We've Got It All Figured Out... For Now

When I got home that day after work, no one was home. I sighed and walked up to Tanner and I’s room. Before I laid in the bed, I slid my heels off and just collapsed. Everything I thought I did right a little over a week ago… seemed so wrong.

I don’t regret it by any means. I love Tanner to pieces and I’m so glad I’m married to him. But since Kirstie’s little out burst, I feel like… we should have had a regular wedding. All of my ‘what if’ thinking was coming back to me… and it was driving me insane! I wanted Tanner here… but he’s gone… doing I don’t even know what.

About an hour after I came home, I heard footsteps climbing up the stairs before the door to the room opened gently. I didn’t bother rolling over. I felt so horrible right now that I think my body started aching.

“Baby, you ok?” Tanner asked softly with his footsteps growing closer.

“I messed up,” I cringed from how much my voice cracked.

“Aw, sweetheart what happened?” he went on to coo while lying next to me, tightly hooking his arms around my middle.

“Kirstie’s mad… because I didn’t tell her that we were getting married in Vegas,” I got out through my stream of tears.

“Aw, babe,” he said gently while brushing the hair out of my face that was slightly damp from my tears.

“It’s not like I intentionally wanted to get married to you so that we wouldn’t tell anyone and it be this huge secret. It just… happened,” I went on.

“Maybe she just doesn’t understand that,” he spoke softly, wiping his thumb under my eyes.

“But I don’t see the big deal! No one was there but us! It’s not like I wanted to leave my best friend out,” I snapped, having anger come over me now.

“Everything’s going to be fine. Both of you are just really upset right now. You need to chill out,” he said through a small chuckle.

“I already had a big wedding though. I don’t need this huge thing with you. What we did was just right for us… and no understands that… and it’s frustrating!” I kept going.

“This is why you need to calm down and explain that to everyone,” he replied, keeping his temper under control way better than I was. But his best friend didn’t just snap on him!

“Are you happy with what we did?” he asked after I took in a few deep breaths.

“Yeah. Of course. I love you,” I told him like he was crazy. I wouldn’t have done it if I wasn’t going to be happy, Tanner!

“Well, you’re not showing it right now and it is just bumming me out,” he grinned, making my smile push its way through as well.

“You always make me happy when I get upset,” I sighed as I hugged up to him.

“I’m your hubby now. It’s what I’m supposed to do… til death do us part, baby,” he smiled, holding onto me tightly.

“I love you,” I sighed happily, relaxing into his chest.

“I love you too… especially when you smile,” he went on, pinching my cheeks gently to bring my smile back over me.

“Where’s my babies?” I asked, sitting up once I contained myself.

“I believe they went in their rooms,” he countered as we both got to our feet.

I smiled again before I started down the hall to Jayden’s room since it was closer. I peaked in to find him playing with his little dirt bike toys. He looked back at me and his whole face lit up. Seconds later, he was wrapping his arms around me tightly. Aw, my baby.

“What’d you guys do today?” I asked, carrying him down the hall to Mason’s room.

“We went drifting!” he replied excitedly.

“You did not take them around the track,” I shot at Tanner just as we were out front of Mason’s door.

“Not yet,” he smiled brightly.

“You’re going to get it, Tanny,” I told him, sending him a little playful glare.

“I’m so scared,” he replied in his little nerdy goofy voice.

“He better be,” I told Jayden, making him giggle.

“Mommy!” I heard Mason say just before he opened his door. “Missed you,” he went on before hugging onto my legs.

“Aw, I missed you too, baby. Did you have fun with daddy today? Jayden said you guys went drifting,” I smiled as we all went downstairs.

“Yeah! It was epic!” he countered smiling just like Tanner.

“Someone learned a new word,” I smiled back at Tanner. He always says epic… it’s cute.

“Jayden learned one too. Tell mommy what kind of car we get to drive tomorrow, Jay,” Tanner grinned at him.

“Ferrawi!” Jayden squealed.

“Oh my gosh, mommy’s dying from cuteness overload right now,” I teased as we all fell onto the couch.

All of the boys giggled before they all went on about stories of their day. I loved hearing this. But in the back of my mind was my day. Kirstie and I have never blown up at each other like this. I know she’s mad that I didn’t involved her, but… no one was really involved… and I thought by coming home and telling everyone, it would be a great surprise. But… I guess not. I just hope we can work through this… eventually.