Killing Loneliness

“Bam! I swear to God I'm going to kill you!!” Bam and I both jumped awake, wrapping the blankets and sheets around us. When my eyes finally focused to see who was standing at the end of the bed, I chocked on my breath and grabbed Bam's arm. Kat stood there with her hands on her hips, with a look of attitude on her face.
“I told you to stay away from her!” Kat picked up something from the dresser and threw it at Bam, hitting him in the face.
“Kat! Calm down!” Bam got up and pulled his pants on that were on the floor. He took a few steps towards her but It looked like she was going to punch him so he backed off. “Kat we didn't do anything, we went out for dinner and then we came back here. Theres nothing wrong with that,” Bam picked up a shirt from the floor and slid it on.
“Really?” Kat crossed her arms over her chest and turned to me with a look of anger. “Cause she's not wearing anything and that sure doesn't prove your case of not doing anything,” I leant over the bed and picked up my scattered clothes. I tried to pull my pants on discreetly, but I stumbbled making Kat look over at me, while glaring at me.
“Don't think you're not gonna get yelled at!” She took a few steps closer to me, but Bam threw a shirt to me to put on. I put it on quickly, to distract her and looked over to Bam. He looked as lost as I did.
“Kat,” I figured it was my turn now to speak out and try to calm her down. “Nothing happened. Something was but then Bam stopped, knowing that I wasn't ready,” I looked over at Bam whose eyes sparkled when I mentioned how sweet he was. I looked back at Kat who was looking back and forth between us with a serious look on her face.
“Even if that's true, I left you guys alone for 24 hours and this is what you do? “ She shook her head and walked out of the room. I waited til she was out of the room til I rounded the bed myself and stood inches from Bam.
“What are we going to do?” I whispsed up, knowing that Kat wasn't that far. He shook his head as he ran his fingers threw his hair nervously.
“She's really pissed,” Bam wrapped his arms around me, and pulled my close to my chest. I wanted to resist knowing that this wasn't the best time for this, but it felt so right and nice. “We should go talk to her together,” He whispered in my ear, and I nodded slowly, thinking of what we were going to have to say to her.
Bam pulled away slowly and kissed me lightly on the lips. Chills ran threw my body again. I took his hand, and laced my fingers with his. I followed Bam as he walked out of his room and into one of the guest rooms that Kat was supposed to stay in. She didn't have her suit case with her, just her purse. I guessed that meant that she was still going to be staying in town instead of with us.
“I came all the way back out here for us to do something today, even got the guys together for you Bam and you do this?” Kat didn't look up at us when we walked in the room but she knew it was us once we were in there.
“Kat,” Bam took a few steps farther in the room, pulling me behind him. “I know your mad, and thats incredibly amazing that you did this for me. Really, you're one of my bestfriends. But don't you want me to be happy?” Bam's voice was now as serious as Kats, and I was starting to get worried about what was going to be said.
“Of course I want you to be happy, why else would I make sure that everyone was here! Even that people flew in from other states!” Kat threw her phone on the bed and stood up. There were tears starting at the corners of her eyes as she looked back and forth between him and I. “Bam you barely know her! For all I know you might just want to sleep with her! It's not like shes anything special,” I felt like I had been hit in the chest. Was that all I was worth?
“Did you really just say that? Kat I know this is not you talking. But I can't control my feelings if someone makes me happy and Ashleigh does,” Bam squeezed my hand, as he stood up for me. I could feel more tears welling on the edges of my eyes.
“I just think that there are better people out there for you Bam,” Her eyes looked at our joined hands and a look of disgust came on her face. I squeezed Bams hand lightly back and let go, I couldn't handle being in this room anymore.
“Ashleigh wait, where are you going,”
“I can't be in here,” I tried not to let Bam see the tears that were running down my cheeks, but I knew he saw them. He stopped and quietly nodded. He turned back around to Kat and I ran for my room. By the time I got to my room, my tears were running faster then before and sobs were starting to break in and out of my chest. I tried to stop crying, to listen to hear what they were saying.
“Kat, I can't believe you're doing this to her. You have called her your bestfriend since you guys met however long ago that was-”
“Maybe I just don't give a shit anymore Bam. Hmm? How about that?” It was easy to hear in her voice that she was crying now. I had never seen Kat act like this before and it scared me.
“Have you been drinking?” I could hear footsteps and then footsteps that fell backwards. “Kat, don't leave here until your sober. I can't believe you did this. You hurt Ash and I both wih this whole sheraid. Sleep it off and then we can maybe talk,” I heard her door shut and then Bams paces towards my guest room. He stopped in the door way and looked over at me. I was curled in a ball, laying on my side.
“I don't know how this happened, she never has relapsed before....” He sighed and came in and sat down next to me. He ran his hand up the back of my shirt, well technically his, and started to rubb my back lightly. I smiled and pulled him closer. I thought over what he had said in there to Kat. Did I really make him happy? Fill his void?
He did that for me, but to think that I was making Bam Margera feel good was something that could never happened. Bam was curled up behind me, with his arm around my waist and his head just on my shoulder.
“Are you ok?' He whispered into my ear. I wasn't sure what to say to him. I turned around so I was facing him this time.
“I.. I think i'm fine. But there's something that you said in there, that i want to ask you about,” I tried to hide from his look even thought I was facing him.
“And what was that?” I looked up into Bam's eyes, knowing my whole body was trembling with electricity since he was so close to me.
“Did you really mean what you said about how I make you happy?” I asked my question in just a whisper and then tried to hide my face under his arm. Bam laughed as I tried to hide, glad he thought my embarassment was funny. I laughed a nervious laugh and looked back up at him.
“Of course I meant what I said. I haven't been this happy in a long time, Missy just... drained me from it and well you bring life a whole new light. I dont know what I would have done if I hadn't met you when i did,” Bam's voice was sincere as he twisted his finger into my hair. I staired back into Bam's eyes, my mind was blank and I couldn't think of anything to say back to him.
His face was serious and then leant in and kissed me gently. I could have laid there all day with just his lips and mine. But the kiss didn't last long til we heard crashing downstairs and then loud laughing. Bam pulled away and laughed.
“Guess the guys are here!” Bam had an excited look on his face, it made me think that he hadn't seen anyone really for a while. He leapt up and grabbed my hand. “Come on! I want you to meet the guys,” He tugged my hand but I stood in my spot, looking down at what I was wearing.
“Bam, I gotta have a shower. Then I'll come down ok?” I tugged his hand this time and he came close to me, wrapping his arms around my waist. Was it just me or was this whole thing with Bam going quicker then I expected. I shoved the thought to the back of my mind and kissed him on the cheek quickly. “Go have fun, and I'll be down in half an hour or so!” I smiled at him while I gave him one last kiss on the cheek and walked over to dresser with my things.
Before he left the room he came up behind me and wrapped his arm around my waist and whispered in my ear how later we were going to move my stuff into his room since he had a feeling someone was going to need it. I smiled and nodded. He clicked the door shut behind him, and that was when I started to run around like a crazy person. I was throwing things from the drawers and the suit case, trying to find the right thing to wear. I needed something sexy but still super casual. I figured jeans and a tshirt, that can be sexy right?
I picked up my outfit, along with clean underwear and bra and made my way into the bathroom that was attached to my room. The hot water felt amazing, but only 5 minutes into my shower somebody turned the hot water on, leaving me with only cold water. I screamed and figured it was probably from who ever was all downstairs. Bam must have told them that he had me upstairs. With this incentive, I finished my shower even faster then normal and got dressed. I left my hair down in wet curls, once it was sorta dry I'd just come back upstairs and straighten it. I did just the basic make up, a little eyeliner and mascara and that was it.
Once I was ready, I looked my self over in the mirror. The tight fitting HIM shirt that I was wearing looked perfect and the jeans matched it in the same black shade. I smiled one last time and made my way out of the room. I thought as I made my way down the stairs of who was all going to be there. The guys from Jackass? Viva la bam? Anxiety built in my chest as I desended the last few steps.