Aim High, Never Rest

The photo shoot went over better than I thought. I already expected great things from the shoot, but whatever happened was even better.

This was the first shoot that included other people other than me. Sometimes it’s refreshing to be away from the center of the attention. I am part of the pictures taken but I share the shots with my buddies, excluding Maxine, of course.

My friends are all with me, making this photo shoot one of the best.

Today, the day after Chloe Mitchell’s day 1 photo shoot, I decided to spend this free day with my family. It is rare occasions like today where I actually have time for family, even though they are so unbearable most of the time.

I got out of bed and went to the bathroom to get cleaned up. However, on my way to the room adjacent to mine, Cassie bumped into me most purposely. She glared at me but let me walk inside the bathroom nonetheless. I shot her a worried look but she ignored me, prompting me to shut the door in her face.

I beat her to the bathroom and it is a first-timer.

While Cassie waited outside, I finished my morning routine and stared at myself in the mirror. My skin is still glowing from the good times during the previous day and my lips are curled in a permanent smile just thinking about the extra time I got to spend with Carlos at the shoot.

“Hannah, just because you are a superstar, doesn’t mean you can hog the bathroom all day,” Cassie’s irritation was apparent.

“Sorry Cassie” I apologized.

Something is up with her. Cassie is not as confident around me as she used to be. That is obvious.

I turned away from my reflection in the mirror and left the bathroom. When I opened the door, Cassie brushed past me to enter. But before she could close the door on me, I stuck my foot inside and forced the door open again. She gave me an impatient look but I decided that I need to speak with her.

“What do you want, superstar?”

Cassie is annoyed and jealous.

“I want to talk” I said.

“What can we possibly talk about, Hannah?” she bitterly muttered out my name.

“I know that you never liked me much” I started, sighing loudly.

She rolled her eyes, throwing her wavy blonde hair back.

“Ya think?” came out her sarcastic reply.

I nodded wordlessly.

“Look, are you angry of my career?” I asked.

“Of course not! I’m just wondering, what is the world thinking, allowing you to become a model?”

“You don’t really think that, do you?” I asked, hurt.

I should be deserving of becoming a model, right? My appearance is appropriate enough to become the face of a franchise.

Cassie is the only one who thinks otherwise, right?

I sound uncertain of myself.

“Why is it that you get an opportunity and I don’t? Before Hollywood, you don’t even give a crap about my modeling career. The modeling industry was the least of your interest! You even thought that my aspiring dream was silly. Now you are the one with the opportunity. What is with that?”

So I was right, Cassie is jealous. And I feel mighty bad.

She might have been taunting me my whole life, knocking out my self-esteem, but she is still my sister. This model career means a lot to her, even if I sometimes think that she doesn’t deserve it. She worked hard to convince our parents to move to Hollywood. She deserves this even more than I do. For that, I am sorry.

“You didn’t try hard enough, Cass” I finally said.

Cassie’s expression hardened.

“I tried my absolute best!” she replied defiantly.

“If you really want this, you have to push harder”

“I tried and I’m tired, Hannah”

I have never seen her act so helplessly in my whole entire life. This aspiring career is not silly at all, despite what I thought of it in the past, especially when we just moved to Palm Woods. She may be a bitch but this dream should come true for her.

Maxine is a complete bitch and she already got a record deal. Maxine is a bitch but she is a hardworking bitch. I believe my sister can meet success through hard work as well.

“Cassie, if I pull some strings for you I might be able to get you a shoot. You really need to nail this first time if you want agents to sign you, okay? Would you accept my help?” I asked, folding my arms across my chest.

My sister bit her lips, contemplating. Her eyes softened now, staring at me with an expression that I needed to get used to. She has never ever looked at me with a genuine smile and I love the feeling.

I am more than willing to help her.

“Thank you, Hannah”

“You are my sister and I want to help, no matter what, okay?”

She pulled me into an immediate hug.

“I’m so sorry for belittling you. I’m sorry for badmouthing you and shooting you down. They are a self-esteem booster for me and I no longer wish to bring you down anymore. You have gotten your model status so far already and I got nothing, so don’t ever feel the need to take my insults seriously” she said in our embrace.

It is so refreshing to hear that from Cassie. Cassie is the one who proved to me that I do not meet the society’s standards. She was the one who brought attention on my weight and I second-guessed myself when my first modeling gig kicked off.

Now I feel a lot better.

All the pain isn’t just going to magically disappear, but the sense of encouragement and comfort from Cassie’s comment can be a great place to start.

I still need to watch what I eat and how much I weigh. And then everything will be just fine.

I released Cassie and left her in the bathroom to do her business.

When I entered my room, I picked up my phone to check that I have two text messages.

From Carlos:
Good morning, beautiful! I was eating corndogs with the guys and immediately thought of you. Wish you were here with us now! Come hang at the pool today if you have time.

I smiled at the message, internally pleading with myself to ditch the family hangout time I’ve planned so I can go spend time with my boyfriend. He is too cute and too good to be true. Just picturing him at the pool without me is too tempting.

From Kandi:
I had fun at the shoot yesterday! Looking forward for day 2 photoshoot.
P.S: I was wondering if you would like to have lunch with me at the French restaurant down Rodeo Drive. Text me back whenever you can. I was thinking about 12 sharp.

I hesitated. As much as I love and appreciate Kandi’s company, I am hesitant. I am reminded of our time at the pizza place with Logan and Carlos. She was the one who noticed my nasty habits of avoiding greasy food. I know she would never judge me but I still feel ashamed and embarrassed about it.

If I dine with her again, will she watch me with precaution? Maybe things will turn out awkwardly if she notices me avoid certain food items. She might think I think lowly of myself, even if that is true.

She probably thinks I have an eating disorder already.

So why would she want to eat lunch with me?

I decided to return her message immediately.

To Kandi:
I’m sorry, can’t today. First break day this week, gotta spend time with family. Thank you for offering though.

I hope she doesn’t hate me after this.