The Memories of Broken Dreams

“Hi Alex.” “L-Liy.” I choked out. “How? You? Why? HOW!?” I managed to say. She smiled softly at me. “Is there somewhere we can talk, privately?” I nodded. “My apartment.” I replied. “Lead the way.” She giggled.

We drove to back to my apartment and sat down on the couch. The girl had fallen asleep and was sitting on Lily’s lap. I stared at her and she blushed. “Is it really you?” I choked out. She smiled a little and patted my hand. “It is Alex.” “But you died!” I cried. “You died, because of me and then you came back and we got married and then you died, for real!”

Lily put a hand on my arm. “Please calm down Lex.” Using my old nickname. “Let me explain.” She pulled a picture from her pocket and tossed it to me. In the picture there were two girls, about 15 years old, they looked so much alike, they could have been twins.

She looks like me doesn’t she?” Lily broke the silence. “My cousin, I mean.” People always used to think we were twins.” She put the picture back. “She told you what happened after I…. faked my dead, didn’t she?” I nodded, unable to talk. “Well, everything she told you is true, except for the fact she pretended to be me of course.” Lily’s voice grew darker as she spoke. “My aunt tried to keep what happened to me a secret, but Delilah, which was her real name by the way, found out eventually. She thought I should go back, because you and I could have ‘such a perfect life together’ and that I shouldn’t stay away from the person I love because of some ‘stupid misunderstanding’.” She continued in a mocking tone.

“B-but she… You….The baby….” I stuttered. “She went to Baltimore, with the plan to make you feel even more guilty, she wanted to convince you that she was me, she wanted what I could have. She’d always been jealous.” She cuddled the little girl closer. “As you can see Alexandra is fine.”

I could do anything but stare at Lily and Alexandra. “Does she know? That I’m her dad?” I wondered out loud. “Yes, she knows, I showed her pictures, let her listen to your music, she really wanted to meet you. Alex I’m so sorry I never came back and I don’t expect you to forgive me and pick up where we left off, but I hope you can at least let Ally into your life.” Lily almost pleaded.

My eyes grew wide, how could she even think that. “Are you kidding? You have no idea how happy I would be to get to know my daughter.” I looked at the sleeping girl. “She can sleep in my bed, it’s a lot more comfortable then this couch.” I suggested. Lily nodded and I picked Ally up and carried her to the bedroom.

When I came back I sat down next to Lily again. “Alex, I…” She started but I cut her off by feverishly pressing my lips to hers. She kissed back, completely surprised. I missed her so much. She still tasted the same as I remembered she did that night at the party. She hadn’t changed at all. The same long blond hair, the same sparkling green eyes. My hand, which had been resting on her shoulder, moved down her arm and traced over the thin scares on her wrist. “I’m sorry.” I mumbled against her lips. “Don’t worry, it’s all in the past. I just wanna start over.” She whispered.

I continued kissing her and moved so she was pinned underneath me on the couch. I felt her hands against my chest pushing me away. “We can’t Alex. I can’t.” “But you said you wanted to start over!” “I know and I mean, really start over!” Lily’s voice got a little louder, but not loud enough to wake Ally up. “I can’t do this Alex. I love you, don’t get me wrong. I know what happened between you and Delilah when she pretended to be me, but she and I aren’t the same. I am still your best friends who had a crush on you back in high school, but I’m not the girl you fell in love with in year senior year and got married to.”

“Why don’t you understand!” I hissed, getting angry. “YOU are that girl I fell in love with! And I don’t mean the girl Delilah pretended to be, I mean you! I fell for you the second I met you! I love you. I love Lily, my best friend.”

Lily took a few steps back, shaking her head. “Don’t. You don’t love me like that, we’re friends, we always have been. I knew me coming back only makes things confusing, but you have to get your feelings straight. Like I said, you fell for Delilah, pretending to be me, not me, Lily, remember.”

“Dammit Lily, why don’t you listen!? What can I do to make you believe me. It’s you I love.” I yelled. Before she could respond we heard a soft cry from the bedroom. “Ally!” Lily mumbled and rushed to get our daughter.

She came back with the five year old in her arms. Ally’s eyes flew open when she saw me. “Daddy!” She squealed and struggled to get out of her mother’s arms. Lily laughed softly and handed Ally to me. I stood there, a little awkward, with Ally in my arms, her arms around my neck, hugging me. I was a little overwhelmed, but hugged back.

Lily’s melodic laugh echoed in my ears as she watch me and Ally. “She likes you.” Lily concluded. “No? Really.” I said sarcastically, but smiled a little. “Hey sweetie.” I said to Ally. She turned to face her mom. “Mommy, can’t I stay here?” She begged.

Lily’s jaw dropped a little, surprised Ally was so comfortable with someone she’d never met, even though I was her father. “Uhm.. I… Maybe that’s not the best idea…. I mean…. I…” She stuttered and shot me a look. “Of course she can.” I chuckled and kissed Ally’s cheek, causing her to grin widely.

Lily looked a little worried. “Are you sure Alex? I mean, she’s a hand full.” I nodded. “Relax, we’ll be fine.” I put her down and turned on the TV so Lily and I could talk a little more.

We sat down at the kitchen table so we could still see Ally. “Hey Alex?” I turned to see Lily looking at the floor. “Are we good? I mean, this must be so weird for you, especially after what happened with Delilah and stuff….” Lily shifter uncomfortable in her chair.

I stood up and hugged her. “We’re good. We’re more than good actually. I have to agree it was a shock to see you again, but after you explained I realized I hadn’t gone crazy.” Lily giggled softly at my comment. “But I do think we have to prepare the rest for this, they’ll freak.” I chuckled, imaging their reaction.

Lily laughed with me. “Especially Jack. But seriously? How come you react so calm to all this?” She wondered out loud. “Honestly? Mostly because a part of me still can’t believe this is real, that this is actually happening. I’m afraid I might wake up any second now. “ I confessed.

Lily smiled and kissed my cheek. “Don’t worry, this is real and I’m not leaving again.” “Why did you came back?” Finally asking the question I had wanted to ask the second I saw her. “I found out what Delilah had done and when I knew my secret was out I figured I had to set things straight. You all knew I didn’t really die back then and I could let you all grieve over a lie, not again. I just want to make up for all the pain Delilah and I caused, so I came back.”

She looked at the clock. “I have to go. I still have a lot to unpack. Are you sure it’s okay Ally stays here?” I nodded. “Don’t worry, it’s fine. I actually glad I can spend some time with her.” Lily went to get Ally’s beg from her car and came back to say bye.

“Bye baby.” And she kissed the top of her hair. She handed me a piece of paper. “This is my address and phone number, call me if something is wrong, I don’t care what time it is. I’ll pick her up tomorrow, bye Lex.” And she headed out of the door.

“Lily! Wait.” I called and she stopped and turned. “What’s wrong Alex?” “I mean what I said earlier. I love you and I’m gonna do my best to prove it to you.” I said stubbornly. Lily didn’t say anything for a minute, but a small smile was tugging on the corners of her lips. “I’m sure you will.” And with that she walked away.