I Wish Forever Would Hurry up and End
The Break-Up
Mitchell Raymond has been my best friend since kindergarten, when our moms realized they lived next door to each other, could set up a carpool, and push their kids together to make them the best of friends. And lucky for them, that's exactly what Mitchell and I were. Best friends.
I couldn't deny Mitchell was attractive. Short, brown hair, toned body, and tan skin. And I had gone through a little phase where I liked him. But it was only a couple weeks, and then it was over. We were too close to be in love with each other. It would just make things weird.
When I started going out with Jarvis, four months ago, Mitchell had taken an immediate dislike to him. And as of now, I can't say I disagree with him. But Jarvis and I have a connection. So yes, when he hurts me, I agree with Mitch. But there are other times too, when Jarvis is being so sweet, and telling me how beautiful I am, and how he couldn't be with anyone else.
The morning after that night's beating, I awoke to a sore body and a loud alarm clock. I had forgotten it was Monday that morning, and I would have to get up immediately if I wanted to cover up my bruises. I threw on a loose, long sleeved tee to cover up my arms and baggy jeans because truthfully, I couldn't handle them being too tight with the cuts on my legs. I spent twenty minutes in the bathroom with my concealer, trying to cover up any trace of Jarvis. Because that was my secret. And my secret alone.
Mitch didn't know exactly what Jarvis did to me, but he definitely had his suspicions. He noticed when he would hug me and I would flinch slightly, his hug crushing my delicate, battered ribcage. He would always ask me how I got hurt, but I would lie and say clumsy me fell down the stairs again.
At school, Jarvis was the epitome of a perfect boyfriend. He'd walk me to class, hold my hand everywhere, and brag to his friends about how amazing his girlfriend was. I wish someone would notice. I wish Mitch would truly realize how I was lying through my teeth when would say I was ok. And I wish people wouldn't think of Jarvis as a perfect boyfriend.
But every time I thought these thoughts, I would shake them away. Because Jarvis loved me. And I loved Jarvis.
It was the middle of tenth grade when I was sent to the hospital from one of Jarvis' attacks. I panicked, and not because I was badly injured. One of my ribs were broken, and I wasn't sure how to explain how it got that way. Not to mention my face was all black and blue as well, so I was afraid that the nurse would definitely suspect it when it was Jarvis who brought me in.
The nurse who examined me eyed Jarvis very suspiciously the whole time, but managed to accept my usual "I fell down the stairs-really hard" story. My parents weren't home that day, but got to the hospital as soon as they heard. When they saw Jarvis there, they immediately got upset, but didn't show it and instead just fawned over me, making sure I was comfortable.
The second every one left the room, Jarvis, who had been lurking in the corner, made his way over to me. "Babe, I am so sorry."
"You said it would never happen again."
"Raven, I know, but, I let my anger control me. I know that's bad. I shouldn't do it. But... I just can't afford to lose you to that Mitch kid."
"For the thousandth time, I DON'T LIKE MITCH!" I screamed at Jarvis, causing him to flinch and move back just a bit.
"Look, babe, I know, but the jealousy, it just consumes me! I can't help myself! I'm sorry!"
"No Jarvis. We're finished. Through. I can't live like this anymore. Look at me. Lying in a hospital bed, with a broken rib. Just go." He started to protest, but I yelled at him, "Go now, before I call every nurse in this building in to here!" His eyes narrowed at this.
He spit out, "I thought our love was stronger then this. But one broken rib and you're out? You little bitch. Good luck finding someone else to love you, you fat, ugly, whore!"
His words stung. A lot. But I shook them off. That night, I lay in bed, tossing and turning throughout the night. I couldn't sleep, Jarvis was filling my brain. Our first kiss... the fireworks that had exploded through my brain when he told me he loved me... Our first time ever having sex, how he had taken my virginity so roughly, and so passionately. And then there were the fights, the bruises, the bandages.
I needed him. Jarvis loved me. And regardless of what he did to me, he was right. I would never find someone better. I needed Jarvis too.
I couldn't deny Mitchell was attractive. Short, brown hair, toned body, and tan skin. And I had gone through a little phase where I liked him. But it was only a couple weeks, and then it was over. We were too close to be in love with each other. It would just make things weird.
When I started going out with Jarvis, four months ago, Mitchell had taken an immediate dislike to him. And as of now, I can't say I disagree with him. But Jarvis and I have a connection. So yes, when he hurts me, I agree with Mitch. But there are other times too, when Jarvis is being so sweet, and telling me how beautiful I am, and how he couldn't be with anyone else.
The morning after that night's beating, I awoke to a sore body and a loud alarm clock. I had forgotten it was Monday that morning, and I would have to get up immediately if I wanted to cover up my bruises. I threw on a loose, long sleeved tee to cover up my arms and baggy jeans because truthfully, I couldn't handle them being too tight with the cuts on my legs. I spent twenty minutes in the bathroom with my concealer, trying to cover up any trace of Jarvis. Because that was my secret. And my secret alone.
Mitch didn't know exactly what Jarvis did to me, but he definitely had his suspicions. He noticed when he would hug me and I would flinch slightly, his hug crushing my delicate, battered ribcage. He would always ask me how I got hurt, but I would lie and say clumsy me fell down the stairs again.
At school, Jarvis was the epitome of a perfect boyfriend. He'd walk me to class, hold my hand everywhere, and brag to his friends about how amazing his girlfriend was. I wish someone would notice. I wish Mitch would truly realize how I was lying through my teeth when would say I was ok. And I wish people wouldn't think of Jarvis as a perfect boyfriend.
But every time I thought these thoughts, I would shake them away. Because Jarvis loved me. And I loved Jarvis.
It was the middle of tenth grade when I was sent to the hospital from one of Jarvis' attacks. I panicked, and not because I was badly injured. One of my ribs were broken, and I wasn't sure how to explain how it got that way. Not to mention my face was all black and blue as well, so I was afraid that the nurse would definitely suspect it when it was Jarvis who brought me in.
The nurse who examined me eyed Jarvis very suspiciously the whole time, but managed to accept my usual "I fell down the stairs-really hard" story. My parents weren't home that day, but got to the hospital as soon as they heard. When they saw Jarvis there, they immediately got upset, but didn't show it and instead just fawned over me, making sure I was comfortable.
The second every one left the room, Jarvis, who had been lurking in the corner, made his way over to me. "Babe, I am so sorry."
"You said it would never happen again."
"Raven, I know, but, I let my anger control me. I know that's bad. I shouldn't do it. But... I just can't afford to lose you to that Mitch kid."
"For the thousandth time, I DON'T LIKE MITCH!" I screamed at Jarvis, causing him to flinch and move back just a bit.
"Look, babe, I know, but the jealousy, it just consumes me! I can't help myself! I'm sorry!"
"No Jarvis. We're finished. Through. I can't live like this anymore. Look at me. Lying in a hospital bed, with a broken rib. Just go." He started to protest, but I yelled at him, "Go now, before I call every nurse in this building in to here!" His eyes narrowed at this.
He spit out, "I thought our love was stronger then this. But one broken rib and you're out? You little bitch. Good luck finding someone else to love you, you fat, ugly, whore!"
His words stung. A lot. But I shook them off. That night, I lay in bed, tossing and turning throughout the night. I couldn't sleep, Jarvis was filling my brain. Our first kiss... the fireworks that had exploded through my brain when he told me he loved me... Our first time ever having sex, how he had taken my virginity so roughly, and so passionately. And then there were the fights, the bruises, the bandages.
I needed him. Jarvis loved me. And regardless of what he did to me, he was right. I would never find someone better. I needed Jarvis too.