Whatever It Takes

Watching hockey players skate was really a magnificent thing. The way they turned and glided, intertwined with each other and yet never saying a word. You could feel their intensity as they moved across the ice. The pressure in their blood rising as they always tried to get that one shot to go in. It left you in a trance if you starred at them long enough.

That’s how Arianna felt. The Hawks had been running drills and plays for the past hour or so, not quite sure as she had lost track. She had started out just reading her magazine until she glanced up to watch them. When her eyes caught sight of Patrick though, she was a goner. There was something so magical about watching him play. She would never get enough of seeing every expression on his face and watch the wheels turn in his brain.

The stands were quite empty, just a few players’ wives there for moral support. Arianna wasn’t sure what kind of support they were giving when they were comparing shoes, but she didn’t judge. She knew what she was there for and that’s all that mattered.

She was friendly though and waved hello to all the other women she recognized, chatting long enough with them before the boys came out to be polite and not come off as a snob. There were a few girls she didn’t recognize but she wasn’t too concerned. They couldn’t be anyone too important she thought to herself as she took her seat.

By now her fingers were frozen and her butt was numb but she didn’t care all that much. She glanced down at her watch and realized there were only a few minutes left. The sound of laughter twisted her attention back to the ice where she saw Jon and Patrick share a laugh. The sound of Patrick’s voice made her smile instantly, her heart fluttering as it heard the loveable noise.

“Excuse me,” a female voice interrupted her thoughts as she quickly turned her head away from the ice. Standing before her were two girls that looked familiar to her, although she didn’t know why. Arianna’s eyebrows pulled together as they thought hard about where she had seen them before.

“I’m Abby’s cousin, Katie” the tall blonde one said politely as she realized Arianna didn’t recognize her, “we met at the house party a few months ago. And this is my friend Amber”.

Suddenly it clicked in Arianna’s head. She knew where she had seen these girls. They had been the ones talking to Patrick that day at the party while she was inside with Viktor talking. The ones she had asked Viktor about when she had felt a slight jealousy creep up inside her.

“Oh right, hi!” Arianna said bright as she gave them a warm smile. Her smile faded slightly as she watched Katie force a smile, her fingers twitching by her side. Arianna glanced to the leggy brunette beside Katie whom she now knew to be Amber.

Her hair was long and wavy, an auburn tint ever so present in her dark glossy hair to give it that mysterious allure. Her eyes were dark green and serious, even though she had a forced smile upon her pretty face. She glanced at Katie nervously before turning back to look at Arianna with a serious expression.

“I have a question I need to ask you,” Amber blurted out as Katie reached up and grabbed her elbow, almost as if asking her to stop. Arianna felt a sudden burst of nerves crash through her veins as she looked between the two girls.

“Okay…sure thing. What’s up?” she asked as politely as she could, her hands involuntarily bunching into a fist.

“Are you dating Patrick? Kane?” Amber asked her quickly, her eyes darting back in forth between Arianna and the ice where the boys were finishing up. Arianna could feel herself relax as she suddenly realized this girl must have been a curious fan.

“Yeah, actually I am,” she laughed politely as she gave the girls a smile and glanced to the ice to see her boyfriend. Within seconds she spotted Patrick, who was busy fixing his stick at center ice. He was adorable when he was concentrating.

“There’s something I need to tell you,” Amber continued as she became pale, her eyes though raging with emotions. “Amber, stop…” Katie threatened as she glanced nervously to the ice. Arianna’s throat began to tighten, all of a sudden aware that this was not a fan.

“These past few weeks Patrick has been texting me. Actually he’s been texting me ever since the week after that party…” Amber explained as she took out her phone. Arianna’s hand gripped the head of the seat, her stomach becoming instantly a mess, making her feel nauseous.

“At first it was friendly messages and then it started to become flirty…” Amber continued as she scrolled through her phone. She suddenly stopped as she found what she was looking for and looked up at Arianna, sorrow filling her eyes.

“He invited me over one night…I remember seeing you at Abby’s and I asked him what about his girlfriend…he told me he didn’t have one, at least nothing that was serious. He said he didn’t really know what you guys were anymore,” Amber said, her voice was raw and hoarse from emotion. She paused almost unsure if she should continue.

“I genuinely thought you guys were over…we had gone out a few nights before with some friends and we just got along so well…I went to his house and I’m sorry. I didn’t know…we kissed but that was it. I told him I wanted to take it slow and so I left and then I saw you here and…I’m so sorry. I just wanted you to know what he’s been doing” Amber finished as she exhaled loudly, rushing through the last few words.

Arianna couldn’t think or see straight. She was numb. Absolutely numb to the core.

“Why should I believe you?” she whispered to Amber, not bothering to look at her face as she spoke. She starred straight ahead into space, her brain trying to grasp everything.

“Here…I kept these,” Amber offered as she handed her the cell phone. Arianna glanced up quickly before accepting the phone gingerly in her hand, almost as if it were a loaded gun. It felt heavy in her palm as she turned it toward and read it.

She felt the waves crush down on her lungs and suck out all the oxygen as she read through the messages. Her mind spinning as she scrolled further and further past every message, waiting for the one to say it was all a joke. Her eyes began to fill with tears to the rim as she read every word, every time he called her “baby”. She suddenly felt the vomit rise in her throat as she read another message.
“Cold? Come over and I’ll keep you warm ;)”

“I…I need to go,” she said shakily as she handed back the phone to Amber. She wasn’t sure how she managed to stand when she couldn’t feel her legs, but adrenaline rushed through her veins. She pushed past both girls, ignoring their pleas of sorry and if she was ok. No she wasn’t ok.

She raced down the stairs of the stands, right down to the bottom. She jumped over the bar and landed in the walk away that led to the boys’ locker room. What was she doing? She couldn’t even think. All she could feel was the suffocation that arose around her. She knew they were ending in seconds their practice and she needed to go. She couldn’t see him. She needed to leave. Now.

Arianna raced through the hallway up to the dressing room doors, pushing the heavy steel as she made her way inside the locker room. She found his stall and paused for a few seconds, unsure if she wanted to cry or scream. Instead she reached down and pulled the sweater he had given her all those months ago offer her tiny body. She hung it from the hook in his stand, letting the fabric go between her fingers and she suddenly felt a pain to the heart.

The boys laughter began to the fill the room as she heard them quickly approaching through the dressing room. As they began to pile you she quickly made her way to the exit door at the other side that would bring her back stage and near the parking lot.

Some of the boys yelled hi to her, confused slightly what was she doing there although happy to see her. She could barley muster a smile as she forced her way to the door praying he wouldn’t see her. But before she could escape a soft hand gripped her elbow, gently pulling her back.

“Hey! Where you going?” a bright smiley Patrick asked as he leaned in to give her kiss. She instinctively turned to give him her cheek, her face burning from disgust as his lips touched her skin. Patrick looked confused as he pulled away, studying her face to see what was the matter.

“I just need to go do some errands,” she mumbled, unsure what she was even suppose to say at this point.

“By yourself? Just wait a few minutes and I’ll be ready to go,” Patrick began as he turned to face his stall.

“No its okay, I’d rather be alone…just need some girl stuff,” she continued as she watched him grab the sweater she left hanging for him in his stall. He glanced back at her, confused and upset by her newfound urge to be away from him.

“Okay I guess…if you’re sure baby,” he said as sweetly as he could, hoping that if he was nice enough she would come to her senses.

The word “baby” triggered something in Arianna’s head. She could feel the rage pour over her, swim through her veins and cloud her vision. Who the fuck did he think he was calling her baby after he called that other girl the same thing a few weeks before?

“I’m sure,” Arianna said politely as she walked towards the door. She stopped as she got to the doorframe, her hand lingering on it for support as she turned back to face him. She didn’t care at this point if the rest of the guys heard. Let them.

“Oh by the way, Patrick?” she called over all the boys’ ruckus, her voice sweet like sugar. He turned to face her, his face lit up at the sound of his name coming from her so smoothly.

“I left you the sweater so you could give it to Amber…I know how much you’d hate for her to be cold,” she spat at him, her voice hard and cold. The entire locker room seemed to quiet down to a mere buzz as eyes shifted back and forth, unsure what was happening. But Arianna kept her eyes on Patrick. She wanted him to know that she knew. That this was over.

His eyes went from confused to hit with realization in .25 seconds. Before he could even react though she had taken off out of the door. Patrick instinctively ran after her, ignore the questions that were coming from his teammates, his heart ready to come out of his mouth.

“Ari! Wait! Please! Where are you going?” Patrick yelled after her in the quiet hallway as he followed her body outside into the backstage arena. He felt like he was going to puke, the nerves and the shakes having taken over all of his body.

Arianna stopped dead in her tracks as she heard him so close. Her body frozen, unsure what would happen if she actually turned to face him. She could feel the tears wanting to come out and fall like a waterfall down her face but she wouldn’t let them. Not in front of him.

“Babe..” he whispered softly as he took a step towards her. As he went to grab her hand, before his fingers even touched her skin she spun around hard on her heels to face him.

“Don’t you fucking dare ever call me that again,” she spat out, her voice louder than she expected it would be, the sound echoing off the bare walls. Patrick felt his stomach rumble, his insides turn as he starred into her eyes. They weren’t the kind soft eyes he had come to love and that let him into her heart. Instead they were dark, hollow, pierced with such hatred it could kill you.

“I can’t even look at you, I’m disgusted by you,” Arianna began as she took a step towards him. Her body stopped as she realized she was getting too close. She needed to be far away from him right now. She needed to get the hell away. A plane back to Toronto would work best.

“Ari, please…wait let me explain,…”Patrick begged as he grabbed her hand in his. She yanked it out hard, taking it back to her side in one swift motion.

“I don’t need to hear an explanation Patrick,” she told him, “just tell me she’s lying. Tell me it didn’t happen and that you haven’t been doing this to god knows how many others girls as well. Tell me I wasn’t right about you from the beginning, that you’re only some dumb jock who just gets girls to sleep with him and then throws them away. Tell me I’m not an idiot who believed you and who flew out here to surprise you and cheer you up, to try and save our relationship. Tell me Patrick, because I’m waiting.”

Patrick tried to swallow the lump he felt in his throat, but it wouldn’t budge. He couldn’t breathe; he didn’t know what to do. Never in his life had he felt like such a fuck up, until now that is. He looked down at the floor, unsure where to even begin.

After what felt like years he finally glanced up at her. At the face he loved so much and wished he could wake up beside every day. Her face was stained with one single tear that had managed to escape. As much as he wanted to lie to her to keep her, he knew he couldn’t anymore.

“I can’t tell you that Ari…because it wouldn’t be true…”he whispered softly, his voice cracking as he spoke. “Please just give me a chance to explain…”he begged as he took a step forward.

Arianna instinctively took a step back, her body aching to be away from him. Her heart broken as she heard him utter those words. This had all been a lie.

“It’s over Patrick. I’m done with you. For good. I just hope this was all worth it…don’t ever speak or contact me again,” she finally said as she gave him one last blank stare. There were so many thoughts running around in her head, she felt light-headed as she tried to make sense of it all. Was this really how they were to end?

She didn’t give him a chance to speak as she turned around and quickly ran out the exit and into the hot sunny day. Patrick stood there stunned, tears filling the rims of his eyes, unsure if any of this was real or not.

“What the fuck did you do?” a voice asked from behind him. He turned to see most of the guys standing at the entrance of locker room door. He saw the looks of disappointment on their face. Some even had that look of knowing, almost as if they expected him to fuck this up at some point.

“I fucked up,” he said meekly as she let the tears fall from his eyes, burning his cheek as they came tumbling down.