Hold on Tight and Don't Look Back

I slowly trailed behind Mikey, making my way into the bus that was to be my home for the next few months, or at least a couple of weeks. Climbing up the three small stairs signified my entry into my new life, with the four greatest guys on the planet. I couldn’t believe my eyes, this was probably one of the nicest busses I had ever seen. And trust me, I’ve seen a lot. My mom and I used to travel a lot when I was younger, we’d get a new bus for every trip just because we could. I’d have a new bunk every time, but the fun wore off after a while, they never felt like home, they were cold, unknown territory, and I didn’t like it. But this is different, it already feels like home to me. It’s possible it’s just because guys are messy, and the bus is certainly no exception, but whatever the reason, I love it.

I was still standing in the entry way taking it all in. To my right there’s a leather couch that looks just like heaven. You know, the kind where you sit down and never want to get back up? Yeah, it looks just like that, except better. On the wall behind the arm of the couch there’s a flat screen television, fully equipped with every video game system you could ever imagine I should have known, I really should have known. After all, what else are four guys expected to do on the road for hours on end? On my left there is a diner style kitchen table, and the cutest kitchen I have ever seen. The cabinets are white, just like in the old time farmhouses. They certainly don’t match the rest of the interior of the bus, but they add tons of charm.

“Come on, Lex, let’s get your stuff on your bunk,” Mikey smiled at me.

I followed him down the small hallway like a puppy follows its master. It was funny, really, the way my eyes were open wide and I was smiling. I put my hand on Mikey’s shoulder to stop him from walking any farther. His face slowly turned to me, and I could see the gigantic smirk that was plastered against his pale white skin.

“Thank you, for all of this. It means a lot to me, being able to go out on the road with you guys. I’ve had a tough time recently, with everything that’s been going on,” I threw my arms around him in a tight embrace. I don’t know why, but I just couldn’t help myself.

“You’re welcome,” his arms began to pull be in. “We all needed this, too. We’ve needed a new friend for a long time now, someone just like you. To be honest, it gets kind of lonely out here on the road, even if there are four of us,” I could sense his smile.

“I’m glad I could help.”

I stayed there in his arms, hoping I would never have to let go. For the first time since I’ve lost my father, I feel safe in man’s arms. I feel like nothing can hurt me, nothing can take me away from the security of this place.

“See that bunk right there, with the pink zebra print cover? That’s yours,” he smiled. “And see that one right above it? That’s mine. I’ll always be right here if you need me.”

“I’ll always be right here if you need me.” Those nine words stuck in my head. To the average girl, they probably wouldn’t mean anything more than hearing those words from her father. But, to me, those words were the world. Someone finally cared enough about me to let me know they’d be here for me whenever I needed them, no matter what. Even though he didn’t say it, I could tell that if I needed him a three in the morning because I was freaking out about a storm, he’d be there.

“You weren’t kidding when you said you got me a bed set to match mine at home.” I teased Mikey.

It really was the perfect bed set, they even got the accent pillows, and they hung up a picture of my mom, dad, and I when I was just a little girl. How thoughtful. How did these guys end up so different from the majority of the world’s idiot boy population, honestly?

“Why would I kid you, that wouldn’t be a nice thing to do,” Mikey laughed. “Let’s get you unpacked, at least a little. If I recall, we have some sightseeing to do today, don’t we?”

I smiled up at Mikey. He was right, I did tell them I’d show them around, and that is what I intend to do. I would never lie to the Ways, intentionally.

Mikey gathered up the boxes of clothes and quickly hung them up in the closet while I unpacked my personal belongings and placed them in the cubbyhole that accompanied my bunk. I sat my teddy bear, Winston, on my bed. I was half tempted to put him in my purse and carry him with us, I couldn’t live with myself if anything happened to him, I just couldn’t.

Mikey made his way back from some hidden compartment being passed as a closet.

“We can finish later, let’s go show this town what we’re made of,” He laughed.

*********

“See this little store here, Vintage Vinyl; it’s a store full of old records, and CDs. It’s one of my favorite places,” I smiled whilst pointing it out to the group.

“Let’s go, let’s go, let’s go!” Frank said, practically pushing us through the doors.

“This is like heaven,” Gerard was smiling at me. “How did you ever find this place? It’ so magical I’d like t keep it all to myself!”

“I don’t know, I was just roaming around one day and ended up spending hours in here,” I laughed.

“We need to keep you around more often,” he laughed back.

We spent the next hour or so going through countless records, movies, and tapes pretending to be living in a flashback. Every so often one of us would find the most off the wall movie ever, and make guesses as to what kind of ridiculous things would happen in the film. We didn’t buy any, although I’m not sure why. It doesn’t matter, I knew we’d be coming back here soon enough, if you could see the look in Gerard’s eyes, you’d understand. He’d found his new home.

“Guys, I’m hungry. Can we go get some food?!” Frank whined.

“Yes, Frankie, we can go. Just calm down,” Ray smiled.

“Where’s a good place to go?” Mikey asked me as he grabbed my hand, pulling it in close to his warm body. It felt nice, the wind was howling and it was snowing. It’s a beautiful sight, really, if you can get past the numbness.

“ Dude, could you like knock it off? You’re not dating her, and frankly, I don’t care to see that, Mikey,” Gerard seemed cranky.

“What’s got your panties in a bunch?” Mikey snapped back.

“I think I’m just sick of this cold. I don’t know, I’m sorry I snapped at you.”

Mikey and Gerard fighting was the perfect opportunity for me to reach down and form a nice, compact snowball without anyone noticing. Frank and Ray were too busy trying to calm the brothers down.

“It’s okay Gerard, I’ll forgive you for snapping at Mikey, just this once,” I was smirking now; I could feel my nerves tightening. I wound my arm up, released my grip, and watched the snowball go flying and hit Gerard right in the face.

“Good aim, for a girl,” Ray chuckled. “But, I think I can do better!”

Next thing I knew, snowballs were flying left and right, I couldn’t even keep track of who was throwing them anymore. It was entirely too cold for this, I couldn’t feel my fingers anymore, but I didn’t mind. I was having fun, more fun than I’ve had in quite some time.

*********

The road was rushing by outside as we drove down the highway towards our destination. We were headed to Chicago for one the guys’ last shows on the tour. The trees and signs all seemed to blend together with the road as we drove. It was a pretty sight; it looked like something a child would create with water paints, simple yet beautiful. The bare trees with snow laden branches looked like a still, ice covered lake waiting for the first skater to take his turn.

I had spent so long gazing out the window I had almost forgotten I was holding my guitar in my hand. I don’t even remember what I was playing, and I’m pretty sure I forgot where I was for a moment, because, when I looked down from the windows that frame the outside world I was not expecting to see my four idols sitting on the ground in front of me waiting for me to play them a song.