If You Only Had a Heart

The small boy was overjoyed when he found out that John was indeed his father, there was hint of sparkle in his eyes, that I had never seen before. He finally was happy that he knows his father, the young boy had immediately wrapped his arms around his father’s neck, squeezing him tight. John had a smile on his face, one that I hadn’t seen in years, for once it didn’t seem fake, it was sincere. It made me feel guilty for depriving them from each other, I thought I was making the right decisions but now I see that I had kept the missing puzzle piece from both their lives, which in a case made me worse than John when he walked out.

“I’m sorry” I whispered, my voice cracking.

Both the boys turned their attention to me, both unsure for why I was sorry.

“What are you sowwy for mommy?” Young John asked my worriedly.

“It was my fault neither of you saw each other, I should never had said those things that night” I sobbed, not being able to control the tears.

John didn’t say anything, he just pulled us into a hug. Our first family hug, it was like what could have been before all this.

“We’ll talk about this later” John whispered in my ear.

I just nodded.

The door to the lounge opened up, revealing Pat.

“N’awwah, as much of a cute family you make, John has to get his ass on stage” he cooed.

“ass?” Young John asked.

I gave Pat a scowl before he quickly ran out of the room so I wouldn’t beat the shit out of him for swearing in front of John, who obviously picks things up quickly. John on the other hand was pissing himself laughing at what just occurred.

“John, don’t say that again, ok? It’s a bad word” I scolded. “and you” I said pointed at his father “ this is not a laughing matter” I hissed.

Which just earned me being laughed at, by the both of them. Father like son. John needed to be on stage promptly, so I carried the young behind his father towards the stage, where we overlooked the band, playing their hearts out, doing the thing they loved. The passion that was put into it could be seen by everyone, John sang his heart out as though it was the last thing he was going to do. John was still in my arms, bobbed around to the music, laughing with happiness which caught each of the guys eyes, they all smiled into what they were doing. When the song had finished John was speaking to the crowd, sharing jokes and amusing stories, but when his eyes landed on John and I, he became serious with what he was saying.

“Listen people! I have some great but shocking news for you” he yelled into the microphone, before turning to us signaling for both of us to come on stage, I refused to go but John pulled out of my grasp and ran out on stage, earning ‘awws’ from the crowd.

I watched as the little boy ran into his father’s arms, as he lifted him up.

“This cutie here, is John. John Cornelius O’Callaghan the Sixth, my son” he said proudly this earned gasps from the crowd but then they all cheered.

A small smile crept onto my face, as I watched both John’s sing and dance on stage together, as the show continued. I hugged myself and watched them enjoying themselves, knowing that maybe John would grow up to follow in his father’s footsteps.

After the show they quickly exited the stage, each pulling me into a sweaty hug, apart from John who I kept a distance from.

“Mommyy!” John yelled running towards me.

I knelt down to his level, as he ran into my arms.

“Did you have fun with Daddy?” I asked him.

“Yeaah! Mommy it waz gweat!” he smiled happily.

I hugged him tighter, as John approached us.

“He’s a natural, going to be exactly like his father” he chuckled.

“It wouldn’t surprise me” I added looking down at the small boy in my arms, who was slowly falling to sleep.

“He looks tired, want me to give you a lift home, I presume you came in Kennedy’s truck, right?” he asked.

I nodded.

“That would be nice, thank-you” I replied.

John went and grabbed the keys from Kenny, and before long we were on our way towards home. The car ride was silent, just the soft snores coming from John in the back.

“Chris?” John said breaking the silence.

“Yeah?” I replied softly.

“Do you think it will ever be the same?”