We've Got It All Figured Out... For Now

A few minutes after Keegan had left, Josh came hurrying into my room. I looked into his eyes and I saw tears freely flowing. He came over and sat on the bed and put his hand on my cheek.

“How are you honey?” He softly asked.

“How’s Emma?” I questioned back, not caring about my state right now.

“She’s,” he started but then broke down in tears. “She doesn’t look very good. She has cuts all over and machines hooked up and it’s all my fault.”

“None of this is your fault,” I replied.

“Yes it is, all of it is my fault. I should have just let you drive, then at least you wouldn’t be hurt,” Josh stated while he took his other hand and ran a hand through my hair.

“How would I not be hurt?” I questioned him.

“Because the other car hit the passenger side and now I hurt the two most important people in my life,” He croaked through tears.

“Honey, it’s not your fault. If I was driving the same thing would have happened, that car still would have been there,” I reassured him.

“But if I didn’t argue with you about it then we wouldn’t have been there at that time,” Josh sighed.

“Josh, you can’t live in the ‘what if’s’ I don’t want Emma to be hurt either but we can’t do anything about it,” I said with my own tears.

“I hate her being in the ICU. It just sounds so awful,” He went on. “But… she’s a strong little girl, she’s going to be okay,” he said, trying to reassure both of us.

“Yeah, maybe she can get moved in with me soon,” I tried to smile.

“How are you sweetie? Are you in pain?” Josh asked while stroking my cheek with his thumb.

“My ribs hurt. Keegan said on the board the doctor wrote some are broken…” I trailed off. “What about… the baby?”

“It’ll be okay honey,” He soothed me while climbing onto the bed and held me as I cried.

I laid my head on his chest as his arms came around me and held me gently.

“I don’t want anything to happen to our baby,” I bawled.

“I don’t either sweetheart but it’ll be okay. If something does happen, we’ll just try again, I don’t mine,” He smiled, making mine spread across my face too.

“I love you,” I told him.

“I love you too baby,” Josh said while kissing the top of my head. “I wish I could make this all better.”

“Just you being here helps,” I weakly smiled up at him.

“Anything I can do, just tell me,” He went on.

“What exactly happened to Emma? What’s wrong?” I asked him while lacing our fingers together.

“I don’t know exactly. I spent more time yelling at the people to be careful with her,” He stated with a small smile.

“Does she have anything broken?” I went on to question.

“I’m really not sure. I hope not,” He sighed while running his hand through his spikey hair that was completely matted down and going every which way.

“I hate seeing you upset,” I sighed while wiping the remnants of tears away from his cheeks.

“I’m sorry I can’t be stronger for you,” He apologized.

“Don’t be honey. This is hard and I don’t want you to be ashamed; I think it’s kinda cute anyway,” I told him, trying to cheer him up a little.

“One good thing is when you two get home, I get to take care of my girls,” Josh smiled while planting a kiss on the top of my head.

“Josh, I have to stop talking now, it hurts too much,” I pouted.

“I’m sorry sweetie,” He replied. “Why don’t you go to sleep.”

“Are you going to leave?” I asked.

“Of course not. Kylee, Todd and Keegan are all with Emma; she’ll be okay,” Josh reassured while stroking my hair. “You just rest now.”

I nodded my head and cuddled into him more as much as I could without hurting myself. I felt Josh run his fingertips gently over the cuts I had on my arm and face but then he gently kissed all of them too. Even though I was laying on his chest with my eyes closed, a smile fought its way across my lips.

I hope everything is going to turn out okay. I want Emma to be alright as well as our unborn baby. I’m actually worried about Josh too; I know he feels bad even though it’s not his fault. I don’t want him to worry too much. I just want my babies to be alright.