It's a Good Year for a ***

My father is having a dinner party to celebrate his promotion. His business partners are all downstairs drinking in the parlor. I can hear my mother talking to their wives down the hall; she’s giving them a tour of our rather large house. She walks past my door explaining the architecture and “feel” of the house. The high class women give their ooh’s and ah’s of approval. The house sits on a hill surrounded by woods in the countryside. The north end of the property overlooks the highway, making trips to the city only about twenty minutes long. The perfect seclusion my father had called it. I’m standing in front of my mirror, fidgeting with the short black dress I was wearing. My mother had bought is especially for the dinner party tonight. She said the black would make my green eyes pop.

I walk out of the room, making sure to turn off the light as I close the door. I can no longer hear my mother talking, so I cross the hall to my sisters closed door. I place a shaking hand on the door knob and press my ear to the dark wood. Silence. I know she’s not in there, but I still open it to look. Her bed is unmade, dirty clothes are tossed in a pile, and her favorite toys litter the ground.

“I love you Lily.” I say as I close the door and turn away.
I continue down the hall, to the left, and down the main stairwell to the front room. My father calls me over to him as I take the last step off the stairs. He is surrounded by ten older men, all sipping glasses of bourbon. He wraps his free arm around me and introduces the men to me.
“Annabelle these are my business partners. Everyone this is Annabelle. Say hello Annabelle.” My father said, giving my shoulder a tight warning squeeze. Before the party started my mother told me that tonight we were going to “play nice, and be a loving family. That means you’re going to talk. Understood?” I shook my head in agreement, but I’m not going to talk. They are fighting a losing battle. So I just stand here while my father’s business partners stare at me. No words escape from my lips. He pushes me away from him, still keeping that smile.
“Why don’t you go ask your mother when dinner will be served? We are all getting hungry in here.”

I walk through the group of men and leave the parlor, headed for the backyard. Mother and her new snooty friends can wait. I’m in no mood to deal with the things they will say. I walk through the kitchen, out the back doors, and into the cool summer breeze. I let my fingers run across the wall as I walk off the deck, further into the dark. I head over to the swing set, looking up at the bright stars. The metal chains give a loan moan as I jump into the swing closest to me, swinging back and forth slowly. Somewhere behind me the bushes rustle. I smile and drag my feet to stop swinging.

“Is that you Lily?” I call out to the darkness. I turn around to face the woods surrounding me. It’s dark and I can’t see very well.
“Come out, come out where ever you are?” I call louder into the nothingness as I walk further towards the woods.
I can almost make out a figure by a tree when the backdoor opens, causing me to turn back towards the house.
“Annabelle! Darling, what are you doing out here?” My mother calls from the door.
I say nothing.
“Honey, come on in. It’s time to eat now.” Still, she stands by the door. Looking at me like an alien.

I glance back towards the woods but start to walk back to the house. She grabs my hand as I approach her and escorts me inside. I pull my hand out of hers as I walk further into the house. I’m seventeen; I don’t need her to hold my hand. She tells me to sit next to her and points to a chair at the table. The others are already sitting, talking amongst themselves, as they wait for dinner to be served. The two house maids bring out dinner a moment later.
The food is passed around and everyone begins to eat. I grab my fork and push the rice on plate around a little when I suddenly have to use the bathroom. I poke my food around a little more and decide that I have to pee really badly. Last time I went to the bathroom was before my shower, three hours ago. I get up and turn to leave.
“Annabelle. Where are you going?” my mother asks sharply.
I point upstairs, knowing she would get the hint.
“Please speak.”

I point up the stairs again. I’m getting nervous now. I have to use the bathroom really bad, and the guests were starting to stare at me.
“Darling, I would like you to use your words. Where are you going?”
I look at the other end of the table where my father was sitting. He doesn’t speak for a moment, he just sips his drink. By now the whole table was quiet, all of them looking at me.
“Listen to your mother.” He says pouring more into his drink.
I point upstairs more urgently now. But she says nothing; she crosses her arms and waits for me to talk. She was playing hardball; they both know damn well that I’m not going to speak. Yet they persist. I look at her with a straight face and let it go. The pee funs down my leg, soaking my dress and tights. The look on her face was one of pure hate.
“Go Up Stairs Right Now.” She growls “and then you will come down here and finish your food. Understood.”

I meet no one’s eyes as I walk away. I climb the stairs as an even pace, when I’m out of sight I stop to listen to them. The women are telling mother she is courageous. Being strong after losing a child was hard to do. They ask her if they were looking into getting me professional help. One lady says she knows a good therapist. I shudder at the thought. I’ve had enough of all of their crap so I take a left and travel back down the hall to my room. As soon as I get there I turn on music and strip down. Walking into the adjoining bathroom, I turn on the hot water and look at myself in the mirror. My dark hair was long and wavy, now reaching my mid-back. My eyes, a deep green color, were the only thing I really like about myself. I looked nothing like my parents, who both had blue eyes and brown hair. Lily was a good mix of both of them, that’s what people used to always say. Right before they would ask where I got my looks from.
“Oh, well you see. I was pregnant with Annabel when I met Jameson. He has raised Annabel like she was his own.”

The mirror clouds over with steam so get into the scolding water. After I re-wash my hair and body I just stand under the water until it runs cold. After I’m done drying off I throw on a pair of pants that were lying on floor and head to the closet for a shirt. I grab randomly and end up with my black Dropkick Murphy’s shirt, which is fine because I’m not going back down stairs. I pull my long, raven hair into a ponytail and sit on the floor to finish coloring a picture I started earlier. I turn my music down, and am flipping between songs when I hear heavy footsteps coming down the hall. The footsteps come to a halt in front of my door, as my father swings it open. He says nothing as he walks in and closes the door behind him.
“I am sick and tired or you embarrassing me. I think it’s time I taught you another lesson.” He growls as he walks towards me.

My heart pounds in my chest as fear takes hold. Scrambling of the floor I try to run to the bathroom, but he’s too fast and he grabs me. I’m thrown back and crash onto the bed, fighting to get him away from me. His fist collides with my face with such force that everything goes black for a second. He hits me again then drops me to the floor. He walks out and leaves me there, making sure to lock the door from the outside so I can’t leave. I lay still for a moment, trying to assess the damage. The whole left side of my face is numb. I crawl towards the bathroom to get a better look. Hot tears make my eyes sting, but there’s no stopping it now. My face is swollen and red. I am definitely going to have a bruise tomorrow. This is it. I’m done with them. I’m leaving the first chance I get. I don’t need them or their money. Lily’s dead, I have no reason to stay here any longer.