My Father, My Brother

Dragging myself out of bed the next day was like pulling a dead weight. I was emotionally, physically and mentally exhausted from being up half the night crying, and the times I did manage to eventually fall asleep, I was plagued with nightmares of Frank leaving, or his new girlfriend Jamia, manically laughing in Gerards face, making him cry. The sun in the sky was a sickening contradiction to the atmosphere in my house.

I dragged myself into the kitchen to face a breakfast I didn't want. Gerard was already there, coffee in front of him and a cigarette in his hand. He leaned on his right hand, the hand with the cigarette, and was staring blankly at the table cloth. I could tell from the redness of his eyes and his slumped posture that he had slept no better than I had, and was also as exhausted. He sighed and barely managed half a smile in my direction as I sat myself at the table. I touched his shoulder lightly, to reassure him that I was still here, and on his side. That was all it took for him to crumble, breaking down and crying into his arms. I stood and wrapped my arms around him, clutching him closely to offer him silent support. He quickly recomposed himself.

"I'm sorry sugar. I'm just so tired it's hard to control myself." His voice was weak from sleeplessness, and his eyes held a look so pained and broken, I almost cried myself.

"Please don't apologise dad. You have every right to be sad right now. I'm always here for you. Why don't I take the day off school and we'll go do something to take our minds off it?" I offered, half hopeful. I didn't want to face a day of school with my mind so messed up. He smiled weakly at me and raised one eyebrow.

"Nice try Ell, but you're going to school, I'll give you a ride so you don't have to mess around with the bus." He gave me time to drink a glass of orange juice and eat a slice of toast he made me, then picked up his keys and guided me out of the door. We sat in silence in his car, the radio on quietly voiding any reason to speak. I fiddled absently with the strap on my school bag, my mind elsewhere.

"Be a good girl, and I'll pick you up at 3:30 okay? Call me if you really can't stay, but try your best okay beautiful? I love you." He kissed my forehead and waved me goodbye before pulling away from the school gates. I watched after the car before sighing and making my way to home room for registration. Kayleigh was already there, sitting on my desk waiting for me. She smiled at me and I forced myself to match it.

"Hey loser. Have you seen the new sub we've got for reg?" I raised my eyebrows and looked around, looking for the new substitute teacher. The only new face in the room was that of a raven haired woman. She was pretty, but had sharp features that looked as though they could cut glass. She was wearing a long sleeved button down shirt over her taut figure with a red waistcoat that matched her red lip stick. Her black pants were slightly too long on her slender, but defined legs, but her small heeled black boots prevented them from trailing on the floor. She sat behind the teachers desk and I was slightly surprised. She looked a little too young to be a teacher. Kayleigh and I sat in our respective seats, which were beside each others anyway, and waited for our names to be called on the register. Once they were, the teacher sat on her desk and introduced herself to the class.

"Good morning boys and girls! Nice to see so many smiling faces on this lovely Tuesday morning!" I glanced around the room, nobody was smiling. Everyone looked half dead. The teacher, however, laughed away to herself. I rolled my eyes and leaned on my elbow, my head on my hand.

"My name is Miss. Ballato and I'm your new homeroom teacher, and also the new art teacher, since Miss McPartlan has retired. No doubt I'll learn all of your names quickly but correct me if I pronounced any of your names wrong on the register." Nobody corrected her, although she did pronounce Sian Whitfield's name as Seean, instead of Shaan. I'm sure she would be corrected at a later time.

Once we got to lunchtime, Kayleigh had clicked on that something was up, but understood that I didn't want to speak to her about it. I accompanied her to the dining hall to get a sandwich, then we headed back to our home room cum art room since we had art next period. We hopped onto the desk and sat there while Kayleigh ate her sandwich. Miss Ballato came in the room with her lunch shortly afterwards.

"Hello girls, Katie and Ellie? Am I right?" She asked us, closing the door behind her.

"It's Kayleigh, Kayleigh Prescott and Ellie Way." Kayleigh corrected her.

"My apologies Kayleigh. Ellie Way? No relation to Gerard Way I trust?" My eyebrows shot up and I was genuinely surprised. I guessed she knew his band but she didn't seem the type.

"Oh um.. yeah he's my dad." I answered slowly, unsure of what to make of the situation. It was her turn to look surprised.

"You're his daughter!? I never even knew he was married." She sat at her desk and started eating her lunch, but kept her eyes on me, her eyebrows still raised slightly.

"I was adopted when I was eight. He wasn't married. How do you know of my dad?"

"I knew him when we were both teenagers, he was aquainted with a friend of mine back when we were young." She smiled to herself, obviously harvesting fond memories. My brow furrowed slightly as he'd never mentioned a Miss Ballato before. Kayleigh had watched the conversation unfold with interest, but remained silent until our new teacher left the room to take her plate back to the kitchens.

"What if she was his ex girlfriend or something!? You saw that smile on her face right!?" She exclaimed excitedly. "She could have been your mom!"

"But she wasn't! Let's not pretend that Gerard hasn't been with Frank since God knows when." I smiled, but it was forced. A harsh reminder that they were no longer together.

"Yeah yeah yeah. Your dads are hot by the way." Kayleigh told me, yet again.

"So you've said."

"And by the looks off it, our little Miss Newbie agrees with me." She grinned and hopped down off the table, making her way to the shelves and retrieving our sketch books, handing me mine, then yelping when I hit her with it. Lunch was soon over and our class started filing in, lead by Miss Ballato and everyone took their place. One of our friends, Kieran, sat beside me at the front desk, his raging homosexuality apparent. He pulled out a pack of biscuits under the table and offered me one, I shook my head, laughing silently at him. He was never without food, yet so skinny.

"Who's the new teacher? She your home room tutor as well?" He asked in his british accent, spraying crumbs across the desk in front of us. I brushed them away with the sleeve of my purple sweater and nodded.

"That's Miss Ballato. She knows my dad apparently."

"Which one?" He smirked to himself, and I nudged him playfully in the ribs.

"Gerard. Apparently they were friends when they were younger."

"So maybe you could get him to bribe her into giving you A's!" He said excitedly.

"I already get A's in this class!" He shrugged at me and ran a hand, now free of biscuits, through his short dark brown hair.

"So do I. So maybe bribe her into giving Kayleigh A's?" He smirked at Kayleigh, who flicked one of his own crumbs at him.

"Bye bye crumbs, time to go home." He sighed to himself in a fake irish accent as he brushed them off the desk. I hung my head to laugh at him. The first genuine laugh of the day. He never failed to cheer me up.

Miss Ballato introduced herself to this class as well, repeating her speech from earlier before setting us our individual assignments.

"Okay guys, I want you all to choose one of your family members. I'd like you to take pictures of them, then choose your favourite picture and draw it. You have till..." She checked her planner to see when she took our class again, which would be tomorrow and Friday. "You have till Friday to complete this assignment to make it good, and make it detailed. You can work on it in here but I'd like you to take it home as well so you can work with your chosen family member. You can include pets if you'd like, but the main focus has to be a human relative." She smiled and wrote the assignment brief on the board. These sort of assignments excited me cause it meant I could work with Gerard and make it good. I was sad I no longer had any pets to include, because a photo of Frank with Peppers or Mama would be adorable.

"This is okay for you Ellie, you live with an artist!" Kieran moaned, leaning dramatically on the desk.

"That doesn't mean I'd get him to do it! It just means he can advise me, give me guidance." I smiled half heartedly, knowing Gerard wouldn't be up for it right now.

"And no cheating." Miss Ballato leaned against my desk and winked at me with a lop sided smile. I smiled back and promised her I'd do it myself. It sounded like she really did know my dad. I wonder how close they were.

The sun had gone in by the time school finished and it was raining heavily. I stood alone at the school gates waiting for Gerard's car to swing by. He was a few minutes late, so I guessed he'd fallen asleep. He finally turned up ten minutes late, and I practically dived in the car to get out of the downpour.

"You're late!" I accused him half playfully, half annoyed he'd allowed me to get so wet.

"I know, I know. I'm sorry sugar I was in the studio and lost track of the time. How was school?" I smiled because being in his studio, (which was really just our basement that he'd turned into his art room) meant that he'd found a way to relieve his current stresses.

"School was okay, we have a new-" He cut me off there as he suddenly jumped out of the car and into the rain. I stared at him through the windshield in shock. He ran around the car and through the school gates before I saw where he was going. Miss Ballato was just leaving the building and he approached her, now soaked. I watched them hug and talk for a few seconds, before she followed him back to the car.

"Hop in the back Ell." He asked when he reopened his door. I jumped in between the front seats and sulked in the back while Miss Ballato took up my seat.

"I'm sorry if I wet your seats Gerard." She apologized quietly as she pulled her belt on.

"We're just as wet, don't worry about it." He grinned almost genuinely at her and she smiled back, looking nervous.

"You never told me you had a Miss Ballato at school Ellie." Gerard smiled at me through his rearview mirror as he pulled away from the curb.

"Well I was just about to but you ran away!" He didn't even seem to hear me as he started chatting to my teacher again. I shifted around uncomfortably, unsure of what to make of having a staff member in my car. I half listened to the chatter about the past. Gerard told her that he and Frank were going through a 'rough patch' and she said she was sorry to hear it. I stopped listening at that point and text Kayleigh.

"Miss Ballato is in my car. Talking to my dad. It looks like we're taking her home. Awkward."

"That's weird Ell. Be sure he gives her a kiss goodbye ;)"

"That's even weirder! I hope he doesn't! If he does homeroom and art are going to be so awkward."

"Maybe you could end up with two dads and a mom afterall!"

"Please don't say that. My school life will be over!"

I looked up from my cell and looked around at where we'd pulled up. We were in front of some glass fronted apartments, nothing fancy but it was nice.

"Thank you so much for the ride Gerard, I would have drowned waiting for the bus!" She giggled to herself as she gathered up her bags from the car floor and prepared to get out.

"No problem Lynz, I could give you a ride whenever I pick Ellie up if you'd like?" He smiled at her and she smiled back shyly, a light pink blush on her cheeks.

"I'd like that..." I rolled my eyes, then stared in horror as Gerard leaned in towards her. His lips brushed her cheek as he left a light peck there. She muttered something, stammering badly before stumbling awkwardly out of our car. I hopped into the front as soon as she was out and glared at Gerard, silently demanding an explanation. He smiled and watched her as she went in, then started to pull out to take us home, ignoring my burning glare.

"What was that!?" I demanded after he spent a whole ten seconds ignoring me. "She's my teacher!"

"She's also an old friend Ell, don't worry about it." I sulked all the way home, angry that he'd just made school rather awkward for me.

"Old friend or not, you still just made art and home room awkward for me."

"Don't sulk sugar, she's just a friend." I sulked anyway. All the way home.