This Is How I Disappear

This Is How I Disappear

Zackys P.O.V 

I woke in a black room. An unfamiliar room, it was dark yet so light.  I couldn't help but smile. I succeeded in my mission.  I was free from my pain, just as i realized this, I also realized that I would never see Delilah again. I can only hope that I am in a place forever bared to her. A place where I can never cause her pain again.  

I felt a touch so light that I couldn't help but think it was the wind,  that was until I heard a voice I thought that I would never hear again.

"Zack?". Jimmy's voice said.

I turned to look at him. His face was happy yet sad, I knew why, he was happy to see me yet sad that I too was dead.
I stood there staring at him. I didn't know what to say, what to do. I remembered all the times we had, all the laughs, all the times he saved me, pulled me back from the edge just before I jumped. But he wasn't there to save me this time.  I couldn't contain the joy that just washed over me. I leaped at my best friend, but was shocked to find that I ran right through him. I looked at him confused. 

Jimmy spoke knowing exactly why I was confused.

"You aren't really dead,Zacky."

"I don't understand."

"You are almost dead" Jimmy began explaining the events that I missed in my unconscious state. 

"Delilah got worried after hearing your message and her and Johnny came to check on you.  That's when Delilah found you, her and Johnny took you to the hospital, they are working to save you, but you have to leave me and go back, Zacky."

What was he saying, I cannot leave. And that's exactly what I told him

"I can't leave, Jimmy."

"You have to. They need you, Zacky. Especially Brian and Delilah."

How could he say this I knew they needed me, but I needed him and he left me.

"Why did you leave us?". Sorrow soaked every word I spoke.

"I didn't plan on dying, Zacky. And I never left you, any of you, I stayed behind to watch over you. I passed up heaven or hell, and let's not kid ourselves it's probably hell, to watch over all of you.  I have been kicking your butt since the day I died and cursing god, for not letting you feel it.  You have to go back to Delilah, she's going to need you now more than ever"

What does that mean, now more than ever.

"she's pregnant." Jimmy said reading the confusion on my face.

"it's probably Johnny's" I said, matter-of-factly

"and that's another thing, you have to stop saying things like that.  Johnny is protecting Delilah for your sake. And how dare you blame Brian for my death." he said getting a little angry at the last part.

I sat there not knowing what to say, I knew the words that Jimmy spoke were true. You know since he has been watching over us all, I guess that he would know if it were Johnny's kid.  Wait, did he just say Delilah's pregnant! I got a sudden flash of a beautiful little girl with my green eyes and Delilah's blonde hair. Then I got a vision of the little girl growing up before my eyes and then on her wedding day where she had no father to walk her down the aisle, and her Delilah sat in the front alone crying.  How could I have been this selfish.

"shit man, are you freaking kidding me. Delilah's pregnant how is she going to raise a kid by herself. Jimmy can you send me back. I have to back and fix this."

Jimmy looked at me with knowing eyes, I don't want to go but I have to. I have to win Delilah back, I have to win back her heart and her trust,  if it kills me.

"Zacky, you are not under in circumstances allowed to tell Delilah that she is pregnant. I need you to promise me that you won't."

"Jimmy, I " my sentence was cut short.

"Just promise me!" Jimmy yelled

"Okay, I promise."

Jimmy looked at me with tears in his crystal blue eyes, as he spoke.

"Stop doing this to yourself, stop blaming yourself for my death. It's not you fault. Tell Brian that you met me here today, tell him that I am so sorry, and that it his turn, he'll know what you mean.  I love you, bro."

And with that everything went black.

Delilah's P.O.V

I sat there staring at the hospital floor, not knowing what to say. I should never have left him, especially not with the man he believes me to be cheating on him with.  I should1d have demanded he get help. I should have tried a little harder, I should have stayed by his side. The tears began pouring from my eyes, the ones I was trying desperately to hide for Johnny, Matt and Brian's sake.

Brian got up and walked over to where I was sitting, he draped his arm over me and spoke the softest I have ever heard him speak. 

"I know that you are scared, we are too. We don't want to lose zacky either. After all you've been through it's okay for you to be upset. Just know that we aren't giving up on Zacky.  We weren't able to save Jimmy but I will save Zacky, if it kills me."

I looked at all of the men before me, for Matt and Johnny had come to sit in front of me, and I. Believed every word that Brian spoke. I couldn't help but feel safe. 

Just as I was about to this a doctor emerged from nowhere and was approaching. I knew that what he said would either make me the happiest and luckiest woman alive or completely shattered my world.