The Memories of Broken Dreams

Two hours later I was in the kitchen, trying to make dinner for me and Ally, making sure Ally was okay, ignoring my girlfriend’s, who I’d forgot about the past couple of hours and was most likely going to dump soon, calls.

I just finished the spaghetti I’d made for dinner when there was a knock on the door. Shit! I shot a look at Ally’s direction. How was I going to explain the little girl in my living room, without telling anyone about Lily?

There was another knock and I hurried to the door. “Alex! I knew you’re home. Open this goddamn door!” Amanda, my girlfriend of 4 months, yelled. I opened the door, revealing a very pissed Amanda. “Hey Mandy.” I said awkwardly, so much for ignoring her. “Don’t ‘hey Mandy’ me! We didn’t you return my calls?” “I’m sorry my phone was off.” I tried and she seemed to buy it seeing her angry scowl turned into a smile. “Oh, well that happens, anyways I have news!” She squealed and entered the apartment.

“Alex you’re not going to believe this, but I’m….” That was when she finally saw Ally. “Alex, why is there a little girl in your living room? You didn’t kidnap her or something did you?” Why? Why did I ever liked this girl? She was such an ditzy, airheaded drama queen.
“Amanda calm down, I didn’t kidnap anyone.” I sighed, tired of her dramatic behaviour.

Ally, who’d noticed Amanda standing next to me, waved at her. She looked at me. “Daddy, who is this?” “DADDY!” Amanda shrieked, staring at me with wide eyes. “Please Mandy sit down so I can explain.” I grabbed her hand, trying to lead her to the couch, but she pulled away. “No! Just tell me why there’s a four year old in your apartment calling you ‘daddy’!” “She’s five.” I said flatly, causing Amanda to explode. “Four, Five. What’s the fucking difference!?” “Alright, alright, calm down would ya.” I murmured and managed to pull her to the couch, pushing her down on it and I sat down next to her.

“Ally is my daughter.” I started, but Amanda interrupted me. “Daughter? Alex why didn’t you ever tell me?” She said, on the verge of tears. “I can’t believe you kept something like that from me! We’ve been dating for 4 months now, I think I fucking deserve to know things like that by now!”

“Dammit Amanda! Let me explain. And please mind your words, there’s a child here!” I hissed and she finally shut up. “Like I said, yes, she’s my daughter. Her mom was one of my best friends back in high school. We got drunk and I slept with her the summer after our freshman year. I left afterwards, I was in love with her, but was afraid to screw up our friendship. We got into a huge fight and she… move away.” I didn’t think it was necessary to tell her the whole story. “I saw her again today, apparently she’s back, and she told me about Ally.”

Amanda looked at me, then at Ally and back at me. “She’s adorable! But her mom is a bitch.” She said matter-of-factly. “Excuse me!?” I suddenly felt to urge to throw her out for saying something like that about Lily. “You don’t know shit about Lily or our situation back then!” I hissed.

Amanda’s eyes widened a little at my fierce reaction. “I’m sorry baby. I just think it’s unfair she kept you away from…. What’s her name again?” She cooed. “It’s Ally.” I sighed. Amanda scrunched her nose. “Ally? Really? It’s so… simple… and plain, like, didn’t she have any inspiration?”

Most people would be offended by this, but in the past 4 months I’d gotten used to Amanda’s behaviour. One of her many… talents (please note sarcasm) was being able to insult people without even trying to. Funny thing is she hardly ever noticed how rude and insulting the things she said were.

“Ally is short for Alexandra. Lily named her after me.” I explained. “Aaaw that’s so cute! But we’re not naming our baby something simple like that.” She warned me. “Our baby? What are you talking about?” I asked confused.

Amanda’s eyes lit up. “Oh that’s right, that what I came to tell you… I’m pregnant!” She yelled happily. “Isn’t this amazing? We can be a real family!” She squealed, her eyes teary. “W-what? You’re p-pregnant?” I stammered.

“Yes! Amazing right?” “R-right.” There was no way I could leave her now. Not because I wanted to be a family, but because I knew for a fact that if I did she would never let me anywhere near our baby. I’d already missed five, almost six years of Ally’s life, I wasn’t going to let that happen again.

“I really wanna stay and celebrate, but my mom is sick and I told her I’d stop by today. Besides I’m sure you want to spend some time with Alexandra. Bye baby.” Amanda kissed me an dashed out the door.

I slung back in the couch, completely dazed. How the hell had I managed to get myself into this mess? Ally snapped my out of my thoughts. “Daddy? Are you okay?” She crawled on my lap. “Yeah, or at least I think I am.” I muttered. “Let’s eat.”

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I put Ally in bed and she fell asleep pretty quick. I got a beer from the fridge and laid down on the couch, still trying to figure out how the hell I’d managed to knock Amanda up, I’d always been careful.

Suddenly the events of a couple of weeks ago rushed back. I’d gone out with the guys and instead of going home I went to Amanda’s house, completely wasted. I do remember having sex with her, but I couldn’t remember using a condom. I thought I did, but I wasn’t sure, guess I finally know the answer to that question.

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The next morning I woke up to someone poking my cheek. I moaned softly and turned around, not wanting to wake up. Suddenly a voice I didn’t expect filed my ears. “Sorry Ally, but I think he’s dead. He’s not waking up.” The words were followed by Ally’s softly giggles. Not expecting someone to be there I jolted awake, but because I’d fallen asleep in the couch the previous night that action caused me to fall down on the floor.

My eyes snapped open to see my best friend, Jack Barakat, hovering over me, with Ally in his arms. “Hey, he woke up. Nice job Ally.” He said and high fived her.

I groaned. “Jack, what the fuck are you doing here?” “Actually, the question here is why is there a little girl in your apartment calling you daddy?” I stayed silent as Jack continued. “And why does she say Lily is her mother?”

“Does it even matter.” I huffed and sat up. Jack gave me a weird look. “What’s wrong with you?” I buried my face in my hands. “Mandy is pregnant.”

“Wow. So what are you gonna do?” “Honestly I don’t know. I don’t love Amanda, she annoys me beyond believe, but I can’t break up with her. If I do she’ll go out of her away to keep me away from the baby. I already missed so much of Ally’s childhood, I’m not gonna let that happen again.”

“Yeah about that. I think you have some explaining to do.” Jack said and looked at me, waiting for an explanation. I rubbed my neck. “Yeah, about that….”