Lost And Found
Lost And Found 5
Ryan's POV
The last thing I remember is Brendon yelling for someone to call an ambulance then everything went black.
I slowly opened up my eyes. The first thing I saw was Brendon siting by my bed, leaning against the wall, sleeping. He looked horrible; like he hasn't had a good nights sleep in days.
I wonder how long Ive been out.
"Ryan..Ryan..." he whispered in his sleep.
Tears started falling from my eyes. I thought by disappearing forever I was doing Brendon a favor but I hurt him even more.
My body starting shaking violently. I closed my eyes trying to relax. Then I heard the door open. My eyes flew open to see Spencer walking in.
"Ryan!" He yelled, "You're awake!" Brendon woke up, immediately falling out of his chair. I glared at Spencer.
Brendon stood up slowly looking at me with tears in his eyes. He ran over to me hugging me tightly.
"Hey Jon, Cathy, June! Hes awake!" yelled Spencer.
The others soon rushed into the room.
"RYAN!" they all exclaimed, rushing over to the bed.
"How are you feeling?" asked Cathy.
"Tired, weak, and I can hardly breath." I replied. "Could you guys leave so I can talk to Spencer for a second"
They all nodded and left.
"How long have I been out?" I asked, trying to sit up. Spencer went over an sat down on my bed.
"3 weeks." he replied, "What were you thinking Ryan? You could have died!" I started crying again.
"I didn't want to hurt Brendon more then I already did."
"What are you talking about, you didn't do anything it was your dad who hurt Brendon." Spencer pulled me into a hug.
"You scared everyone especially Brendon. He hasn't left the hospital at all, except to go take a shower an change clothes, besides that, hes been here the entire time."
I looked at Spencer. He was crying. I haven't seen Spencer cry since we were kids.
"You should talk to Brendon, Ryan. Explain everything to him." he said breaking the silence.
"What if he doesn't understand??" I said worried.
"He will, don't worry." Spencer got up walking out of the room.
Minutes later Brendon walked in sitting in the chair next to my bed.
"Sp-Spencer said you wanted to talk to me." he said shaking.
"I'm sorry Brendon" I whispered.
He looked at me.
"For what, Ryan?"
"For hurting you." He grabbed my hand. "I'll understand if you don't love me anymore."
"No, Ryan, I will always Love you no matter what." He said sounding angry.
We sat there for a long time not knowing what to say.
"Are you going to tell me" he said quietly. I looked up.
"Tell you what?"
"Why you tried to kill yourself!" he said tears falling down his cheeks. "And why your dad was attacking you at the carnival"
"I-I don't k-know.."I stuttered. He stood up, ripping his hand out of mine.
"Well, when you feel like you can trust me enough to tell me I'll be here to listen to you." He
stormed out of the room.
What did I do...? I made him think that I don't trust him, but I do trust him. I sighed and laid back down in my bed. I made everything worse. That's Ryan Ross for you. Only I can do that. I made it worse. I don't know how I manage to do that, ever. It would've been better if Brendon didn't care so much. I wouldnt be living. We'd all be better off if I was just....gone. Not here.
Dead.
I drifted off to sleep. Not pleasantly. The words, rather, are 'I soon passed out from crying so much.'
The last thing I remember is Brendon yelling for someone to call an ambulance then everything went black.
I slowly opened up my eyes. The first thing I saw was Brendon siting by my bed, leaning against the wall, sleeping. He looked horrible; like he hasn't had a good nights sleep in days.
I wonder how long Ive been out.
"Ryan..Ryan..." he whispered in his sleep.
Tears started falling from my eyes. I thought by disappearing forever I was doing Brendon a favor but I hurt him even more.
My body starting shaking violently. I closed my eyes trying to relax. Then I heard the door open. My eyes flew open to see Spencer walking in.
"Ryan!" He yelled, "You're awake!" Brendon woke up, immediately falling out of his chair. I glared at Spencer.
Brendon stood up slowly looking at me with tears in his eyes. He ran over to me hugging me tightly.
"Hey Jon, Cathy, June! Hes awake!" yelled Spencer.
The others soon rushed into the room.
"RYAN!" they all exclaimed, rushing over to the bed.
"How are you feeling?" asked Cathy.
"Tired, weak, and I can hardly breath." I replied. "Could you guys leave so I can talk to Spencer for a second"
They all nodded and left.
"How long have I been out?" I asked, trying to sit up. Spencer went over an sat down on my bed.
"3 weeks." he replied, "What were you thinking Ryan? You could have died!" I started crying again.
"I didn't want to hurt Brendon more then I already did."
"What are you talking about, you didn't do anything it was your dad who hurt Brendon." Spencer pulled me into a hug.
"You scared everyone especially Brendon. He hasn't left the hospital at all, except to go take a shower an change clothes, besides that, hes been here the entire time."
I looked at Spencer. He was crying. I haven't seen Spencer cry since we were kids.
"You should talk to Brendon, Ryan. Explain everything to him." he said breaking the silence.
"What if he doesn't understand??" I said worried.
"He will, don't worry." Spencer got up walking out of the room.
Minutes later Brendon walked in sitting in the chair next to my bed.
"Sp-Spencer said you wanted to talk to me." he said shaking.
"I'm sorry Brendon" I whispered.
He looked at me.
"For what, Ryan?"
"For hurting you." He grabbed my hand. "I'll understand if you don't love me anymore."
"No, Ryan, I will always Love you no matter what." He said sounding angry.
We sat there for a long time not knowing what to say.
"Are you going to tell me" he said quietly. I looked up.
"Tell you what?"
"Why you tried to kill yourself!" he said tears falling down his cheeks. "And why your dad was attacking you at the carnival"
"I-I don't k-know.."I stuttered. He stood up, ripping his hand out of mine.
"Well, when you feel like you can trust me enough to tell me I'll be here to listen to you." He
stormed out of the room.
What did I do...? I made him think that I don't trust him, but I do trust him. I sighed and laid back down in my bed. I made everything worse. That's Ryan Ross for you. Only I can do that. I made it worse. I don't know how I manage to do that, ever. It would've been better if Brendon didn't care so much. I wouldnt be living. We'd all be better off if I was just....gone. Not here.
Dead.
I drifted off to sleep. Not pleasantly. The words, rather, are 'I soon passed out from crying so much.'