The Memories of Broken Dreams

“Yeah, about that…” I tried to figure out how to explain the situation without telling Jack about Lily.”One night stand going wrong?” I said, but it sounded like a question. “What? Who? When?” “Back in high school, one of the girls I slept with ended up pregnant, she came back to town recently.”

Jack’s jaw dropped. “What the fuck Alex! How do you even know she’s telling the truth? Why did she came back now? Now that the band is successful and were famous. Don’t you think it’s a little suspicious?” “Jack calm down. I know it weird, but believe me, Ally is definitely mine. I know the girl, I remember sleeping with her and Ally is the right age. Just take my word on this, please.”

Jack gave me a doubtful look, but also know he wasn’t going to win this fight. “Fine. So who is the girl?” “No one important. Just drop it okay. I don’t want to talk about it!” He said harshly and took Ally to the kitchen to make breakfast.

Jack knew better than to push me she he changed the subject. “So, does Amanda know?” “Yeah, so came by last night. She saw Ally and freaked, thought I’d kidnapped her.” “Wow, she even stupider than I thought.” Jack snickered. “I seriously don’t understand what you even saw in her.” “Nice body and a good fuck.” I shrugged. “Just like all the other ones, except Amanda now is pregnant.”

Jack patted my shoulder in sympathy . “Sorry to say dude, but you fucked up.” “Wow Jack, you really know how to cheer someone up, don’t you?” I remarked sarcastically. “Hey, I wasn’t trying to cheer you up.” Jack defended himself. “I’m just stating a fact! First you have a 5 year old daughter and now your ‘casual fuck’ got knocked up. That kinda my definition of fucking up.”

I huffed and ignored him, making pancakes for Ally who was sitting on the counter next to me. “Daddy, why did you fuck up?” She asked. “That’s grown up stuff honey and don’t say ‘fuck’ it’s a bad word.” “But Jack says it all the time.” She argued. “Yes, but it’s Jack, he can’t help it. Just don’t say it anymore okay? You’re mom’s gonna kill me if she finds out.” “Okay daddy.” I helped her of the counter and she went to the living room to watch some TV.

I glared at Jack. “You’re unbelievable! You’ve been here for what? One hour? And you’ve already corrupted my child.” “It’s a talent.” He grinned and I threw a spatula at him. “You can say that. But seriously, try to watch what you’re saying.” Jack laughed. “Seriously Alex, with you as her father and me as her uncle, swearing is probably not the worst thing she’s going to do in her life.” “Uncle?” I raised an eyebrow. “Yeah! If you’re her dad that makes me her uncle.” He explained. “Uncle Jack.” He mused. “I like the sound of that.” “Yeah, now that I think about it, it does. I really think you should stick to that, you know, stay away from the whole ‘daddy’ thing all together. Because I seriously can’t imagine having a mini version of you running around.” I teased.

Jack gasped in fake hurt. “Like having a mini, female you running around is any better!” He looked at Ally. “That girl is going to break so many hearts when she gets older.” “Why would you say that?” I didn’t really like the thought of my daughter already having a future reputation. “Like I said, she’s a Gaskarth, she has your charm. I wanna bet she’s gonna be the female you when she grows up.”

I flinched at the thought. There was no way I was going to let my daughter mess up her life like I’d done. “God, I hope not.” I muttered.

I finished making breakfast and according to the fact both Ally and Jack were stuffing their faces with pancakes they were pretty good.

“You’re not gonna eat?” “Nah, I’m not hungry.” I said and took a sip of my coffee. When Ally was done I got her dressed and she played in the living room with her dolls. Jack was looking at her, a thoughtful look on his face. “You know, if I didn’t know any better I would say she’s Lily’s daughter.”

I paled, not sure what to say. Jack took my response the wrong way. “Oh shit, I’m sorry Alex. I didn’t mean to say that, it just slipped. I know how much you still miss her.” He said, a panicky etch to his voice, like he was afraid I might break down or something, like I once did a few weeks after Delilah’s dead, when I thought she was Lily.

I gave him a weak smile. “It’s okay. I know what you mean though.” I looked at Ally. “But that’s insane.” Jack laughed, sounding a little uncomfortable, like he wasn’t sure how to act around me now that he brought Lily up. “It is. Anyways, are you, like, gonna take care of her?” “What? No. Her mom is picking her up later. Ally just really wanted to stay over, so I let her.”

“Spending some quality time with your daughter.” Jack nodded. “Well Alex, she’s adorable. I can’t wait to meet her mom.” I shook my head. “Not gonna happen Jack. Li.. Ally’s mom doesn’t really want anyone knowing. I’m not even sure if she wants to be a part of my life.” “Why not?” “She doesn’t really want anyone to know and the last time I saw her didn’t go very…. smooth. I just wanna talk to her about all this first before introducing her to anyone.”

“So we are gonna meet her?” “Well, yeah, I guess. I mean she’s the mother of my child, I want her in my life, even if we’re just friends.” “’just’ friends? Alex do you have feelings for this chick?” “I… I.. Yeah, no. I don’t know.” I buried my head in my hands, getting really frustrated. “It’s Lily, okay! Lily is Alexandra’s mother! She died die. The girl we thought was Lily was actually Lily’s jealous cousin Delilah.” I blurt out.

“What the fuck Alex!? Have you gone crazy?” Jack shook me a little, “No!” I hissed. “Just let me explain.” So I told Jack everything that happened last night.

“Holy shit!” He yelled when I was finished. “Lily is still alive?” He sat down on the couch, dumbstruck. “Yep.” I said, popping the p. “And that little girl over there is the living prove.”

A mischievous grin appeared on Jack’s face. “Can we go see her? I mean you have her number and address right? Just call her and tell her you’re dropping Ally off.” I shook my head. “She’ll kill me when she finds out I told you.” Jack grinned wider. “Too bad.” He chuckled and waved the piece of paper with Lily’s address in front of my face. “Jack! No!” I screamed, but he was already out the door. I picked up Ally and sprinted after him.

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Ten minutes later I’d parked my car in front of Lily’s apartment. Jack was already inside. I had no idea on with number she lived. But when I entered the building I heard a scream and a loud thud. I sprinted up the stairs and saw the first door on my right wide open. I peaked inside and saw Lily laying on the floor with Jack on top of her. I guess he knocked her over when he burst into her apartment. “Jack! Get off her. You’re killing her.” I pushed Jack off Lily and helped her up. “Lil I’m sorry. I accidently slipped and he stole the paper with you address on it. I couldn’t stop him.”

Lily smiled. “That’s okay.” She took Ally from me. “Heey baby. Had fun with daddy?” “Yes mommy. And Jack is really nice. But Mandy is not.” She said.

“Mandy who’s Mandy?” Lily asked confused. “Uhm, she’s my girlfriend.” I confessed. Lily’s jaw dropped, obviously thinking back at last night. “Alex can we talk?” She said sternly and went to the kitchen. I sighed and followed her. How was I going to talk myself out of this one.