Make Me Better

The next morning, I decided to go see my mom. My dad looked really tired and it took me a while but I had convinced to go home for a bit, I promised to stay with my mom until he got back. I sat in a chair right by my mom's bed.

"So, your school called. Told me you were suspended." My mom said softly. I joked on the juice I was sipping on, "What?" I coughed. She looked over at me and frowned, "You weren't going to tell me?"

"Oh, my god. Does dad know? is he mad? How mad is he?" I questioned. She laughed, "They called my cell phone, and I didn't tell him, so don't worry. What exactly happened, Olive?" I groaned and whined a bit, I was embarrassed about the whole situation.

"Tell me." She urged. I wondered for a moment; I didn't know whether to tell my mom everything, from the whole Frank and Jenna situation. I figured she had a right to know, and she was so understanding, maybe she could tell me what to do. I told her everything and she listened patiently.

"... So I punched her and then the very next day the principal called me in. I'm suspended for three days. Jenna isn't my problem, Frank is. I want to forgive him but it isn't that easy. I can't just forget about what he did. I don't know what to do. Am I an idiot for even wanting to have a relationship for him?"

"I know you feel conflicted but I don't think it's such a good idea that you're letting this stress you out. Don't think about so much, you're going to need time. I don't know how much time you'll need but forgiving and forgetting takes a while, especially over something like this. I don't think you're an idiot, you're just confused. Don't rush into things, you have to be sure about what you decide to do. If Frank can't wait then he never really cared for you."

I decided that if I didn't take my mom's advice I was an absolute idiot. I wasn't going to pressure myself to make a decision at this very moment. If Frank got tired of waiting I would totally understand. I stayed with my mom, and we even went to visit the baby. She was doing a lot better from when the last time I saw her. She was much bigger, but it still saddened me to see her in an incubator. My dad showed up a while later and he suggested I go home, he still had the idea that I was sick. I went home, not my grandma's. I walked into the empty house and went straight to my room. I laid in bed and looked through my missed calls. Most of them were from Frank, oddly, he hadn't called me today. I guess that should have been a relief since I didn't want to talk to him, but it only gave me the idea that he was starting to get fed with trying.

I wanted to call him, to tell him exactly what I was planning to do. I was going to tell him that if he didn't want to wait for me, then he didn't. I wasn't going to tie him down, but I also wasn't going to jump back into a relationship.

I dug my shoe into the dirt, making straight lines, back and forth. I looked up when I heard someone approaching. I couldn't deny it, Frank looked so adorable. He looked as if he hadn't had good night's rest, his hair was messy, but he pulled off the careless look.

"Hi." I said.

"Hey."

"I just wanted to talk about things." I started. He nodded, not even bothering to look in my direction. "I... umm." He seemed so distant and it was sort of bothering me. "Are you ok?" I asked. He finally looked up at me, a quizzical look on his face,

"Of course I'm not." He scoffed, "What kind of question is that?"

"Umm. I- I was-" I stuttered, "Whatever, nevermind. " I took a deep breath and met his eyes, "I was just going to say that I'm not anywhere near being ready to forgive you. I know I've said this before, and I bet you're tired of hearing it. I don't want to pressure myself into making a decision right now. And I would totally understand if you get tired of waiting."

"And here I thought you were going to tell me good news." He mumbled.

"I'm sorry." I whispered, feeling a bit bad.

"No, I'm sorry. I really am, Olive. Take all the time you need, but I don't see why you need this much time. It was an accident, and you know I wouldn't have done it if I was sober." He ran a hand through his hair, "Why haven't you been to school?"

I frowned, "I got suspended for what I did to Jenna." He laughed a little, "You aren't talking to her, are you?" I asked quickly.

"Why would I be?" he asked.

I felt a rush of emotions, and I couldn't push them aside, "Dammit, Frank, I love you." I saw a small, weak smile form on his lips.

"I love you, Olive. You know I do."

"But I can't trust you. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you." I added quickly. It was a spur of the moment, and before I could stop myself, I was leaning over and pulling him closer to me, pressing my lips to his.