Pretty Follies

I was on the biggest high and I wasn’t coming down anytime soon. Lorraine’s lips felt so natural when they moved against mine. I didn’t think it was going to be this natural after how much time we had spent avoiding each other and being hostile. But it felt better than natural, it was perfect.

I could feel my skin quiver when Lorraine’s small fingers ran over my arm. They traced up me until her hands held my neck and I quickly put my hand on the small of her back to pull her close. Her hands seemed to not be able to stay still, grazing different areas of my neck with her delicate touch, making me crazy. I moved even closer to her and definitely not as delicate and smooth as her, my hands traveled up and down her torso. It was as if our hands just couldn’t decide what they wanted. This was all, too foreign, too unheard of, to exciting, to be calm. Finally her hands rested gently on my chest as we savored the taste of each other.

I started to become a little more aggressive, taking Lorraine off guard and forcing her back a little. She grabbed at my shirt, trying to get a good grip on me just as her lips tried to press even harder into mine.

At that tiny little motion, the slightest way she pushed harder into me, the tug at my shirt to bring me closer to her, my stomach knotted with pleasure; she wanted this just as much as I did. All the time I had been gaping at her newfound attraction and fascination, thinking that I was crazy for desiring her as much I did and so out of the blue, but I guess it wasn’t as crazy as I thought it was.

When we broke apart to get a breath I saw a tiny hint of a smile on Lorraine’s lips. I nuzzled my nose against hers happily before our lips collided again, and this time our tongues entwined.

Grabbing her hair with one hand, the other hand strongly gripping her hip, I lowered us to the ground. I was so completely lost in moment that I forgot to baby her ankle. I could feel her face wince against me, but it didn’t stop her from attacking me as much I was her. I was sure by the way I was grabbing her hip so hard, she would have bruises from the roughness and force of my fingers. Lorraine was quickly becoming more insistent, pulling me down on her, every inch of my body tight and heavy on her, and our tongues pushing for the other aggressively.

Two days ago, this would have been unheard of. Lorraine wouldn’t have been running her fingers through my hair, causing me to go lightheaded. I wouldn’t have dared to inch my fingers up her shirt, unless I had a death wish.

I loved the dainty touch she had on me, so feeble, yet powerful. I loved how she let me lead and I could finally hold her. It hadn’t been a very long time since I realized that I wanted her, but it felt like it had been. Each minute I had to have her on my back, her body pressed against my spine made time slow to almost a stand still. And now she was in my arms.

I didn’t want to move from here. I just wanted be here with her, because I was finally happy.

But all too quickly, Lorraine detached from me, leaving my lips feeing vacant. I finally opened my eyes, seeing she had relaxed her head and was looking up at me. Sighing contently, she untangled her fingers from my hair and ran them down my arms which were still on either side of her, trapping her beneath me. I looked into her eyes hungrily, oh the things I wanted to do.

There was a glimmer of bliss in her eyes as she stared absorbedly at me and I sighed slowly. I cupped her cheek with the hand that wasn’t supported me, leaned down and left a tender kiss on her lips, letting my face linger above hers before rolling off.

None of us said anything. Maybe we should have; we were in a complicated situation now. We didn’t think about that though, we just lay with each other silently, but content. I wasn’t sure how to act anymore. It never really mattered how I had acted around her before, considering I didn’t care whether she was pleased or upset with me. But we had jumped from fighting to liking each other a lot, and it made for a sticky situation.

Sometime while lying with each other, we finally agreed that we didn’t want to keep going. We continued to lie there, mumbling to each other with barely any strength left. Most of the time it was quiet, a small sound of leaves ruffling from the wind once and a while, and the majority of the silence I thought about Lorraine, what had just happened and how much I had enjoyed it. Replaying the moment in my head; her soft skin, her teeth lightly tugging on my bottom lip, how absolutely lucrative it felt to feel her.

I looked up at the tree tops towering above us and Lorraine did the same. Both deep in thought about things, Lorraine’s voice was timid when she spoke. “What’s gonna happen, Alex?” There was a horrible worry in her voice; she was scared. I could practically feel the nerves creeping up her throat as she clenched my arm. That was an emotion that I had rarely seen from Lorraine, and she was showing me her vulnerability at last. And just like the other times Lorraine has acted like this, I didn’t have an answer or a clue on how to act.

“I-I don’t know…” I said pathetically, scared of thinking about it. We were done. We were exhausted. Walking around without food or water for who knows how long. We never found our family. We never found the car. We never found the stream. We never found any help.

I turned my head to the side to look at her, her face still gazing worriedly skyward. I didn’t know how to comfort her. It was déjà vu from the entire crying episode a few days ago. Should I hug her, grab her hand? The last time I tried to comfort her physically she started punching me. Now things were different between us and yet I still couldn’t overstep any more boundaries than I already had.

It was as if Lorraine picked up on my indecisiveness and she took the initiative and scooted her body the couple additional inches to close the gap between us. My stomach leaped again, just like it had when we were kissing and Lorraine pulled me closer to her. It was that feeling of surprise; that Lorraine had the same feelings for me as I did for her. And, strangely for once in our lives we had mutual mind-sets and worked with harmony.

A grin rose to my face as soon as I realized this and the same time I felt her side rub against mine, easing my anxiety. For some reason, Lorraine made me feel self-conscious about my actions towards her and what I said around her. I didn’t want to upset her, only to make her happy. For that reason, I stayed in my confused mindset. But this was Lorraine, and she could tell what I was feeling, easily. She then grabbed my forearm, moving it to place it behind her and under her head. It was then folded around her waist, encircling her body with my arm.

Immediately after doing so, Lorraine shifted her eyes to look up at me. It was like she was scared of how I was going to react to what she had just done. I didn’t yell, or yank my arm away. I was thrilled she was able to be forward when I was caught in this unusual hesitancy. I connected my eyes to hers and smiled, and then probably doing the exact opposite of what Lorraine was expecting me to do, I tightened my grip on her.

Taking in a deep breath and letting it out slowly, Lorraine closed her eyes and snuggled closer to me and I held her tightly. We stayed like that for a while, not moving or talking. All of it was too hard and too much work. It was in that moment that I decided if this was how we ended, I would be happy.

With Lorraine next to me, the person that was a stone of comfort, I felt safe. I learned a lot over the past couple days and I wouldn’t have gone back to change any of it, I decided. Lorraine earlier said she had wished that we had never had lost touch. But now that I thought about it, if her wish would have come true, I could never be sure that I would still be holding this girl in my arms right now. And that, that was something that I didn’t want to risk.

I felt myself losing my focus quickly. When I had lost my vision a couple minutes ago, I thought it was just me going dizzy for second, because not even ten seconds later I had regained my consciousness. This time though, my vision wasn’t coming back. I thought I heard Lorraine whisper something to me, but I was too out of it to make out what she said. I couldn’t figure out was going on. I started to panic, yet I couldn’t move to say or signal anything. My mouth wouldn’t move. I was losing feeling. Was Lorraine still in my arms? Was it the ground that I was lying on? My mind was going hazy. Everything was brown and hollow. I tried to hold onto reality. Everything was flying, I was falling and then, I was gone.