listen.” She let out a sigh. “I can’t even help you with this because I don’t know how, I will tell you that, what I just saw between you to is the realest thing I think I’ve ever seen. It’s all there Eli but it’s all up to you.” I opened the door as she patted her son’s knee and glanced over at me.

“Thank you CC for letting me stay this week, it’s been the best thing that I could have asked for.” I let out a small smile as I looked to his mother. His mom just smiled and walked over wrapping her arms around me gently before whispering.

“Don’t you worry honey, there’s no competition, Team Kylie and Eli all the way.” She smiled as she walked out of the room and I couldn’t help but laugh and feel a little better about myself knowing that his parents were rooting for me in this situation

“Mom!” He scolded before sighing heavily as she quickly ran away from the door. I giggled gently before looking at Eli an eye brow raised.

“It’s ok Eli.” I spoke softly as I moved over to sit next to him on the bed sighing gently; I could see the worry on his face. “Look the kiss that just happened…” I trailed off looking at him.

“I don’t know Ky…” his hazel eyes were so worried that I was going to get upset and start crying or flounce out of the room.

“If you want it to be nothing then nothing happened Eli, I’m not going to run out of the room crying.” I made an attempt to reassure him as I patted his knee lightly kissing his cheek standing up as I started to dig through my back pack.

“I don’t know if I want it to be nothing. I’m really confused right now Kylie.” He sounded so lost and confused and hurting and I wasn’t sure how I needed to react. I just smiled gently and touched his face.

“Eli, I’m not going anywhere…Well I have to go home before my parents call the police on you and your family for kidnapping me.” I laughed though we both knew that that this situation was a lot more serious then I was making it out to be. I had to go home and tomorrow I’d have to face school with the bruise on my face and I was scared to death but I didn’t need him to worry right now.

“Are you sure you can’t just stay one more night just tonight I’ll take you home tomorrow after school? I mean tomorrows going to be hard enough as it is…” I looked at him though instantly regretted it when his bottom lip poked out and his eyes became big and innocent and he was giving me the infamous Eli pout.

“Eli! Don’t look at me like that!” I whined as I covered my eyes refusing to look at my best friend who I heard letting out a heavy sigh followed by a whimper. “Ok fine! You win. I’ll stay tonight but I have to go home tomorrow!” I sighed as I opened my eyes spotting his grinning face.

“Yay! I win!” He jumped up off his bed before walking over to me and pulling me away from my back pack. His hands lingered in mine for a few moments before he moved them back to his sides. Leaving an awkward tension in the air.

“Eli, if this is what it’s going to be like now that we’ve kissed maybe I should just go home?” I didn’t want to leave but I couldn’t handle things between me and him being weird. I needed him to be the one thing in my life right now that made sense.

“I’m just worried about your feelings Ky…” He started and I covered his mouth before he could continue rolling my eyes.

“Stop. Eli, The kiss was something we both needed to do and it would happen eventually I’m not asking you to stop being my friend and start being my boyfriend I’m asking you to stay the same that you’ve always been. Please?” I slowly pulled my hand away from his mouth so he could response but he just looked at me speechless for a moment.

“Ok you win, I’ll stop acting freaky.” He smiled before patting my shoulder. “Now come on lets go bug my parents for dinner and then afterwards we can work on the English presentation we have for school tomorrow sound good?” I nodded as he yanked on my arm and out of his bed room. There was no denying it after that kiss I was in love with my best friend.