Status: Complete
'Safe' Is Not A Word In My Vocabulary
Chapter 21
“Why aren’t we going in?” K-9 hissed irritatedly as I drove past another bar in my Lotus.
I sighed, “It would take too long, and besides, I know this dudes car.”
He muttered something unintelligible and then louder “How do you know he’ll be in his Ferrari, though? We don’t even know if it was his, odds are he probably stole it.”
I sighed; I wouldn’t have to explain this to Crusher.
“He’s a show off; even if the car was stolen don’t you think he’d be flaunting it?” K-9 sighed and crossed his arms over his chest. “I hate it when your right.” He grumbled and I smiled as I continued driving.
XxX
“Bingo.” I said pulling up to some strip club. My eyes narrowed in distaste, but I could practically feel K-9 smiling.
“Don’t, even think about it.” I said, using the same tone I’d used with Jacob.
He huffed and grumbled to himself. I rolled my eyes and then turned serious. “I’ll be out in twenty minutes tops. Have the doors open as soon as you see me and duck.”
He nodded and I climbed out of the car while he slipped into the driver’s seat.
I swallowed my disgust as I was let in the club; no one carded me, although they probably should’ve.
I spotted him easily, like the first time. Only this time instead of a blonde, she was a red head. And she was lap dancing him, oh joy.
“Aaron?” I said, making my voice come out surprised as I walked by him. Techno music was blasting from large speakers and lights flashed, illuminating some guys cheering at a side bar. Aaron smiled wide and the girl left his lap.
“Hey, it’s Sandra right?” he asked and I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. Instead I sat down next to him and smiled flirtatiously. “No, it’s Cent, but you can call me whatever you want.” I winked and he gave a perverted smirk.
I gestured to the crowds, flashing lights and half-dressed girls.
“Wanna get out of here?” I asked, and his grin widened.
Pervert.
I danced, through the crowd, keeping out of everyone’s way before I got outside. Once I was there I breathed in the fresh air deeply. The previous room had reached of beer and smoke.
“Where we goin?” he asked, a devious smile playing on the edge of his mouth. “It matters.” I scoffed before dancing to my car.
“After you,” I said, smirking and wondering if I was laying it on to thick. He got in the car willingly enough though.
It was over very fast.
“What the fu-” he started before K-9 punched him in the nose. I saw blood run down his face before K-9 managed to tackle him into the back seat.
“Hey buddy, remember me?” he hissed. I saw his eyes grow wide right before K-9 shoved a needle into his neck. He pushed the plunger down and I shut the door before sliding into the driver’s seat. K-9 crawled into passenger and Aaron was passed out in the back seat.
“He’s not dead, right?” K-9 asked nervously and I shook my head. “Just knocked out, he’ll have a heck of a headache when he wakes up though and he won’t remember any of this.”
K-9 pulled out the little case with the liquid filled darts in it. I’d given him before I went inside. “Paralysis?” he muttered and I shrugged, “Beats me, I just know they work, I don’t know the specifics.”
K-9 sighed as we pulled out of the lot.
“Just out of curiosity, how did you get those anyways?” he asked and I winced and focused on the road. “Werewolves use them to counteract silver, they have antigen in them, it’s not much, but it’s enough.”
“Antigen, as in the stuff that like, fights bacteria?” I smiled to myself. “Yeah, it’s something along those lines.”
XxX
It was nearly eleven when we pulled up outside the Forks police station. I decided to drop him off here, because I knew Charlie would deserve the credit of catching him, even though I did all the work.
I helped K-9 carry him out back and dumped him on the ground by a trash can. I started to back up and then motioned for K-9 to do the same.
We made some noise by dumping trash cans over before running back to the car. We sped away just as a curly haired secretary looked out a window.
They’d find him.
XxX
We got home and I collapsed on the couch while K-9 went to grab us a snack. He came back in with some chips, cookies and ice cream and chuckled.
“It took you like what, four hours? To catch a criminal the FBI’s been after for four years? Unbelievable.” He was muttering, almost to himself. I smiled bleakly.
We ate or snacks in an almost never ending chatter. He would say something of praise and I would blow it off. The pattern continued until he went to bed, around one.
He patted my head on the way out.
“Get to sleep babe, you’re gonna need to get back on track so you can graduate on Wednesday.” I sighed, but I knew he was right.
That didn’t mean I couldn’t put it off for as long as possible though.
I put all the food away and started the dish washer; it took about twenty minutes, because I was slowing down.’
I was out of things to do in the kitchen soon though.
I trudged up the stairs, the buzz from getting my revenge already fading away until pain replaced it.
In my head, I saw Jacob kissing Bella over and over again, and it hurt.
I couldn’t help but wonder what I did wrong as I lay down in bed, my eyes closed, already having a nightmare.
When I opened my eyes in the morning I was relieved to be free of nightmares, then of course I realized I was alone and my heart broke a little.
I sighed before getting up to go downstairs. Yesterday I had been too lazy to cook, but today I felt like I had to keep myself busy.
I texted the guys to come for breakfast; I needed something to keep my mind busy as well as my hands.
Bones must’ve been waiting or something cause’ twenty minutes later they were walking through my door. I laughed at them when they settled into my dining room chairs. “How many speed restrictions did you guys break to get here?” I joked and they all simultaneously shot me the finger.
I blew them all a kiss.
Having them over turned out to be a smart move though, they kept bringing up Aaron, and that kept my mind off of Jacob.
Graduating was also one of the main topics for conversation. Bones, of course was acting like a big brother, getting on me about college.
I hadn’t wanted to go before, but now it’s starting to sound like a good idea.
Eventually, I got claustrophobic again and I wanted to leave.
I didn’t want to go to La Push, on the slim chance I’d run into Jacob, so I decided to go and console Bella.
She probably felt worse than I did, and she’d be showing it.
XxX
I stopped my motorcycle outside of Bella’s and I saw Charlie peak out the window.
Bella was outside in about four seconds, nearly tripping over her own feet, I met her at the porch.
“Oh Cent I’m so sorry I didn’t know he would try that, it’s my entire fault I-” I hugged her to cut her off. “Bells, I’m not mad at you, it’s not your fault.”
It seemed like Bella and I were always apologizing.
“I told you to give him a chance and he blew it, you were right.” I shook my head sadly, wishing we could skip all this and move on.
“I wasn’t right, and it was fun while it lasted.” The rain started coming down and I laughed. “Let’s get you in before you catch a cold.” I teased and she smiled.
We walked in and Charlie grinned at me from the couch. I sat on the love seat and Bella sat on the couch with him. I grinned back, although it felt forced, then I found myself asking,
“So how’s work been Charlie?”
His eyes grew wide and he started explaining about how he and another officer found some FBI top fifty criminal outside passed out last night.
I saw Bella’s eyes grow wide, and I knew he hadn’t told her this story yet. I widened my eyes too. But I think Bella saw through me because she narrowed hers, wincing when her braced hand attempted to clench into a fist. Charlie changed the subject after a near awkward silence.
He chatted with me about colleges too, and I told him I hadn’t really been planning on it, but it didn’t sound like a bad idea now.
“Why’s that?” he asked curiously and I shrugged. “I just need a change I guess; maybe I can go see some of the world or something...Go traveling...”
Bella scowled at me from where her dad couldn’t see and I knew she had guessed that I wanted to leave because of Jacob.
I flipped her off and Charlie left a while later, saying something about spending the evening with Sue Clearwater since her kids were ‘busy’.
I grinned at Bell once he was gone.
“Jeez Cent, what did you do?” she asked and I laughed. “Me and K-9 caught a criminal, it was easier than it looks.” She moaned and I got up and stretched.
“He could’ve hurt you.” She scolded while I scoffed.
“Gimme a break Bella.” I said rolling my eyes. I grabbed my keys and she stared at me. “Where are you going?” she asked.
“I’m going to Edward’s, no offense but it’s boring here; you can come to if you want.” I offered and she sniffed before grabbing her own keys. “Fine, but Im driving, I don’t trust that metal death trap of yours.”
I fake put a hand over my heart, pouted and my eyes widened. She grinned. “Yeah, offense.” She said I rolled my eyes and blew it off.
XxX
We stuck my bike in the back cab of her truck and started driving to Edwards.
I laughed at the sound of the prehistoric engine.
“And you call my bike a death trap.” I grumbled shaking my head. She threw a onesie at me before focusing on the road.
She drove to slow for my liking and I was seriously considering jumping out and running through the rain.
Bella saw my intentions when my hand twitched towards the handle of the door. “Jump out of this truck, and your bike will be ashes by morning.” She warned and I laughed.
“Threatening me Bella, or do you really think you could take me?” she smiled slightly, but refused to lose the focus of the road.
“Nope. I learned my lesson the last time; I’ll just set Edward on you.” I tried not to understand what she meant, but my hand flashed down to her brace and I winced.
We were quiet the rest of the drive and I stared out the rainy window.
The raindrops looked like tears, and I was about to have a mental breakdown by the time we finally reached the Cullen’s.
Edward met us at the door with a pleasant smile on his face and I sniffed at the air. “Alice is home!” I sang jumping out the truck and walking in.
She had been away again, hunting with Jasper the last time I stopped by.
“Centhua!” she laughed coming gracefully down the stairs. I hugged her and wrinkled my nose.
She smelled riper, like silk and lace.
“Designing again Alice?” I teased and she smirked pointing to Bella (who was just reaching the door) and then to me. “We are officially graduating in two days. Bella got her clothes taken and you will probably end up in blue jeans.” I smirked at her.
“Got that right,” I joked and she punched my arm.
“Not while Im around, will you two look less than fabulous.” She said, almost making it sound like a threat. I held up my hands in surrender.
“Fine, but I have to approve at least.” I warned and she smiled.
“That’s my girl; I knew you’d behave.” She dragged me upstairs and I mouthed ‘help’ to Edward. He just smiled though; he was playing Bella her lullaby.
We passed Emmett in the hallway, who grinned at us, and I heard Esme and Carlisle in their office and Rosalie tuning her BMW. Jasper wasn’t here, as far as I could tell.
Alice led me into their room and danced into her monster sized closet.
I noticed Jasper’s clothes were only on one single rack, where as hers went on for centuries. I noticed a white garment bag that had a rack all to itself along with four other dresses, one of which I could definitely see myself in.
I smiled. “What’s that?”
She put a finger to her lips, “Bella’s wedding dress and such, she’s determined to get married in Vegas and not make a big production but I know better.” I groaned at her.
“Alice, do you actually see Bella having a big shot gun wedding?” I asked and she smirked.
“Not yet, but it never hurts to be prepared.”
The way she said it, said not yet, and how she was being prepared made me pretty sure Alice would do whatever it took to get Bella down that aisle.
XxX
Alice and I agreed on a dress for graduation, that I could be seen in, but also hide under the yellow graduate gown if I had too.
I walked down the stair slowly to see Edward still at the piano but not playing it. I sat down on the bench next to him and he looked up from his conversation with Bella. “May I?” I asked, gesturing to the keys. He cocked his head to the side and gave a small nod.
There was only one song I knew to play by heart, an oddly appropriate one now.
I strummed a few keys and Edward watched in silence. Bella walked over and took his hand while his eyes glued themselves to my face, reading every flicker of emotion. I gave him something to stare at and started singing ‘perfect nightmare’ by Shontelle.
Sometimes we fight, sometimes I cry
Why don't I just tell him goodbye
Sometimes I should, but sometimes I don't
Build up the strength to say that it's wrong
Sometimes I hate, sometimes I love
Sometimes I hurt, sometimes I don't
Sometimes I wait for him to change
But it's okay, I've disguised the pain
And I don't ever wanna leave him alone
They say I'm brainwashed but I'm in love with this man, yeah
Keep telling myself that it's not worth it
I already know I don't deserve it
But if it's from you I don't mind hurting
This is my perfect nightmare
So when will I wake up and scream
No way, no way, no way, no way, no way, no way, no way
But if it's from you I don't mind hurting
This is my perfect nightmare, perfect nightmare
Sometimes I keep my cool, sometimes I let him know
Sometimes I even pack my bags to walk out the door
Sometimes I feel safe, sometimes I really don't
Sometimes I promise that I'm ready to let him go
But I don't ever wanna leave him alone
They say I'm brainwashed but I'm in love with this man, oh oh
Keep telling myself that it's not worth it
I already know I don't deserve it
But if it's from you I don't mind hurting
This is my perfect nightmare
So when will I wake up and scream
No way, no way, no way, no way, no way, no way, no way
But if it's from you I don't mind hurting
This is my perfect nightmare, perfect nightmare
Hoping he's changing, but I'm scared he's not
Can't see a way to leave, help me open my eyes
Keep telling myself that it's not worth it
I already know I don't deserve it
But if it's from you I don't mind hurting
This is my perfect nightmare, perfect nightmare
Keep telling myself that it's not worth it (no way)
I already know I don't deserve it
But if it's from you I don't mind hurting (don't mind hurting)
This is my perfect nightmare
So when will I wake up and scream
No way, no way, no way, no way, no way, no way, no way
But if it's from you I don't mind hurting
This is my perfect nightmare, perfect nightmare
No way, no way, no way, no way, no way, no way, no way
But if it's from you I don't mind hurting
This is my perfect nightmare, perfect nightmare
Perfect Nightmare.
I hadn’t noticed the others had come in before some of them started clapping. I smiled sadly to myself and Edward gave me a one armed hug.
I didn’t need his pity.
Edward pulled away rapidly, his eyes widening, and the expression on his face was almost…afraid.
Edward’s POV
I felt the bitterness in her thoughts and pulled away quickly.
But she was doing so well!
When she showed up here, she’d been bitter and violent, and her head was full of suicidal thoughts and despair.
Jasper couldn’t stand it, and neither could I.
She had started to thaw out, mostly because of that fire I think, and she wasn’t as miserable to be around…she was actually…happy.
Her thought hadn’t been that bitter for a long time.
If Jacob made her go back into that, I would make him suffer.
Not kill him, Cent wouldn’t allow that, but why should she care if he was running on three legs?
I sighed, “It would take too long, and besides, I know this dudes car.”
He muttered something unintelligible and then louder “How do you know he’ll be in his Ferrari, though? We don’t even know if it was his, odds are he probably stole it.”
I sighed; I wouldn’t have to explain this to Crusher.
“He’s a show off; even if the car was stolen don’t you think he’d be flaunting it?” K-9 sighed and crossed his arms over his chest. “I hate it when your right.” He grumbled and I smiled as I continued driving.
XxX
“Bingo.” I said pulling up to some strip club. My eyes narrowed in distaste, but I could practically feel K-9 smiling.
“Don’t, even think about it.” I said, using the same tone I’d used with Jacob.
He huffed and grumbled to himself. I rolled my eyes and then turned serious. “I’ll be out in twenty minutes tops. Have the doors open as soon as you see me and duck.”
He nodded and I climbed out of the car while he slipped into the driver’s seat.
I swallowed my disgust as I was let in the club; no one carded me, although they probably should’ve.
I spotted him easily, like the first time. Only this time instead of a blonde, she was a red head. And she was lap dancing him, oh joy.
“Aaron?” I said, making my voice come out surprised as I walked by him. Techno music was blasting from large speakers and lights flashed, illuminating some guys cheering at a side bar. Aaron smiled wide and the girl left his lap.
“Hey, it’s Sandra right?” he asked and I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. Instead I sat down next to him and smiled flirtatiously. “No, it’s Cent, but you can call me whatever you want.” I winked and he gave a perverted smirk.
I gestured to the crowds, flashing lights and half-dressed girls.
“Wanna get out of here?” I asked, and his grin widened.
Pervert.
I danced, through the crowd, keeping out of everyone’s way before I got outside. Once I was there I breathed in the fresh air deeply. The previous room had reached of beer and smoke.
“Where we goin?” he asked, a devious smile playing on the edge of his mouth. “It matters.” I scoffed before dancing to my car.
“After you,” I said, smirking and wondering if I was laying it on to thick. He got in the car willingly enough though.
It was over very fast.
“What the fu-” he started before K-9 punched him in the nose. I saw blood run down his face before K-9 managed to tackle him into the back seat.
“Hey buddy, remember me?” he hissed. I saw his eyes grow wide right before K-9 shoved a needle into his neck. He pushed the plunger down and I shut the door before sliding into the driver’s seat. K-9 crawled into passenger and Aaron was passed out in the back seat.
“He’s not dead, right?” K-9 asked nervously and I shook my head. “Just knocked out, he’ll have a heck of a headache when he wakes up though and he won’t remember any of this.”
K-9 pulled out the little case with the liquid filled darts in it. I’d given him before I went inside. “Paralysis?” he muttered and I shrugged, “Beats me, I just know they work, I don’t know the specifics.”
K-9 sighed as we pulled out of the lot.
“Just out of curiosity, how did you get those anyways?” he asked and I winced and focused on the road. “Werewolves use them to counteract silver, they have antigen in them, it’s not much, but it’s enough.”
“Antigen, as in the stuff that like, fights bacteria?” I smiled to myself. “Yeah, it’s something along those lines.”
XxX
It was nearly eleven when we pulled up outside the Forks police station. I decided to drop him off here, because I knew Charlie would deserve the credit of catching him, even though I did all the work.
I helped K-9 carry him out back and dumped him on the ground by a trash can. I started to back up and then motioned for K-9 to do the same.
We made some noise by dumping trash cans over before running back to the car. We sped away just as a curly haired secretary looked out a window.
They’d find him.
XxX
We got home and I collapsed on the couch while K-9 went to grab us a snack. He came back in with some chips, cookies and ice cream and chuckled.
“It took you like what, four hours? To catch a criminal the FBI’s been after for four years? Unbelievable.” He was muttering, almost to himself. I smiled bleakly.
We ate or snacks in an almost never ending chatter. He would say something of praise and I would blow it off. The pattern continued until he went to bed, around one.
He patted my head on the way out.
“Get to sleep babe, you’re gonna need to get back on track so you can graduate on Wednesday.” I sighed, but I knew he was right.
That didn’t mean I couldn’t put it off for as long as possible though.
I put all the food away and started the dish washer; it took about twenty minutes, because I was slowing down.’
I was out of things to do in the kitchen soon though.
I trudged up the stairs, the buzz from getting my revenge already fading away until pain replaced it.
In my head, I saw Jacob kissing Bella over and over again, and it hurt.
I couldn’t help but wonder what I did wrong as I lay down in bed, my eyes closed, already having a nightmare.
When I opened my eyes in the morning I was relieved to be free of nightmares, then of course I realized I was alone and my heart broke a little.
I sighed before getting up to go downstairs. Yesterday I had been too lazy to cook, but today I felt like I had to keep myself busy.
I texted the guys to come for breakfast; I needed something to keep my mind busy as well as my hands.
Bones must’ve been waiting or something cause’ twenty minutes later they were walking through my door. I laughed at them when they settled into my dining room chairs. “How many speed restrictions did you guys break to get here?” I joked and they all simultaneously shot me the finger.
I blew them all a kiss.
Having them over turned out to be a smart move though, they kept bringing up Aaron, and that kept my mind off of Jacob.
Graduating was also one of the main topics for conversation. Bones, of course was acting like a big brother, getting on me about college.
I hadn’t wanted to go before, but now it’s starting to sound like a good idea.
Eventually, I got claustrophobic again and I wanted to leave.
I didn’t want to go to La Push, on the slim chance I’d run into Jacob, so I decided to go and console Bella.
She probably felt worse than I did, and she’d be showing it.
XxX
I stopped my motorcycle outside of Bella’s and I saw Charlie peak out the window.
Bella was outside in about four seconds, nearly tripping over her own feet, I met her at the porch.
“Oh Cent I’m so sorry I didn’t know he would try that, it’s my entire fault I-” I hugged her to cut her off. “Bells, I’m not mad at you, it’s not your fault.”
It seemed like Bella and I were always apologizing.
“I told you to give him a chance and he blew it, you were right.” I shook my head sadly, wishing we could skip all this and move on.
“I wasn’t right, and it was fun while it lasted.” The rain started coming down and I laughed. “Let’s get you in before you catch a cold.” I teased and she smiled.
We walked in and Charlie grinned at me from the couch. I sat on the love seat and Bella sat on the couch with him. I grinned back, although it felt forced, then I found myself asking,
“So how’s work been Charlie?”
His eyes grew wide and he started explaining about how he and another officer found some FBI top fifty criminal outside passed out last night.
I saw Bella’s eyes grow wide, and I knew he hadn’t told her this story yet. I widened my eyes too. But I think Bella saw through me because she narrowed hers, wincing when her braced hand attempted to clench into a fist. Charlie changed the subject after a near awkward silence.
He chatted with me about colleges too, and I told him I hadn’t really been planning on it, but it didn’t sound like a bad idea now.
“Why’s that?” he asked curiously and I shrugged. “I just need a change I guess; maybe I can go see some of the world or something...Go traveling...”
Bella scowled at me from where her dad couldn’t see and I knew she had guessed that I wanted to leave because of Jacob.
I flipped her off and Charlie left a while later, saying something about spending the evening with Sue Clearwater since her kids were ‘busy’.
I grinned at Bell once he was gone.
“Jeez Cent, what did you do?” she asked and I laughed. “Me and K-9 caught a criminal, it was easier than it looks.” She moaned and I got up and stretched.
“He could’ve hurt you.” She scolded while I scoffed.
“Gimme a break Bella.” I said rolling my eyes. I grabbed my keys and she stared at me. “Where are you going?” she asked.
“I’m going to Edward’s, no offense but it’s boring here; you can come to if you want.” I offered and she sniffed before grabbing her own keys. “Fine, but Im driving, I don’t trust that metal death trap of yours.”
I fake put a hand over my heart, pouted and my eyes widened. She grinned. “Yeah, offense.” She said I rolled my eyes and blew it off.
XxX
We stuck my bike in the back cab of her truck and started driving to Edwards.
I laughed at the sound of the prehistoric engine.
“And you call my bike a death trap.” I grumbled shaking my head. She threw a onesie at me before focusing on the road.
She drove to slow for my liking and I was seriously considering jumping out and running through the rain.
Bella saw my intentions when my hand twitched towards the handle of the door. “Jump out of this truck, and your bike will be ashes by morning.” She warned and I laughed.
“Threatening me Bella, or do you really think you could take me?” she smiled slightly, but refused to lose the focus of the road.
“Nope. I learned my lesson the last time; I’ll just set Edward on you.” I tried not to understand what she meant, but my hand flashed down to her brace and I winced.
We were quiet the rest of the drive and I stared out the rainy window.
The raindrops looked like tears, and I was about to have a mental breakdown by the time we finally reached the Cullen’s.
Edward met us at the door with a pleasant smile on his face and I sniffed at the air. “Alice is home!” I sang jumping out the truck and walking in.
She had been away again, hunting with Jasper the last time I stopped by.
“Centhua!” she laughed coming gracefully down the stairs. I hugged her and wrinkled my nose.
She smelled riper, like silk and lace.
“Designing again Alice?” I teased and she smirked pointing to Bella (who was just reaching the door) and then to me. “We are officially graduating in two days. Bella got her clothes taken and you will probably end up in blue jeans.” I smirked at her.
“Got that right,” I joked and she punched my arm.
“Not while Im around, will you two look less than fabulous.” She said, almost making it sound like a threat. I held up my hands in surrender.
“Fine, but I have to approve at least.” I warned and she smiled.
“That’s my girl; I knew you’d behave.” She dragged me upstairs and I mouthed ‘help’ to Edward. He just smiled though; he was playing Bella her lullaby.
We passed Emmett in the hallway, who grinned at us, and I heard Esme and Carlisle in their office and Rosalie tuning her BMW. Jasper wasn’t here, as far as I could tell.
Alice led me into their room and danced into her monster sized closet.
I noticed Jasper’s clothes were only on one single rack, where as hers went on for centuries. I noticed a white garment bag that had a rack all to itself along with four other dresses, one of which I could definitely see myself in.
I smiled. “What’s that?”
She put a finger to her lips, “Bella’s wedding dress and such, she’s determined to get married in Vegas and not make a big production but I know better.” I groaned at her.
“Alice, do you actually see Bella having a big shot gun wedding?” I asked and she smirked.
“Not yet, but it never hurts to be prepared.”
The way she said it, said not yet, and how she was being prepared made me pretty sure Alice would do whatever it took to get Bella down that aisle.
XxX
Alice and I agreed on a dress for graduation, that I could be seen in, but also hide under the yellow graduate gown if I had too.
I walked down the stair slowly to see Edward still at the piano but not playing it. I sat down on the bench next to him and he looked up from his conversation with Bella. “May I?” I asked, gesturing to the keys. He cocked his head to the side and gave a small nod.
There was only one song I knew to play by heart, an oddly appropriate one now.
I strummed a few keys and Edward watched in silence. Bella walked over and took his hand while his eyes glued themselves to my face, reading every flicker of emotion. I gave him something to stare at and started singing ‘perfect nightmare’ by Shontelle.
Sometimes we fight, sometimes I cry
Why don't I just tell him goodbye
Sometimes I should, but sometimes I don't
Build up the strength to say that it's wrong
Sometimes I hate, sometimes I love
Sometimes I hurt, sometimes I don't
Sometimes I wait for him to change
But it's okay, I've disguised the pain
And I don't ever wanna leave him alone
They say I'm brainwashed but I'm in love with this man, yeah
Keep telling myself that it's not worth it
I already know I don't deserve it
But if it's from you I don't mind hurting
This is my perfect nightmare
So when will I wake up and scream
No way, no way, no way, no way, no way, no way, no way
But if it's from you I don't mind hurting
This is my perfect nightmare, perfect nightmare
Sometimes I keep my cool, sometimes I let him know
Sometimes I even pack my bags to walk out the door
Sometimes I feel safe, sometimes I really don't
Sometimes I promise that I'm ready to let him go
But I don't ever wanna leave him alone
They say I'm brainwashed but I'm in love with this man, oh oh
Keep telling myself that it's not worth it
I already know I don't deserve it
But if it's from you I don't mind hurting
This is my perfect nightmare
So when will I wake up and scream
No way, no way, no way, no way, no way, no way, no way
But if it's from you I don't mind hurting
This is my perfect nightmare, perfect nightmare
Hoping he's changing, but I'm scared he's not
Can't see a way to leave, help me open my eyes
Keep telling myself that it's not worth it
I already know I don't deserve it
But if it's from you I don't mind hurting
This is my perfect nightmare, perfect nightmare
Keep telling myself that it's not worth it (no way)
I already know I don't deserve it
But if it's from you I don't mind hurting (don't mind hurting)
This is my perfect nightmare
So when will I wake up and scream
No way, no way, no way, no way, no way, no way, no way
But if it's from you I don't mind hurting
This is my perfect nightmare, perfect nightmare
No way, no way, no way, no way, no way, no way, no way
But if it's from you I don't mind hurting
This is my perfect nightmare, perfect nightmare
Perfect Nightmare.
I hadn’t noticed the others had come in before some of them started clapping. I smiled sadly to myself and Edward gave me a one armed hug.
I didn’t need his pity.
Edward pulled away rapidly, his eyes widening, and the expression on his face was almost…afraid.
Edward’s POV
I felt the bitterness in her thoughts and pulled away quickly.
But she was doing so well!
When she showed up here, she’d been bitter and violent, and her head was full of suicidal thoughts and despair.
Jasper couldn’t stand it, and neither could I.
She had started to thaw out, mostly because of that fire I think, and she wasn’t as miserable to be around…she was actually…happy.
Her thought hadn’t been that bitter for a long time.
If Jacob made her go back into that, I would make him suffer.
Not kill him, Cent wouldn’t allow that, but why should she care if he was running on three legs?