Save Your Heart

‘I’m not going to cry. I’m not going to cry.’ I told myself in my head as I stood beside the car and watched Derek get all of his things out of his trunk. Today was the day, the day I was dreading. The past two days have been amazing. I never wanted them to end even though all we really did was watch movies and enjoy each others’ last few hours of company.

He slammed the trunk down and picked up his suitcase. “You ready, baby?”

I nodded and said, “As ready as I’ll ever be.” under my breath. He took a hold my hand and gave it a light squeeze. I rested my head on his shoulder as we walked through the airport. I waited by his side as he went through the basic airport procedures. I watched a nearby clock and counted down until my last moment with him. My heart was beating a hundred beats per minute and there were knots in my stomach. I kept telling myself not to cry over and over in my head. He grabbed my hand one more time as we made our way to his terminal, slowly but surely. As we neared our destination, we spotted Natalie and Brooks saying their goodbyes. Derek stopped a few feet away from the entrance to his plane, I was guessing he did so so we could have privacy. He looked around the airport, then pulled me to the side behind a wall. He put down his luggage and let go of my hand. I promptly looped my finger through his belt loop, I didn’t want to let him go. He took his plane tickets out of his back pocket and glanced at them. “This is it.” He said. He put the tickets back in his pocket and looked down at me. I bit my lip. My mind was not listening to me, I could feel my eyes filling up with tears. He brushed my hair behind each of my ears and pressed his lips to my forehead. I wrapped my arms around his waist and tugged on his shirt. The minute my head leaned on his chest, I started to bawl. Derek made all sorts of sounds in attempt to calm me down, but nothing worked.

“Hey, look at me.” He spoke softly. I lifted my head off of him and looked up. He was smiling down at me and a single tear rolled down his cheek. It made me want to cry even more, but I bit my lip again trying to keep myself from sobbing. “You’re going to be okay. We’re going to be okay.”

A woman’s voice boomed over the intercom saying that Derek’s flight was ready to board. Derek pulled me into a hug, I buried my face into his chest. I breathed in his scent as much as I could so I could remember it. I held onto him tightly, I didn’t want to let him go. I knew in a matter of minutes he would be gone. He pulled away from me, held my face in his hands, and kissed me. The kiss was just any wimpy kiss, it was long and hard and passionate. I never wanted it to end. Sadly, it did and he wiped the tears off of my eyes before giving me a quick kiss once again. “I love you, babygirl.” He whispered in my ear.

“I love you, baby.” I choked back.

“Aw sweetie, you’ll be okay.” He assured me again.

I shrugged and let go of his waist. He kissed my forehead. “I’ll call you when we land, okay?”

I nodded. Tears were filling my eyes again. I put my hand up to my face and bit my sleeve to keep from crying.

“Smile, baby.” Derek told me as he brushed a strand of hair away from my face. He smiled at me and started making his way to the terminal. I stood in the corner, by myself, watching him until I couldn’t see him anymore. He didn’t look back at me once. A part of me wondered if he would even miss me. The other part of me thought that he just couldn’t look at me again, not wanting to cry like me.

“Hey, babe.” Natalie appeared at me side and rubbed my back. Her make-up was perfect, she obviously hadn’t been crying like me.

“Hi.” I replied back barley. My voice was scratchy.

“Wanna go out for something to eat? It’ll take your mind off of things.”

I shrugged. She put her arm around my shoulder and led me out of the airport. She offered to drive since I really was in no mood to drive Derek’s car home.