Until the End

I took a deep breath as I looked at the tray that was attached to the hospital bed that I had moved in front of me. On it sat a single paper and the trusty pen I had kept for a year now. The top was adored with a Hello Kitty head. I smiled at the familiarity of the pen, the present my younger, baby brother had given me for my birthday last year. I picked it up and took a deep breath.

Dear the group presentably known as Avenged Sevenfold,

I bite my lip out of habit at this. Wasn’t that a bit too formal? Maybe they’d laugh at me for my use of ‘presentably known’. It wasn’t my fault when I wrote letters to people I didn’t know - well, not personally - I wrote a bit formally. I finally pushed away the thoughts and continued writing in my clean, clear, and still sixteen year old looking print.

I really don’t know if you’ll even get this letter to be honest. I just found the mailing address for your fan mail and decided to give it a shot. In my mind I’ll at least pretend you read this and maybe you actually get touched. Maybe one day this will become one of those tragic stories that you share. Sorry, let me start over before I keep rambling and sounding like a depressed attention grabber.

My name is Hayden Fraser. I’m only eighteen years old, but it doesn’t stop me from feeling twelve. My whole point of writing this letter is to let you know how much you’ve changed my life in the time I’ve had.

I’ve listened to you guys since your demo. My friend lived right in Huntington, myself only a few minutes away. Six years I’ve been a strong fan and I just want to thank you. You’ve successfully got me to learn guitar, bass, and drums, extended work on with my vocals, and you’ve saved me from falling into a deep pit of depression multiple times. I was enjoying to look forward to your new CD, whenever that comes out, but I’ve been informed I won’t last.

Maybe I should explain a tad? I was diagnosed with a disease that even the best doctors aren’t sure what it is. It’s slowly going to destroy my vital organs, killing me from the inside out. Sounds a bit gory I realize. I usually can’t feel anything, as if I’m not dying. My doctor noticed that it’s getting worse. So worse in fact that he only gives me nine months tops. I guess within those nine months I just wanted to clear the air and express my gratefulness to those who I seem fit to get it.

You five included.

I paused, wiping away tears. I chuckled softly at myself for getting so worked up over this letter. It wasn’t going to really be given to them, I told myself. The likeliness of it happening was very slim. Slimmer than actually finding a cure for this blasted sickness. I felt a shudder dance down my spine before a shook my head again.

I guess I should just end this seeing as how I have nothing else that could possibly mean much to you. I just want to thank you for everything you’ve done to help me, even though you don’t know you did it. Maybe one day I’ll see you guys on the tour before I pass. Or maybe even just in the afterlife, whatever that is. At least I have something to look forward to.

Sincerely,
Hayden Lee.

I placed down my pen, now feeling a sense of closure with my words. I folded the paper in half, then in half again. I grabbed the envelope on the small table next to my bed, slipping the notebook sheet inside it. I licked it shut and closed the envelope with a finality. I thought about tossing it out, but told myself no. That closure would reopen and I would have to write the letter all over again.

I flipped it over to examine the front of the blue envelope. I read over the information and nodded when I knew it was all correct. I smiled to myself at the deathbat stamp in the top right corner of the paper. To say I was an obsessive fan was an understatement. I had everything I owned designed to them. My phone cover, my iPod cover, my house key, my bags, everything. I laughed at myself before pushing away the tray.

I climbed out of bed, fully dressed in my jeans, converse, and Vengeance University hoodie over my tank. I slipped the letter into the big pocket across my stomach as I grabbed my keys, phone, and cigarettes off the counter across the room. I know, with a organ eating disease I shouldn’t smoke. Doc told me it wouldn’t speed anything up and besides, I’d been hooked since I was fifteen.

“Leaving already Hayden?” I looked up when I was slipping my pack into my hoodie pocket. My doctor, Dr. Gracie, was standing in the doorway.

“I really wanna get out already. You guys are done with all the tests, right?” I had been called in for my monthly check up, making sure things were still normal. Well, as normal as I could get. She nodded, her brown eyes watching me as I slipped my phone into my back pocket.

“Well I guess just sign yourself out and I’ll see you next time.” I nodded, giving her a bright smile. I walked down the hall to the elevator and climbed in. I nervously tucked a strand of my black hair behind my ear as I noticed I was not alone. A guy, a bit older than myself, was also on the machine. As the elevator shuddered on it’s journey to the lobby my mind began to wander.

I was brought back to reality when the elevator jolted to a stop. I lost balance, accidentally falling into the guy who was sharing the small room with me. I quickly stood on my own feet, blushing deeply. “I’m sorry.”

“That’s fine. Are you okay?” The guy asked me. I nodded, bashfully looking away from him. It was then I realized that the elevator was still open on the lobby floor. I excused myself, hurrying from the small room. I walked to the counter, signing myself out before I walked into the California heat. It wasn’t the smartest idea to be wearing a hoodie and jeans, but I couldn’t recall a time where my clothing selection had ever fit the weather correctly.

I turned left and headed down the street on my usual walk. For a girl with no true ambition to leave her quant little town I had never bought a car or any kind of motorized vehicle. I either rode the bus or just walked everywhere. In the area of Huntington Beach I lived in it was very easy to get around on foot, everything was in a reasonable distance.

The funny part was my favorite band was originally from here, how had I not managed to run into any of them once was still a mystery. I tried to never hang on it. I could only set myself up for disappointment. I came to stop at the mailbox on the corner of the street by the post office. I took out the letter and stared for a few moments at it. With a deep breath a slipped it through the small slot. Suddenly I felt a weight off my shoulders. I smiled widely, pulling out my phone as I walked away.

“Hey Sarah? Yeah, I think we need a good, old fashioned movie night.”