Second Chances, Bad Habits

In shock I watched Deli as she continued to cry. I can’t even fucking believe she was into all that kind of shit, Andy had shown me some pretty raunchy shit that had to do with her but I never expected that. She almost fucking died because of some drug lord.

Biting my lip I shut my eyes tightly. What do I fucking do now? I still love her, right? What am I saying of course I still love her. But I don’t know if I really trust her right now, touring in England or just touring in general may not be the greatest idea for her. A lot of crazy shit can go down over tour and with her past being the way it is I don’t want to see her being sucked into shit like that again.

Deli sobbed loudly hiding her face in the pillow. Uncovering her face quickly she looked at me through tear stained eyes, her voice was a rough whisper.

“Ash, I’ll understand if you never want to see me again now.” my stomach dropped and my eyes got wide.

“What the fuck do you mean Deli, I’m not fucking leaving you. I said I love you and I meant it.”

“Ash-Ash.” watching her sob was starting to kill me so I opened my arms and motioned for her to climb up in my lap. Doing as I had told her to she crawled into my arms and rest her head against my shoulder. Hot tears bled through my thin shirt.

“Deli, I need you to promise me something.”

“Wh-what?” pulling her head from it’s spot on my shoulder she looked me right in the eye.

“I need you to promise me, swear on you’re brother and sister’s lives that you’ll never ever get into shit like that again. I can’t lose you to something like that. I need you so fucking much, it would kill me to see you slowly self-destruct like that.”

I felt myself start to tear up from my words as well. I just about never cry and now the idea of possibly seeing Deli get back into some bad shit and loosing her is bring me to tears.

“Please Deli promise me.” holding her tightly I forced her to look me in the eye.

“I promise Ash I-I won’t ever get back into that shit.”

“Thank you Deli.” tears of joy and relief ran down my face as I kissed her passionately. “I love you so much Deli.”

“I love you too Ash.” we kissed again and again and I began to think that I was about to get some of my favorite recreational sport ever, but instead Deli broke the kisses off and stood up.

“Baby where are you going?” reaching out for her she giggled but walked over to the vanity and began to fix her face.

“I need to go see the guys.” groaned I walked up behind her wrapping my arms around her waist.

“Whyyyyy?” kissing up her neck I hoped it would convince her to let her friends wait a little longer.

“Because I need to help them start plan the tour and write some songs.” nibbling her ear and kissing her was getting nowhere. Fuck she’s good at this not having sex thing.

“Ugh, do you have to? Baby I need you right now.” rolling her eyes she turned in my arms and place her hand on my chest.

“Yes I do. And that’s wonderful but you’ll just have to wait.” she pecked my lips quickly before escaping out the door. I swear if I didn’t love her so much… I… I don’t know what I’d do.

******

The whole time Deli was gone I sat in the living room worry my ass off. I don’t like the idea of her being out without me and her being out with a group of guys. It doesn’t help that she just told me about all the shit in her past at all.

Matt saw my fretting and sat down next to me.

“Ash, you look worried what’s wrong?” I shrugged keeping my eye on the TV.

“Nothing’s wrong, I’m just stressing about tour.” Matt sighed knowing I wasn’t going to tell him what was really wrong.

“Aww, well I know that isn’t what’s really wrong. Do you want to do something to get your mind off of whatever’s wrong?” looking over at him I shrugged.

“Sure I guess.” he smiled at me, chewing on my lip I wondered what I had just gotten myself into.

“Well, if you’re willing to help would you care to take your mind off everything by helping me to move Hawise and Evangeline into apartment number twenty three upstairs?” I couldn’t help but grin, he had been so worried that they wouldn’t get that apartment and yet they had.

“Oh my god! You got the house?!”

“Yes!” grabbing him I hugged him tightly. Earlier he had been pacing the floor he was so worried about if he was or wasn’t going to get the apartment and now he was asking me to help them move in. How can I say no to that?

“Congrats Matt, of course I’ll help you!”

Jumping up I grabbed my phone and stuffed it into my pocket. Following Matt he lead me up the stairs to their apartment. It was basically a place just like mine downstairs the only difference was their walls were white and mine were painted to match the décor.

“What do you think?” Matt had his hands on his hips while he admired the place.

“I think it’s great! You should be proud.”

“Thanks Ash, that means a lot.” patting him on the back I smiled at him.

“You’re welcome Matt. Let’s get moving you guy’s things!” leaving the house we were both beaming. I love that they’re getting their own place but as I carried box after box of their things they must have snuck into their old house to get I realized that now they wouldn’t be living at my house. It’s going to be weird not having them their.

*********

After helping Matt to move everyone but Deli in upstairs I showered and got comfy in bed waiting for Deli to come back. By seven she was walking in the bedroom door with a smile on her face.

“Hey Baby.” beckoning her closer I smiled back at her.

“Heyyy…” leaning down our lips met softly, she didn’t taste like booze or smell like some sort of inhalint drug and she didn’t look high so that’s a good sign.

“Did you have fun planning?” chuckling darkly she nodded sitting down on the bed next to me.

“Yeah it was great we-we-” covering her mouth with her hands she jumped up and bolted to the bathroom. What the fuck?

“DELI!” chasing after her I found her in the bathroom emptying the contents of her stomach into the toilet below her.

Holding her hair I rubbed circles on her back and sung to her under my breath hoping it would calm her down. What the fuck is wrong? Did she eat something bad or is she sick?

“Deli what happened?” lifting her head back she wiped the corners of her mouth with a washcloth and flushed the toilet.

“I-I don’t know one second I felt fine and then the other I just, this happened.” my gut twisted, this isn’t normal and I think I should be worried.