We've Got It All Figured Out... For Now

Today I had to go to work again. Yesterday Kylee was absolutely buzzing when she came into my office at lunch. I’m still upset over Kylee not telling me, I know I probably shouldn’t be but I am so when she wanted to have lunch with me I turned her down. Just then my phone rang, breaking me out of my reverie.

“Hey baby,” Josh’s voice smiled.

“Hi honey,” I replied.

“I have bad news. I can’t come to lunch again. I’m so sorry sweetheart but my physical therapist really wanted to get another session in today. I’m really sorry,” He said.

“That’s alright Joshie, I understand. I want your shoulder to be better,” I cooed.

“Okay, I’ll see you when you get home,” He went on. “I love you Kirstie.”

“I love you too Josh,” I told him before hanging up.

I let out a sigh while hanging up my phone. I worked for a while longer until a very happy Kylee busted into my office at lunch.

“Kirstie!” She shouted.

“Hey,” I softly greeted her.

“Where’s Josh?” Ky asked.

“He’s… not coming for lunch today,” I explained.

“He didn’t come yesterday either,” She went on while eyeing me oddly.

“Yeah he couldn’t make it,” I said plainly.

“Are you two… doing alright?” Ky asked me.

“Yeah we’re fine,” I told her.

“You haven’t seemed alright the past few days,” Kylee gently said to me. “Are you sure you’re okay? I can go beat down Josh if you want.”

“Really, we’re fine,” I persisted.

“You and the kids can come stay with us if you need to,” She continued.

“Ky, seriously, we’re fine. Josh and I are fine,” I snapped, losing my temper a little.

“Kirstie, I’m your best friend, you can tell me anything,” She went on. “We’re best friends, we can talk to each other.”

”THEN WHY COULDN’T YOU TELL ME THAT YOU WERE GETTING MARRIED!?” I shouted, hurt plaguing my voice.

“…Well I, I, just didn’t want any fuss over it. It was just Tanner and I,” She explained.

“You could have at least told me!” My voice cracked as tears built in my eyes.

“I didn’t think it would matter that much to you,” Kylee whispered.

“Kylee, we’re best friends. I care about you so much. When Josh proposed to me you were the first person I told, the first! and it just hurt me that you couldn’t tell me something like this. I’ve been your best friend since high school, we’ve gone through the hardest parts of each other’s lives together and the good and I just…” I trailed off. “Never mind Ky.”

I grabbed my car keys and left but Kylee didn’t do anything to try to stop me. All I wanted right now was Josh. I didn’t mean for all of that to come out with Kylee it just… did.

“Josh,” My voice crackled as I walked through the door.

Josh was laying on the ground, and there were some weights that he was doing some physical therapy with along with his therapist.

“Hey Mark, I think we should finish this session up a different day,” Josh said once he saw me.

“Okay, I’ll see you later,” Mark said while gathering up his stuff, sending me a small smile then leaving.

“Where are the kids?” I asked once the door closed.

“My dad has them,” He told me. “Come here honey, let me hold you.”

“Won’t I hurt your shoulder?” I sniffled.

“I’m fine, I’m not worried about that now,” Josh sweetly said while pulling me onto his lap and wrapped his arms around me tightly while he rocked me back and forth as I cried.

“I feel awful. I blew up on Kylee when she asked me what was wrong,” I cried heavily. “I’m such a horrible friend.”

“No you’re not baby, I’m sure she’ll understand,” He cooed.

“But I’m sure I hurt her feelings,” I bawled.

“You’re so sensitive and sweet,” Josh smiled at me. “Kylee will be fine. I’m just worried about you, I want you to feel alright.”

“I’m just so confused,” I sobbed. “I don’t know what to feel. I’m sorry you have to deal with me being so emotional right now.”

“Don’t be sorry, I love you and if you want to vent to me then just vent, I’m here to listen,” He sent me a little smile. “Kirstie, if you just want to cry, I’ll hold you and comfort you.”

“Thank you,” I choked out while hugging onto him. “I just want you to be here, that makes me feel better.”

“I’m not going anywhere,” Josh softly soothed.

I’m so confused. All my emotions are just in a jumble right now, I don’t even know what to feel.