Second Chances, Bad Habits

Andy’s been pestering me to go see Deli for probably a week now, and I can see where he’s coming from but I don’t know if I can physically get myself to go. What happens if she rejects me and tells me she never wants to see me again? Or what if I was asked to go to some therapy session with her and she blames me for everything? I don’t know if I could handle that.

But we have a show tonight and I have to put Deli out of my mind. When we play a show I try to spend time with the fans that have allowed us to tour so much and become so popular. I glanced at myself in a mirror of our bus one last time before going out to see our fans and go make sure that the stage is ready for us to go on.

As I stepped off of the bus a crowed of fans screamed. I chuckled a little as I put on my Purdy swagger and began walking towards them. They all squealed and giggled once I was standing before all of them.

“Ohmigosh! Ashley can you sign this?” a girl who look strikingly just like Deli handed me a poster that she had gotten at the merch table.

“Of course I can cutie.” grabbing my silver sharpie from my back pocket I quickly signed my name with a star.

“Thank you so much.” the rest of the girls handed me posters, CDs, shoes, shirts, and skin to sign. Happily I did them all while thoughts of Deli still ran through my mind, of course that girl that looks like Deli still hasn’t left which could be the cause of why I haven’t stopped thinking about her.

After everything had been signed I leaned up against the wall of the venue and began listening to the girls. One girl told me about how she battled with depression and how our music saved her from committing suicide, whenever I hear stories like that it makes me proud to be in this band. Others just told me how much they loved the music. And like always a few girls offered to let me fuck them on the bus, but once he other girls heard that they got pretty angry.

“Ashley don’t even think about going back there with those sluts, you have Deli and your baby to think about.” I smiled faintly at them.

“I wasn’t going to I love the both of them too much to do that to them.” chewing my bottom lip I sighed I miss her so much, I’ve used the bass she got me every night since she left.

To be honest I’ve kept it by me at all times because it’s her. This guitar is Deli when Deli is gone.

“Speaking of Deli where is she?”

“She, um, she has been battling with a drug addiction and she went to rehab.” the girls eyes went wide.

“Oh, Ashley how did you find out about her drug use?” I frowned I don’t want to be thinking about this right now.

“I caught her. And after she woke up from passing out I-I um,” I don’t want to have to admit that I broke it off with her because I feel so guilty about having done it.

“What happened Ashley?” the girl who looked just like Deli came up close to me and placed her hand on my forearm.

“I yelled at her, and told her I didn’t trust her. After yelling at her I needed to take a break so I went to the bus to try and cool down and by the time I got back she was gone. She left me a note saying goodbye.”

I felt the tears coming to my eyes. “And now I don’t even know if I can get the balls to go see her.”

The girl that had been holding my arm pulled me into a hug. She held me tightly patting my back softly. I couldn’t help myself I actually started crying on her shoulder.

“Everything is going to be okay Ashley, but you need to go see her. I know what you’re going through right now, this happened between my mother and I. You need to be strong and go see her no matter how much it hurts, because you could regret not doing it one day.” the girl had tears in her eyes as well.

“I’m so sorry about you mom, and thank you. I-I’m going to try and do it.”

“Go and you’ll find strength to see her.” nodding silently I hugged the girl again. I’ve often hugged fans that have cried because they tell us their stories and they bring themselves to tears but I have never been the one crying. Hugging her one last time I thanked her before going into the venue. After the show tonight I’m going to talk to Jon and see if he can get me a ride to go see Deli.

***

Jon said he would drive me to see Deli tomorrow, Andy had heard that I was going and he said he would go with me too. He also said that he had something he needed to tell me when we got back to the hotel. So needless to say that when we arrived at the hotel and I was given my keycard I was going out of my frigging mind trying to figure out what Andy had to tell me.

I tossed my bag down on my bed and sat down on the chair near the window waiting for Andy to walk in. All my luck he’s going to yell at me for something. My eyelids became heavy and before I knew it Andy was shaking my arm trying to wake me up.

“Ashley, dude wake up!” I groaned openign my eyes. I never realised how tired I was until just now.

“Hmmm?”

“I wanted to talk to you remember?” I groaned rubbing the sleep from my eyes.

“Yeah I remember. What’s up?” sitting up straight I watched my friend, he had a devious smile on his face.

“Well I was thinking, you know how you want to go see Deli but you’re afraid she’s going to reject you?” I nodded.

“Yeah... and?” the smile on his face became evil. Oh shit I know that look and when that face comes out I know we’re going to have an adventure.

“Well, I had this idea I can go sneak in and see her and find out if she does or doesn’t want to see you. We can go tonight! I’ll call a cab, I know right where she’s staying Ash!”

Oh hell I knew this was going to be an adventure. Do I say yes or should I say no? Andy’s smile became contagious and I began to smile the same way.

“So you up for it?” I shrugged.

“Um, sure I guess. But how exactly are we going to get in? It’s almost midnight.” Andy stood up and put his hands on his hips.

“Leave it to me, I have an idea.” when Andy says that I know I’m in trouble but it’s going to be so much fun along the way. Standing up I followed him to the door.