Second Chances, Bad Habits

“ASHLEY!” A group of fan girls screamed as I walked into Hot Topic. Fantastic. I came here for Deli and all I got was a bunch of crazy slightly obsessed sixteen year olds.

Something hitting my chest pulled me out of my thoughts as I waved to the screaming girls. Looking down I found just what I had been looking for. Deli.

“What the fuck do you want?” Wait. Why is she mad at me. Oh fuck… that’s the new shirt isn’t it.

“Why are you at work when you’re hurt? I called at your hose to come check up on you, seen as I didn’t get back until late last night, only to have your sister tell me you’ve gone to work. Deli ate you out of your mind?” She’s pissed. But so am I. Yes, I should have told her but I have my reasons I didn’t. But she needs to get her ass back in bed.

“I came to work, not that you’d care, because I have a normal life, where I have to work to get money, unlike some jacked up rock star!” I can’t believe she said that. That seriously hurt, apparently she doesn’t understand how much I really do care about her. Deli’s eyes watered and she covered her mouth with her hands and she ran towards the back of the store into the back.

Closing my eyes I clenched my fists and sighed. I should have told her right out just who I am. I’m not mad at her I’m pissed off at myself for letting this happen. The school of fan girls were gone when I opened my eyes again. Shaking my head I looked down at my feet and ran my hand over my mouth. Why hadn’t I said something else to her? Like sorry? What the hell is wrong with me? Apparently I can’t even try to be in a relationship without fucking it up.

“Do you want to wait for her?” From behind me another employ hesitated as she came closer to me.

“Please?” Her name tag read Ruth.

“Right back there. But give her some time. She’ll come around.” Trying my best to smile I walked towards the door she had pointed at.

Sighing I leaned against the wall. Maybe I should try the door? Standing back up I placed my hand on the knob, it turned but it wouldn’t open. She’s on the other side I can tell, it made my heart break even more when I placed my head against the door and could hear her sobbing. Look what you’ve caused Ashley! This girl was pretty much perfect for you and you’ve pushed her away.

My phone vibrated in my pocket. Digging it out of my tight jeans I groaned when I saw it was from one of my old whore friends.

Hey Ash, What are you doing tonight? Do you want to meet up and have a little fun? ;D

No Ash don’t you dare text back that you do. You have to make things right with Deli, not worse.

Hey Candy. Sorry I can’t I’m in a relationship right now… so yeah…. Sorry.

So maybe that’s a bit of a lie at the moment. Technically Deli isn’t my girlfriend but hopefully if things get better I’ll grow a pair and officially make her mine soon.

Oh. Well. Congrats.

Shoving my phone back into my pants I didn’t even bother replying. I know if I did I’d fall into temptation and do something I’d regret even more than right now.

Looking at the door it opened and Deli stepped out. She looked a little shocked that I was still here. What? I care why shouldn’t I stay? Closing my eyes again I rested my head on the wall and sighed.

“I should’ve told you, I’m… I’m sorry.” I hate this, I’ve hurt her and I think I’m going to cry.

“Ash its my-” Nope, she’s not blaming this on herself. Pulling her into my chest I held her waist tightly.

“I didn’t mean to hurt you, I swear I wasn’t just using you.”

Burying myself in her hair I mumbled to her hoping that she’d hear. She must have because she clung to me tightly and cried again. Letting her cry is probably the best thing I can do right now so I just held her tightly and ran my hands through her really soft hair. I knew it was soft. Thinking I could calm her I began to sing to her softly.

“Your tears don't fall, they crash around me, Her conscious calls, the guilty to come home Your tears don't fall, they crash around me.” Its the only song I can think of right now and it feels fitting so I’ll just whisper sing to her.

Deli’s legs gave out and she fell to the floor, following her down I let her continue to cry into my shoulder. I have royally fucked up this time. Never in my life have I seen someone cry this much, but I can’t tell if its because of me or the pain of her most likely broken ribs. But her tears began to slow. Deli changed her position so that she was sitting with her legs crossed. Running my hand across her cheeks I brushed off the last of her tears.

“Deli, I’m so sorry. It’s not that I didn’t trust you or something like that it was… well… because I was afraid that if I told you just exactly who I am that you’d never want to go out with me; or that you’d just want to sponge off my fame.” Kneeling down next to her I pushed her hair out of her face.

“I’d never sponge off you or say no.” Okay, I’ll admit it her sniffling was damn adorable.

“I didn’t think you would but so many girls have done it to all of us that its hard to not think that.” I’m not making things any better am I?

“I-I’m sorry.”

“You have nothing to be sorry about Deli. I-I really do care about you. I just didn’t want something like my fans, my fame, my band, or touring to make you not feel the same way back.” Oh god… am I saying how I feel right now? What is happening to me? This never happens!?!?

Deli just looked at me in shock. Oh fuck. I’ve spoke too soon. She doesn’t feel the same way does she.

“I-I really care about you too.” I’m not really sure if she’s just saying that or if she really means it. But either way it was enough for me.

Taking her face in my hands I took a deep breath before I pressed my lips to hers.