Here's Everything I've Always Meant to Say

Sitting in the ice cream shop was a refreshing change since I’d spent all day being looked at pathetically until I felt like I was going to throw up just to make them stop looking. Eli was sitting across from me a spoon in his ice cream playing with it a little bit looking a little nervous. I was eating my ice cream by the spoonful though it was more sprinkles then ice cream in the dish.

“Eli?” His head snapped up like he’d been thinking about something and I snapped him out of it. I looked at him for a moment as the smile he’d worn early replaced its self on his face. “You ok?”

“I’m perfect Kylie; I’m just thinking that’s all.” He smiled gently as he reached over a napkin in his fingers wiping some ice cream off my face. I blushed and turned my face away slightly but he just shook his head and laughed lightly.

“What are you thinking about?” I cocked my head to the side as I waited for him to answer my question having a feeling that I knew what was going to come next.

“Just…about us…That kiss we shared awhile ago, that time you spent at my house and the feelings I get when I’m with you…” He drew in a deep breath his eyes searching mine before shifting to his hands. “I want; it made me realize that, I want to be with you more than anything else in this world.” I felt my heart swell almost to a breaking point as I looked toward the fragile male sitting across from me.

“Eli, Look at me.” I smiled gently as I reached out taking his hand into mine before giggling “If you’re trying to ask me to be your girlfriend the answer is yes.” The grin on my face was one like no other. I’d waited years for this I’d never thought I’d feel like this about any one much less my best friend.

“Really?” He seemed as shocked as I was that this was really happening. I nodded my head slowly and he reached over touching my cheek gently. “Good I’m so happy you said you would” He spoke softly as he leaned forward gently pressing his lips to mine briefly “I can do a lot more of that now.” He teased.

“I’m looking forward to a whole lot more of that.” I giggled gently as I stood up moving so I was sitting right next to him. I shivered as I set my head on his shoulder because the ice cream shop was, well it was cold (big surprise right-_-).

“Are you cold Hon?” Eli’s arms slowly wound their way around my waist; he pulled me against his body. I instantly snuggled up to his body setting my head against his shoulder.

“Yeah I am. Let’s get out of here and head back to your house…” I suggested. He squirmed for a moment looking around, nodding his head he stood up slowly taking me with him. He seemed hesitant to take me back to his house like something was wrong and he knew it.

“Alright, let’s go.” He smiled gently down at me as he lead me out to his car. I was content, happy even for the first time, even though in only two days I was going to be standing at my mother’s funeral. I didn’t want to think about that, my heart wouldn’t let me.

“I promise I’ll move back into my house after the funeral, I’ll stop taking up room in your guys’ house.” I mumbled as we reached his car fearing that, that was what was wrong with him. Fearing that now that we were official he didn’t want me in the same house with him anymore.

“Beautiful, that’s not it at all.” He laughed gently. “It’s the complete opposite, I want you at my house all the time!” he threw his arms up before gently grabbing my forearms and pulling me closer to him. “I Thought you had already figured it out with slut face giving away the surprise today.” He let out a gentle laugh. “But I guess you really were pretty out of it at lunch huh?” I looked at him confused.

“What are you talking about?” I’m sure my face expressed all the confusion I was feeling at the moment because he just laughed and kissed my forehead.

“Don’t worry about it! You’ll find out tonight after we get back.” He smiled innocently as we climbed into the car and shook his head leaving me in the dark about what the hell was really going on. I glared at him slightly as I got into the car shutting the door and resting against the window.

“OK, But I’m not good with surprises Eli” I pouted my bottom lip out slightly, it was silent on the drive home, no music, no talking, no nothing it was ridiculous and it made me feel on edge. Pulling up to Eli’s house I saw police car in his drive way and my heart sped up and just by glancing toward Eli I could tell it wasn’t planned for that to be here.

“You sure you don’t want to turn around and go to the park?” His lips were pursed and the little vain in his neck was starting to show, the grip he had on the steering wheel had his knuckles turning white. I drew in a deep breath before looking back out the window and shook my head.

“No, you’re parents shouldn’t have to deal with MY problem Eli, it’s not their fault.” I spoke quietly as the car came to a complete stop. I unstrapped and opened my door not waiting for Eli to help me out. I closed the door and looked towards the cop car my heart still beating out of my chest, closing my eyes for a moment I regained my composer and started to walk to the house refusing to look behind me to see if Eli was coming or not.

“I’m coming!” Eli shouted from somewhere behind me, I heard his door slam and the gravel crunching under his feet as he rushed towards me. I felt a soft hand on my back as we reached the front door. I slowly walked into the house still refusing to look anywhere but forward I was scared to death.

“Just who we needed to talk to…” The police officer was old, grey hair with a majorly receding hair line, a caterpillar made of hair on his upper lip, dark musty blue eyes and a beer gut. I swallowed my fear and looked him in the eye my hands in tight fists at my side.

“What’s going on?” My voice came out a lot stronger than I had expected it to. It sounded like I had power like I wasn’t getting ready to turn around and run out of the house in a fit of fear. He seemed surprised that I had actually said something.

“Well, we have your father in custody but you see he’s saying you killed her and tried to kill him and that’s why he took off…” The officer seemed like he didn’t even believe the bullshit that he was spitting.

“That’s why you’re here? Because you think I who was HERE for the past almost two weeks after he punch me so hard in the face that it split my skin under my eye, killed my mother that day?” The venom was dripping from my voice, my heart picked up its pace and I could feel my blood start to boil.

“I’m sorry there’s no evidence linking your father to the scene of the crime and we did find you’re heals with blood on them…and your finger prints, though smudge on the knife that was used to kill her…” I glared before shaking my head the reason my finger prints were on the blade was because I’d used that knife to cut.

“So you are assuming I did it!? You saw me the first day I FOUND her body you sick bastard!” I screeched as I simply started to lose it my hands started shaking “I’ve been HERE I had NO time to kill her. You wanna know why my finger prints were on the god damn blade?!” I couldn’t even feel Eli’s hands on my waist trying to help calm me down.

“Well, you’re legal guardians are trying to explain to me that you’ve been here and they have pictures of the abuse he caused you, but yes I would like to know why your prints are on the blade…” He seemed insecure of himself now. CeCe quickly stood up and looked at me.

“You don’t have to show him anything, we’ll get the best damn lawyer around.” She spat quickly. I was too angry to realize he’d called CeCe and bullfrog my legal guardians.

“No! You know why?! This is why! I used it to do this!” I ripped the hoodie I had been wearing off my body revealing all the scars and still healing cuts on my arms “AND THIS!” I screamed as I pulled my shirt from my body revealing the largest scar of them all. It was a thin line from one hip to the other all the way across, no one had ever seen it before. It was a night where I’d heard my parents screaming and my father had hit my mother one night blaming me.

“Oh my god…” Cece’s voice told me she was welling up with tears as I stood there in my bra tears starting to spill out of my eyes and down my flushed red cheeks. My anger was boiling over and the pain I was in emotionally was so much I could hurt the first person that got near me.

“Are you happy now?!” I heard Eli from somewhere behind me. His voice was almost demonic, he was angrier then I’d ever heard him before. I could literally feel the venom dripping off his words. “You’ve caught a suicidal teenager THAT’S ALL YOU’VE CAUGHT” Eli raised his voice and CeCe cringed as Bull frog quickly got up walking over to his son and setting his hand on his shoulder.

“It’s ok Eli, We aren’t going to let him accuse her of murder we all know where she was, we all know she’s innocent and we all know he did it. I won’t let them take her away from you.” He assured his steaming son. The officer still seemed in shock as he looked at me drawing in a deep breath he looked more and more uncomfortable by the second.

“Well, I can see why your finger prints were smudged and on the blade…” He trailed off looking at what he probably thought was a pretty scary looking family. I shook as I stood their my whole body shaking not only from the fact it was c old and the door was still cracked but the fact that I was so angry so hurt.

“Yes, now that you have come in our home and RUINED the night for us I would like you to get the hell out, I will come down to the station tomorrow with the pictures of the injuries he caused her.” Bullfrog growled. Now I’d never heard or seen him angry but his face was red and I knew he was only being level headed because both Eli and I had lost ours.

“Yes sir, We are keeping your father in custody charged with murder, We’ll need your help with the case.” He spoke weakly as he made his way past the four of us and nearly ran out of the house back to his patrol car.