Status: Updates are gonna be slow for a while, sorry :/
Second Chances, Bad Habits
God Forgive me For my Sins, God Forgive me...
In horror I watched as Deli pulled out three plastic baggies. I can already tell this isn’t going to go over well.
“I only do drugs when I can’t get the high that I need, which……which is you. Last night I couldn’t have you, so….I just needed it.”
So when she doesn’t do drugs I’m her high? I don’t know if I should take that as a compliment or not. Ripping the baggies from her hands I sighed. I’ve only dated one addict before this and she was doing the same shit as Deli is now, I had to break it off with her because I couldn’t handle her constantly being high.
“Deli… I don’t know what to say.”
She sniffled making me want to rush over to her and hold her tightly in my grasp. But I couldn’t get my feet to move towards her, it was almost like they had been cemented in concrete.
“I’m sorry Ash.” I sighed. What the fuck do I do? I can’t just leave her because she’s carrying my child and despite everything that’s happened I do still love her.
“I know you are.” I couldn’t even look at her as I said this, it just hurt too much to do so.
“Ashley I promise this time that I’ll never do them again. I love you and Oscar so much I won’t do them again. I-I promise.” glancing over at her I saw the tears streaking down her beautifully pale face.
“Deli, I can’t believe I’m saying this but I don’t trust you. Not anymore at least.”
“Ashley! Please! I swear on my life I won’t do it again!” shaking my head no I didn’t want to hear her words. I don’t want to do this but I have to. I have to do it because I love her.
“Deli, I think we need a little break.” my words were only greeted with silence.
“Ashley…”
“I’m sorry, but until I trust you again this is what I have to do. I love you Deli but just not the same way I use to.” Deli didn’t say anything this time. Sighing I leaned over towards her and kissed her forehead.
“I’m sorry Deli.” pushing me away she glared at me, I know she probably hates me right now but this just what I have to do until I trust her again. Walking to the door I stopped.
“Please don’t think I’m doing this because I hate you, because that’s not how I feel honestly I love you. But knowing that I’m your recreational drug, I don’t know if I can handle that. Just not now at least. Deli I love you. But this is just what I need to do for now.”
In tears I opened the door and began walking down the hall. I don’t know where I’m going but where ever it is the place needs to be quite so I can think.
“I only do drugs when I can’t get the high that I need, which……which is you. Last night I couldn’t have you, so….I just needed it.”
So when she doesn’t do drugs I’m her high? I don’t know if I should take that as a compliment or not. Ripping the baggies from her hands I sighed. I’ve only dated one addict before this and she was doing the same shit as Deli is now, I had to break it off with her because I couldn’t handle her constantly being high.
“Deli… I don’t know what to say.”
She sniffled making me want to rush over to her and hold her tightly in my grasp. But I couldn’t get my feet to move towards her, it was almost like they had been cemented in concrete.
“I’m sorry Ash.” I sighed. What the fuck do I do? I can’t just leave her because she’s carrying my child and despite everything that’s happened I do still love her.
“I know you are.” I couldn’t even look at her as I said this, it just hurt too much to do so.
“Ashley I promise this time that I’ll never do them again. I love you and Oscar so much I won’t do them again. I-I promise.” glancing over at her I saw the tears streaking down her beautifully pale face.
“Deli, I can’t believe I’m saying this but I don’t trust you. Not anymore at least.”
“Ashley! Please! I swear on my life I won’t do it again!” shaking my head no I didn’t want to hear her words. I don’t want to do this but I have to. I have to do it because I love her.
“Deli, I think we need a little break.” my words were only greeted with silence.
“Ashley…”
“I’m sorry, but until I trust you again this is what I have to do. I love you Deli but just not the same way I use to.” Deli didn’t say anything this time. Sighing I leaned over towards her and kissed her forehead.
“I’m sorry Deli.” pushing me away she glared at me, I know she probably hates me right now but this just what I have to do until I trust her again. Walking to the door I stopped.
“Please don’t think I’m doing this because I hate you, because that’s not how I feel honestly I love you. But knowing that I’m your recreational drug, I don’t know if I can handle that. Just not now at least. Deli I love you. But this is just what I need to do for now.”
In tears I opened the door and began walking down the hall. I don’t know where I’m going but where ever it is the place needs to be quite so I can think.
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Yikes... this is a really REALLY crappy update. I apologize big time.