I've Been Waiting Such a Long Time for Someone to Come Along

"Did she say if she liked it? Because I didn't really think it was as long as it- Millie!"

I looked over at Stephen who had been rambling for who knows how long. Anna had sent us to run errands while she planned their small engagement party. We were walking through the grocery store and Stephen hadn't quit talking since we got set foot inside the super market.

"What?" I asked, raising my eyebrow.

"Did Anna say if she liked the proposal? Has she talked to you-"

"Oh, yeah she loved it." I mumbled softly as I nodded.

"Earth to Millie. What's up?" He asked as he waved his hand in front of my face.

"Huh? Oh, it's nothing. Sorry." I shrugged as I continued pushing the cart. "What's the next thing on the list?"

"Cranberry juice. I've told you three times." He replied before stepping in front of the cart and stopping me from moving. "What's wrong, Mill?"

I looked up and him and a broke out in a small smile. He was so caring just like John. He was a lot like John in lots of other ways too. He always wanted to be a musician but settled for a dentist instead so that he could stay with Anna. So I guess you could say he was smarter in some ways. Mostly the not dumping your girlfriend for a stupid ass reason, way.

"I'm sorry Stephen." I sighed. "I've just got a lot on my mind lately."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

I shook my head and looked away.

"Is it John?" He asked with a smirk. He always said John's name in a smug way just to piss me off.

"Fine! You got me." I admitted as I threw my hands up.

"What's the deal?" He asked as he walked to my side.

"He's coming to Boston in a few weeks and it'll be one year since the whole break up thing." I told him. "And apparently he still hasn't gotten over me. He's got the Leonardo's website bookmarked."

"You remember the exact day that all that stuff happened?" He asked.

"It was my birthday." I muttered as I reached up for a box of cereal.

"Ohhh. Aw, I'm sorry Millie. But I mean, why are you getting so nervous about this now?" He asked as he threw a bag of jelly beans in the cart.

"Because he might come try to see me or send me something. I don't know!" I cried.

"And what's the worst thing that could possibly happen if he did that?"

"I'd have to see him again." I responded softly.

Seeing him was my biggest fear. I knew that if I saw those broad shoulders and that big nose that I would almost instantly forgive him. I'd been lying awake at night staring at my door imagining that he would come walking in. I would sit at the restaurant freaking out at every guy who looked similar, thinking it was John. I wanted to love and feel loved again.

"Mill, you can't hide from him forever. He's in a band with your brother and he was a big part of your past. You should try to get some closure." He lectured.

"What the hell is closure?!" I exclaimed. "I mean, people talk about it all the time but if you're still in love with a person you swore off, no amount of talking or reasoning is ever going to make that better. Time heals everything so I'll just wait."

"Well that's stupid." He told me bluntly. "Obviously if your feelings haven't gone away by now they're never going to. You deserve to be happy. Just try to work things out with him."

"No. I-I can't." I stuttered nervously.

He jumped onto the front of the cart and leaned over it.

"Can't or won't?" He asked with a smirk.

"I don't wanna talk about this anymore." I said, glaring at him.

"Come on, Millie. You love the guy and he loves you. What more is there? He probably knows what he did wrong and spent 365 cold nights wishing he could make sweet, sweet love to you." Stephen belted out loudly.

I laughed and a blush crept up onto my cheeks.

"You're ridiculous, you know that right?" I chuckled nervously.

"Doesn't matter. Now are you going to talk to him? And let me meet him?" He asked excitedly.

"Gosh, do you have a man crush on him or something?" I asked teasingly, trying to change the subject and get the focus off myself.

"...I don't have a lot of guy friends. And if this guy went out with you then he's good enough to be friends with me." He rationalized as he hopped off the front of the cart.

"Please don't ever use the phrase 'good enough' again." I shuddered.

"My bad." He said quickly.

"Or 'my bad'." I joked.

He laughed and we started placing things on the register.

----------

"That was an awesome party!" Anna squealed as she started placing garbage in a huge trash bag.

"Yeah, we're probably going to get yelled at by Jeff again." I laughed from the couch, referring to our landlord.

"Probably." She said as the smile left her face. "Hey Millie...can we talk?"

I furrowed my eyebrows at why she got so serious and shrugged. "Yeah, sure."

She walked over to the couch and sat next to me and pulled my legs over her lap. It was a weird habit she had when she wanted to have a serious talk with someone.

"Well...the thing is... Stephen's lease is up soon and we figured if we're going to get married that maybe we should live together for a year or two first..." She trailed off.

"Oh."

"I'm sorry, it's just that he's been asking for awhile and I wanted to tell you but I didn't-"

"No, no Anna it's fine. I totally understand." I smiled.

"You do?" She asked.

"Of course. I mean you stay at his place all the time so why not?" I chuckled.

"You're sure you're not mad?" She asked again.

"Yes, definitely. It'll just suck being all alone." I pouted.

"I feel really bad." She frowned. "You should just move in with us."

"No way. I'm already a third wheel on all your dates. I was a third wheel on your fricken proposal. You guys need some alone time!" I exclaimed.

"But Stephen loves you. You're like his best guy friend if he had a guy friend..." She said slowly. "Oh my God. He's probably going to ask you to be his best man."

We both burst out laughing, because it was probably true.

"Oh no wait. He'd better not because then you couldn't be my maid of honor!" She cried.

"Aww you want me to be your maid of honor?" I smiled.

"Of course. You're my best friend Millie. I know it was under bad circumstances, but I'm really glad you came here." She told me sincerely.

"You know, Boston feels more like home than Tempe ever did." I said, looking down at my hands in my lap.

"Honey...I'm sure that's not true. You just needed a change of scenery after everything." She replied.

"I wish things would have worked out between us. There isn't a day that goes by where I don't think about what could have been. And it makes me sick to my stomach, Ann. Why couldn't our love be like yours and Stephen's? You guys are so perfect and you get each other. John and I were never quite on the same page." I confessed.

She frowned again and gave me a sympathetic look.

"Your love story isn't over, Millie. Someday your prince will come and sweep you off your feet. And he'll realize how stupid he was for letting you go and you two will live happily ever after. You're just going through that middle spot right now, but I promise it's not the end."

"Really?" I mumbled.

"Really." She confirmed. "Now go to bed and try not to think about it too hard."

"Alright. Thanks Anna." I smiled as I gave her a hug and walked into my bedroom.

I was about to flop down on my bed when I saw a black rectangle laying in the middle. I picked it up noticing it was a picture frame. When I turned it around it was of picture of John and I. I was wrapped in his arms and he was giving me a lovestruck grin. The way he looked at me in that photo was heartbreaking. I never thought that anybody could express so much in a facial expression, but he proved me wrong.

I placed the photo on my night stand and looked at it all night.

God, I miss him.

After several hours of tossing and turning I pulled out my phone and decided to reply to Shane's email from the other day.

Shane!
Thanks for the email. It's nice to know that he hasn't completely forgotten or anything. I was thinking about maybe even seeing the show to celebrate my birthday. But don't tell John. I don't even know if I will. I mean, I want to but something might happen at the restaurant or I might get sick. Who knows.

Oh, and you know how I told you my roommate got engaged? Yeah, well she's moving out which means I've got to look for a new one. The fun never stops.

But anyway, how are you? How's the family? Anything new back in Arizona? I'm glad that there are no little Ross's or Sierra's running around yet. I don't think the world is ready for that yet. Haha.

I'll visit when I can.

Xoxo,
Millie

Shortly after I hit send I started to drift off into a deep sleep.

----------

"Millie? Babydoll, wake up." A sweet voice whispered. "I'm here."

My eyes opened wide to find John lying next to me. I grinned and wrapped my arms around him. He returned the embrace and held me tightly.

"I love you so much, babydoll. I'm never going to leave you again." He murmured as he showered me in kisses.

"I love you too. I miss you so much." I replied as I returned the kisses.

We laid there together with our legs tangled, just holding each other. It felt so right. For the first time in almost a year I felt complete.

"Your hair is longer." He whispered as he placed a kiss on my neck. His warm lips felt so good on my soft skin. Then his big palm traveled to the back of my neck as he pulled me in a for a passionate lip lock. Our lips moved perfectly in sync just like they used to.

"Your hair is shorter." I giggled as I ran my hand through it.

He just grinned and kept stroking my back up and down as I laid on his chest.

"I love you." He murmured again. "I love you and I need you. Come back to me? Forgive me?"

"John, what are you talking about?" I questioned.

"He put it on me, I put it on, like there was nothing wrong. It didn't fit it wasn't-"

My eyes popped open and I pressed the snooze button on my phone.

No. It couldn't have been just a dream. It felt so real. It's not fair.

"No." I whispered as tears pricked at my eyes.

I looked to my left and saw nothing but more blankets.

"No."