Party Queen Causes a Scene
34
* Jonathan’s Pov *
I was trying to concentrate I really was but I really wanted to go somewhere else right now “Jonathan come on man, you’re not even singing the right words!” Caleb growled at me and I sighed.
“Can we take a break, my heads going crazy?” I said and he rolled his eyes “Fine! Come on lets get this over with!” he snapped as he held the door open and we set off down the street.
I felt nervous, the good kind as I walked the streets I’d not been on in 3 years now. “Is this such a good idea?” Austin asked and I looked around at him. “Come on it’s been 3 years, if the girl wanted to see you she’d have spoken to you, texted you, come visit and she’s done nothing. From the moment we got on that plane you’ve not heard from her, doesn’t that tell you something?” he said and I shook my head.
“Who knew her the best? Me! I knew this might happen; look even if she doesn’t want to see me I just want to see her, to know what’s going on in her life now. I’m not expecting anything other than a chat, I just want to talk to her about random stuff and then we can go,” I reasoned and Caleb groaned.
“He’s right, if we stop him doing this he’ll not concentrate for the next 2 days. We need him to concentrate to get this show done and move on. Let him do it,” Caleb backed me up and I smiled at him.
I stopped dead outside the bar and Austin opened the door for me and my eyes scanned the place to not see anything I wanted to see. “Come on!” Caleb mumbled pushing me through the door and I looked around again double-checking but nothing.
Austin ordered as Caleb forced me to a seat and I looked at them both “Maybe she’s not on this shift, and maybe she doesn’t work here anymore?” Austin suggested and I shook my head getting up and walking to the bar.
“Hey, how can I help you?” the woman asked me and I smiled at her “Does someone named Lauren work here?” I asked and she shook her head “Never heard of her sorry” “Oh, she used to work here about 3 years ago. Do you know of anyone who would know?” I pushed and she nodded.
“Hang on Eddy’s been here about 3 years now I think. Eddy!” she shouted and this guy walked out from a door behind the bar.
He looked at me “Wants to know about someone named Lauren” “Lauren, nobody here named that,” he answered smiling. “She was here 3 years ago. Some people called her Lo?” I added and he nodded slowly.
“Lo, yeah I know who you mean. Brunette, late 20’s?” he asked and I nodded. “Yeah, I take it she doesn’t work here anymore? Do you know where she works?” “Works? Nah she doesn’t work any more man. Left here about 7 months ago and not had a job since,” he explained.
“Oh, does she still live around here? She used to live in them apartments couple blocks over, I’ve not seen her in forever and I’m back in town for a couple days and I really wanted to catch up with her and see how she is nowadays and what she’s doing with herself,” I admitted and he pointed out another customer and the girl disappeared.
“No she doesn’t live there anymore, she moved out a while back now. Fell out with her housemate, you knew her?” “Yeah” I answered and he sighed.
“I don’t want to be the bearer of bad news but she’s not been well, she’s been in and out of hospital for a long time now,” I felt my stomach drop.
“Is she…where is she?” I asked, “Look I don’t know where she lives these days but she’s normally downtown at this time of day,” “Thanks!” I stated before practically running out the place whilst the others shouted after me.
I didn’t have to ask where she’s be, I knew the only place here that held any attachment to her was the park and I remembered it perfectly. I reached the gates walking in scanning the place to see people sat on benches talking away before realizing it was lunchtime and people were on breaks. I walked around the path looking around when I saw someone sat huddled up and I stopped looking at them, “Lauren,” I said and they looked around slowly.
“Jonathan?” she asked and I smiled walking to sit next to her “What are you doing here?” “I’ve got a show here tomorrow,” I answered smiling at her.
She nodded slowly and it fell silent feeling awkward “So what do you do these days?” I asked “Oh I erm, I don’t work,” she answered and I nodded.
“So do you still live with…” “No! I left not long after you left; I have a tiny place now. Barely room for me but it’s all I cold afford. You take what you’re given really don’t you?” she replied and I nodded.
I saw Alex a couple months back, he said he’d not spoken to you since he left years back now, same for Gabe,” I said and she sighed “I know, things were just…” “I know, sometimes things are better left alone. Do you want to get lunch or something, you know to just catch up?” I suggested and she shook her head.
“I have somewhere to be, sorry,” “Oh okay, well we’ve got press tonight but tomorrow I’m free all day and we’re playing at like 7. You should come! I can get you a ticket plus the guys would like to see you,” I smiled and she nodded.
“Maybe, I have to go otherwise I’ll be late,” she mumbled getting up and I stood up. “It was great to see you though, you look good,” she smiled and I hugged her against me “Lauren how bad is it?” I asked quietly and I felt her head nestle into my neck.
“It’s…erm…” “Lauren how bad?” I repeated and she sighed pulling away “Bad, it’s not going to…I’m scared” she whispered he end bit her eyes glossing over with tears and I hugged her again.
“Are you not having treatment? You’ll be okay, it went last time,” I reassured and she shook her head “It won’t go away, this time it’s not worked. I have to go or I’ll be late,” “Where are you going?” I asked and she looked at me as I let her go “The hospital,” “Can I come with you?” I said and she nodded slowly.
By the time we left she was a lot quieter “Lauren, why didn’t you tell me?” “I didn’t want to bother you, I mean you’ve got this cool life and mine’s boring. If I told you I didn’t want toy thinking you had to come see me because you don’t, this is my problem,” she explained and I sighed.
“Lauren I don’t know what to say. So why don’t you work anymore?” I asked and she smiled. “What’s the point in me working, who wants to spend time working when you know you might not make bills next month,” she said smiling at me and I looked at her stopping walking.
“Well you won’t make your bills if you don’t work,” “When I say make my bills I don’t mean money, Jonathan 7 months ago I was told I wasn’t going to be around for long,” she admitted and I looked at her as she coughed and I’d noticed she’d been doing that a lot and was out of breath a lot since the moment I sat on that bench.
“How long?” “Well they said 5 months and I’ve had 7 so I’m lucky I guess,” she said smiling as I felt tears in my eyes and my throat close “Hey it’s okay, don’t you worry about me. I’ve done everything I wanted to do since I got told, if I left today I’d have done everything. I went to see my parents’ graves, I finally told Mason and the others how I felt, I’ve been place I’ve always wanted to go. Honestly Jonathan it’s fine,” she reassured and I shook my head.
“So what you were just going to never tell me? What did you think I’d never wonder what happened to you, how is that fair to let me just go on thinking you were okay and never tell me you were ill again?” I snapped and she shook her head “I didn’t know what to say, oh hey Jonathan remember me Lauren. Well I’m dying,” she mocked and I glared at her.
“I’m glad you find it funny because I really do not!” I growled at her and she shook her head “Funny? This is anything but funny! I spend every day wondering when it will happen, what it’ll feel like and then I realize I’m sitting around waiting to die. Jonathan I’m waiting for this to be my last day, where’s the funny part of that?” she asked and I looked away from her.
I swallowed looking back “Don’t cry, I don’t need people crying, it makes me feel worse and if I have to wait around for the inevitable to happen I don’t want my last thoughts to be sad ones!” she explained and I rubbed my eyes.
“But you can’t, you got better last time so you can this time,” I stumbled over my words and she shook her head “I can’t, they’ve tried everything. There’s nothing left to do, I’m living on time I shouldn’t even have and for that I’m grateful,” she smiled at me and I shook my head.
“Jonathan it’s okay, I was ready to face this. It’s okay; it’s just scary thinking about it sometimes. I just hate that I’m waiting for I to happen but I have nothing left to do,” she mumbled and I looked at her.
“Come with us, you’ve never been on tour before and we can show you what it’s like and then I’ll come back here with you,” I reasoned and she shook her head.
“I’m not doing that, this is your life. You have things you need to do and they don’t include hanging around with me, it’s better for us both if that doesn’t happen,” she laughed and I shook my head.
“Fine, I’ll think about it but we both know I have a track record of you asking me this type of thing,” she joked an I laughed at her.
I was trying to concentrate I really was but I really wanted to go somewhere else right now “Jonathan come on man, you’re not even singing the right words!” Caleb growled at me and I sighed.
“Can we take a break, my heads going crazy?” I said and he rolled his eyes “Fine! Come on lets get this over with!” he snapped as he held the door open and we set off down the street.
I felt nervous, the good kind as I walked the streets I’d not been on in 3 years now. “Is this such a good idea?” Austin asked and I looked around at him. “Come on it’s been 3 years, if the girl wanted to see you she’d have spoken to you, texted you, come visit and she’s done nothing. From the moment we got on that plane you’ve not heard from her, doesn’t that tell you something?” he said and I shook my head.
“Who knew her the best? Me! I knew this might happen; look even if she doesn’t want to see me I just want to see her, to know what’s going on in her life now. I’m not expecting anything other than a chat, I just want to talk to her about random stuff and then we can go,” I reasoned and Caleb groaned.
“He’s right, if we stop him doing this he’ll not concentrate for the next 2 days. We need him to concentrate to get this show done and move on. Let him do it,” Caleb backed me up and I smiled at him.
I stopped dead outside the bar and Austin opened the door for me and my eyes scanned the place to not see anything I wanted to see. “Come on!” Caleb mumbled pushing me through the door and I looked around again double-checking but nothing.
Austin ordered as Caleb forced me to a seat and I looked at them both “Maybe she’s not on this shift, and maybe she doesn’t work here anymore?” Austin suggested and I shook my head getting up and walking to the bar.
“Hey, how can I help you?” the woman asked me and I smiled at her “Does someone named Lauren work here?” I asked and she shook her head “Never heard of her sorry” “Oh, she used to work here about 3 years ago. Do you know of anyone who would know?” I pushed and she nodded.
“Hang on Eddy’s been here about 3 years now I think. Eddy!” she shouted and this guy walked out from a door behind the bar.
He looked at me “Wants to know about someone named Lauren” “Lauren, nobody here named that,” he answered smiling. “She was here 3 years ago. Some people called her Lo?” I added and he nodded slowly.
“Lo, yeah I know who you mean. Brunette, late 20’s?” he asked and I nodded. “Yeah, I take it she doesn’t work here anymore? Do you know where she works?” “Works? Nah she doesn’t work any more man. Left here about 7 months ago and not had a job since,” he explained.
“Oh, does she still live around here? She used to live in them apartments couple blocks over, I’ve not seen her in forever and I’m back in town for a couple days and I really wanted to catch up with her and see how she is nowadays and what she’s doing with herself,” I admitted and he pointed out another customer and the girl disappeared.
“No she doesn’t live there anymore, she moved out a while back now. Fell out with her housemate, you knew her?” “Yeah” I answered and he sighed.
“I don’t want to be the bearer of bad news but she’s not been well, she’s been in and out of hospital for a long time now,” I felt my stomach drop.
“Is she…where is she?” I asked, “Look I don’t know where she lives these days but she’s normally downtown at this time of day,” “Thanks!” I stated before practically running out the place whilst the others shouted after me.
I didn’t have to ask where she’s be, I knew the only place here that held any attachment to her was the park and I remembered it perfectly. I reached the gates walking in scanning the place to see people sat on benches talking away before realizing it was lunchtime and people were on breaks. I walked around the path looking around when I saw someone sat huddled up and I stopped looking at them, “Lauren,” I said and they looked around slowly.
“Jonathan?” she asked and I smiled walking to sit next to her “What are you doing here?” “I’ve got a show here tomorrow,” I answered smiling at her.
She nodded slowly and it fell silent feeling awkward “So what do you do these days?” I asked “Oh I erm, I don’t work,” she answered and I nodded.
“So do you still live with…” “No! I left not long after you left; I have a tiny place now. Barely room for me but it’s all I cold afford. You take what you’re given really don’t you?” she replied and I nodded.
I saw Alex a couple months back, he said he’d not spoken to you since he left years back now, same for Gabe,” I said and she sighed “I know, things were just…” “I know, sometimes things are better left alone. Do you want to get lunch or something, you know to just catch up?” I suggested and she shook her head.
“I have somewhere to be, sorry,” “Oh okay, well we’ve got press tonight but tomorrow I’m free all day and we’re playing at like 7. You should come! I can get you a ticket plus the guys would like to see you,” I smiled and she nodded.
“Maybe, I have to go otherwise I’ll be late,” she mumbled getting up and I stood up. “It was great to see you though, you look good,” she smiled and I hugged her against me “Lauren how bad is it?” I asked quietly and I felt her head nestle into my neck.
“It’s…erm…” “Lauren how bad?” I repeated and she sighed pulling away “Bad, it’s not going to…I’m scared” she whispered he end bit her eyes glossing over with tears and I hugged her again.
“Are you not having treatment? You’ll be okay, it went last time,” I reassured and she shook her head “It won’t go away, this time it’s not worked. I have to go or I’ll be late,” “Where are you going?” I asked and she looked at me as I let her go “The hospital,” “Can I come with you?” I said and she nodded slowly.
By the time we left she was a lot quieter “Lauren, why didn’t you tell me?” “I didn’t want to bother you, I mean you’ve got this cool life and mine’s boring. If I told you I didn’t want toy thinking you had to come see me because you don’t, this is my problem,” she explained and I sighed.
“Lauren I don’t know what to say. So why don’t you work anymore?” I asked and she smiled. “What’s the point in me working, who wants to spend time working when you know you might not make bills next month,” she said smiling at me and I looked at her stopping walking.
“Well you won’t make your bills if you don’t work,” “When I say make my bills I don’t mean money, Jonathan 7 months ago I was told I wasn’t going to be around for long,” she admitted and I looked at her as she coughed and I’d noticed she’d been doing that a lot and was out of breath a lot since the moment I sat on that bench.
“How long?” “Well they said 5 months and I’ve had 7 so I’m lucky I guess,” she said smiling as I felt tears in my eyes and my throat close “Hey it’s okay, don’t you worry about me. I’ve done everything I wanted to do since I got told, if I left today I’d have done everything. I went to see my parents’ graves, I finally told Mason and the others how I felt, I’ve been place I’ve always wanted to go. Honestly Jonathan it’s fine,” she reassured and I shook my head.
“So what you were just going to never tell me? What did you think I’d never wonder what happened to you, how is that fair to let me just go on thinking you were okay and never tell me you were ill again?” I snapped and she shook her head “I didn’t know what to say, oh hey Jonathan remember me Lauren. Well I’m dying,” she mocked and I glared at her.
“I’m glad you find it funny because I really do not!” I growled at her and she shook her head “Funny? This is anything but funny! I spend every day wondering when it will happen, what it’ll feel like and then I realize I’m sitting around waiting to die. Jonathan I’m waiting for this to be my last day, where’s the funny part of that?” she asked and I looked away from her.
I swallowed looking back “Don’t cry, I don’t need people crying, it makes me feel worse and if I have to wait around for the inevitable to happen I don’t want my last thoughts to be sad ones!” she explained and I rubbed my eyes.
“But you can’t, you got better last time so you can this time,” I stumbled over my words and she shook her head “I can’t, they’ve tried everything. There’s nothing left to do, I’m living on time I shouldn’t even have and for that I’m grateful,” she smiled at me and I shook my head.
“Jonathan it’s okay, I was ready to face this. It’s okay; it’s just scary thinking about it sometimes. I just hate that I’m waiting for I to happen but I have nothing left to do,” she mumbled and I looked at her.
“Come with us, you’ve never been on tour before and we can show you what it’s like and then I’ll come back here with you,” I reasoned and she shook her head.
“I’m not doing that, this is your life. You have things you need to do and they don’t include hanging around with me, it’s better for us both if that doesn’t happen,” she laughed and I shook my head.
“Fine, I’ll think about it but we both know I have a track record of you asking me this type of thing,” she joked an I laughed at her.