Whatever It Takes

The morning sun shined through the curtains, radiating streaks of light upon Arianna’s sleepy face. Her eyes fluttered opened as she felt the soft comfort of the pillow beneath her head. She closed her eyes momentarily, taking in the last few seconds of sleep. Her mind was instantly filled with so many thoughts that she couldn’t separate reality from her dreams.

She almost doubted the events of last night, when she suddenly felt a hand wrapped around her waist. She turned over slowly in bed to find a sleeping Patrick peacefully beside her. She lay in bed, her body turned completely to face him, as her head was perched up on her arm. It took everything in her not to squeal with joy as she starred at him, her happiness bubbling over with excitement.

Every little detail about him just made her heart beat faster. She was in awe of him if she was going to be honest yet she would never admit that to his face. She had missed so much about him, from his voice to his eyes to his smile. She found herself more than once lost in concentration as her mind drifted to memorizing her favorite parts about him.

Just as her mind came back down back to reality, Patrick’s eyes fluttered opened. They took a second to adjust before they found Arianna’s smiling face, which was now covered in a pink blush.

“Watching me sleep huh? I always knew you found me cute,” Patrick told her as he broke out in a wide grin. “Oh God,” Arianna laughed as she turned her body away from him and lay flat on her back. “No, wait, you don’t get to leave so quickly,” he teased as he took his arm that was around her waist and flipped her back over to face him.

She allowed him to manipulate her body, as he turned her back to face him. Her head rested lazily on the pillow as she felt his hand caress her side. He let his fingers trickle down to her right underneath her hipbone. The touch alone sent shivers up and down her spine. Their eyes locked on one another, instantly sharing a hundred thoughts between them.

“Good morning,” he said in a quiet whisper as he propped himself up on one arm and leaned over. He kept his other hand around her waist as he pulled her in closer, his face leaning down to reach hers. Her hands scooped his face as his lips found her in a soft embrace.

“Good morning,” she replied as he pulled away, a permanent smile stuck on her face. He leaned back against his arm and starred at her, happiness shining through his smile. “I love hearing you say that,” he told her as his hands played with the hem of her shirt. “I love being able to say that,” she told him as she rubbed his arm with her hand in a loving manner.

“I wish things could just stay like this,” he said suddenly as he lay back down in bed on his back, his face now studying the ceiling with a sad expression.

She pulled her body over and scooted in beside him, his arm moving easily to give her access. She placed her hand on his chest and rested her chin above it as she starred at his face, which continuously looked at the ceiling. His arm moved itself around her body and pulled her in close as a natural reaction.

“They will,” she told him firmly, her eyes studying his face. “You don’t know that,” he responded to her as he glanced her way. “Once everyone finds out about us…”he continued, his face filling with worry. “It’ll change everything. Everyone will get involved”.

She reached her other hand up and ran it along his chin. “I don’t care about everyone else. I care about you,” she said simply, as she saw his eyes fill with relief. “I won’t let them change us Pat,” she continued, “you have to trust me when I say that I can handle this. And that nothing will break this”.

Patrick’s free hand reached up to grab hers from his face, as his fingers intertwined with hers and rested against his chest. She could feel him give her hand a light squeeze. “If anyone ever did anything to hurt you…”he began, as he suddenly stopped speaking.

She understood that this was hard for him, a lot harder than she had imagined. He was really letting her in to a piece of him he rarely let others see. “Don’t worry about me,” she told him, “I’ll be fine as long as I have you”.

Arianna paused momentarily, debating if she should say the next part. “Will take things slow ok? No rush, no pressure, no added stress. Just you and me. And if that means keeping this on the down low until someone figures us out than I’m fine with that”.

“No Ari,” Patrick said in a rush, “I don’t want to hide you like I’m ashamed you. That’s not it at all. I would never want to do that. I’ll gladly tell the world about us right now if you asked me too”. His face was filled with concern now, scarred that he had given her the wrong impression.

She pushed herself up, her elbow now resting against the bed as a support as his arm was still around her waist. “Shh, calm down” she said in a soft tone as her eyes caught his. “I’ll do whatever it takes to help you adjust to this long distance relationship. It’s your first time attempting something this big and I want to take every precaution I can to help you not worry so much”.

He opened his mouth to speak but she put a finger up to his lips to silence him. “Trust me Patrick,” she told him as her eyes gave him the final reassurance he needed. “Will make this work. That’s what I promise you”. With that she lay her head back down against his chest. She heard his whisper “thank you” as he arm tightly wrapped around her small body.

Arianna’s eyes glanced around Marissa’s guest bedroom, as they suddenly fell on the clock on the dresser. She sighed in sadness as she realized his flight was leaving in a few hours. She closed her eyes and let her ears take in the sound of his beating heart as her head rested against his chest. She would deal with him leaving after. Right now all she wanted to do was just lay here in his arms.

***

Arianna shuffled through her closet, looking for her favorite fitted black silk tank top. She grabbed a shirt and starred at it for a second before throwing it on top of the growing pile of shirts on her bed. Although she was becoming more discouraged and frustrated as she kept looking, that permanent smile never left her face.

It had been two weeks since Patrick showed up and surprised her that fateful night. Two weeks since they had decided to give this a try and be a couple, working through the long distance. It was also the first time she could remember smiling for two weeks straight and actually feeling as happy as she looked.

It saddened her that he had to go almost as quickly as he came but she understood. It sunk in even more though when she dropped him off at the airport and couldn’t kiss him goodbye at the gate.

She was the one who told him they would lay low for as long as they could. Arianna regretted it though as soon as she realized that entailed no public displays of affection. It was then that she realized that this would take a lot of getting use to, as it somehow wasn’t as easy as she imagined it would be.

But she didn’t care to be honest. When all those little things began to make her worry, all she needed to do was think of him and her head was at ease. Hearing his voice or seeing him was the perfect drug. He did everything in his power to make her feel special and to let her know he cared, and that was more than enough for her.

“Finally!” she cried out as she pulled the shirt off the hanger and starred at it in triumph. She pulled off her shirt and threw it on the ground, while slipping on the black shirt. She walked over to her full-length mirror to see her final outfit.

Her friends were going out tonight to celebrate one last time before the hell of midterms began. She couldn’t remember the last time she had just been out for the hell of it with her friends so she was excited. What was not so exciting was that Jordan would be there.

She sighed at the thought of him as she slipped off her shorts and pulled on her navy blue skinny jeans. After Patrick left Monday morning, she found herself faced with the harsh reality of having to confront Jordan. She got in her car after dropping Patrick off and drove to Jordan’s house only to find herself doing an illegal u-turn and heading back to Arianna’s.

She couldn’t face him, as horrible as that sounded. So instead she chickened out and did the only thing she could: she called him. She wasn’t even sure what was going through her head as she told him they needed to break up. He asked her why and was confused and hurt by her sudden change of heart. Arianna’s excuse was illogical she knew that as she made up a lie on the spot. But she couldn’t tell him the truth could she? That she cheated on him by kissing Patrick the first chance she got and that they were finally together again. But was it cheating if your heart was never in it to begin with?

She shook her head at the flashback and straightened out her outfit. She was going to be a big girl and face the consequences of her actions. She just hoped he didn’t hate her too much.

Arianna grabbed her phone and her purse, shoving in some last minute things before walking out the door. She texted Marissa that she was leaving her house and would meet her in front of the bar in 15 minutes.

Just as she sat down and turned on the ignition, her phone’s ring tone blasted through the silent car causing her to jump out of her skin. She really needed a drink to take this edge off. But the perfect antidote was on the other side of the phone.

“Hi,” she greeted him as she let out a sigh of relief. “Happy to hear from me? I know, my voice is pretty sexy,” Patrick said smugly as he laughed at his own joke. “I find it amusing that you think you’re so funny” she retorted, as she felt his nerves tense up again.

“What’s wrong?” he asked automatically, suddenly sensing she was upset. She turned on her car and pulled out of her driveway. “Ugh, I have to face Jordan now” she told him as she merged onto the highway.

“Why are you seeing him for?” Patrick asked as nonchalantly as he could, although his jealousy was evident. “I’m going out with my friends remember?” she told him, choosing to ignore his irrational jealousy. She understood where it came from, although she agreed she’d never let that happen to her.

“Yeah, I remember…I just didn’t realize you guys were still friends” he confessed, as he sighed. “We’re not friends but we still share the same group of friends. To be honest he’s probably going to ignore me or give me dirty looks all night” she confessed to him, hoping to ease his tension.

“Or he’ll be starring at you all night wondering how to get you back” he said without thinking. “Sorry, I’m not helping, I know,” he said immediately as guilt filled him for saying that to her.

She sighed in response and shook her head although he couldn’t see her. She felt guilty in a way, hearing how jealous and upset he was. She knew it was hard for him to not be able to see her all the time and have her ex boyfriend be around. And he was trying so hard to be supportive and understanding.

“Don’t be sorry, I know it’s a crappy situation,” she told him, “do you not want me to go?”. She heard him sigh from the other side, “no Ari, I’d never ask you or want you to do that. Go have fun. You deserve it. And if he gives you a hard time with anything, ignore him. He’s just bitter”.

As she pulled up to the bar parking lot, she felt herself smile. This was why their relationship worked. Because behind all that jealousy and long-distance issues, there was this underlying connecting that held them together. He cared about her and always put her first, and she would do the same for him. They never held one another back regardless of how they felt.

“Thanks baby,” she replied softly, as she played with her keys. “And if you need someone to beat him up, I’m sure I can rally a few of the guys and make a special trip down there” he added causing her to laugh. He smiled as he heard the sound of her chuckle, happy that he could relieve some of her tension.

“I miss you,” she said after her she regained her composure. “I know. I miss you too” he replied simply, nothing more needing to be said, as they understood each other. “So, what are you doing on this fine Saturday evening?” she asked him.

“Going for supper soon with some of the guys and then headed out to the bar for a drink. Early night though I got a game tomorrow” he told her. She suddenly felt a twinge of something in the pit of her stomach.

“Oh ok, well have fun” she tried to say as cheerfully as she could, “tell the guys I say hi and miss them”.

“Miss them more than me?” Patrick teased as she tried to ease the tension he knew was building up inside of her. “Possibly,” she responded, giving him a piece of his own medicine. “Anyways I’ll let you go because I just got here. I’ll talk to you either later or tomorrow ok?” she told him, as she got ready to get out of her car.

“Ari, if you need anything you know I’m here. Call me later I don’t care if I’m out,” he reassured her. “Thanks Pat,” she replied, “Have a good night,” she said as they hung up.

She sat in her car for a few minutes in silence trying to shake away the jealousy and uneasiness she felt. Trusting people didn’t come naturally to her, not when she had been burnt so many times. What she really wanted to ask was if Jamie would be there, if he would be seeing her. But she knew she couldn’t do that. He had given her no reason to doubt it. She needed to trust him and let him make his own choices.

As she got out of the car she wished she could evaporate and be back home in bed. Thoughts of Jamie and Jordan twisted her stomach into knots, as she opened the bar door and stepped inside.