Driven to Distraction

“I’m just saying, John’s gotten me in trouble everyday this week, and the last thing I need is to get a detention,” I told Kelsi as we both walked towards the flame that was illuminating the darkness around us

She laughed. “I still don’t understand why you two hate each other so much. I mean, I know what happened when we were younger, but that was in the past.”

“John’s a fucking douche. That’s why we hate each other so much.”

“Hey, ladies!” Jared smiled, waving us over to the bonfire he had set up

“Hey, Jare. Where’s everybody at?” Kelsi asked, giving him a side hug.

“You guys are early,” he chuckled. “Garrett’s the only one here right now, but the others should be coming soon.”

After giving him a hug as well, I began looking around. “Are you sure it’s okay to have a bonfire here? I mean … we won’t get in trouble or anything, right?”

He gave me a look, smirking. “Are you afraid of getting into a little trouble, Ketely?”

“If it involves the cops and me getting arrested for trespassing, then yes, I’m afraid,” I stated, pushing his shoulder playfully.

He laughed. “Just chill out and grab a beer, K.”

I did as he told me to; grabbing a nice, cold Bud Light from one of the three ice chests he had placed near the fire. I had thought when everyone said Jared was having a bonfire, that it was actually going to be at his house, and not near some creek in the middle of nowhere. But, then again, I had alcohol and I wasn’t going to complain.

“Jewel, you started drinking without me?” Garrett pouted, walking over to me.

I smiled innocently. “Sorry, Gary.”

He chuckled and gave me a hug. “I’m glad you came. You need some fun in your life.”

Before I could say anything smart to him, a truck’s headlights blinded us at it parked next to Kelsi's car. I squinted and turned away, my eyes hurting from the lights. “Who is that?”

“Uh …” he mumbled, looking at the truck. “I don’t think you want to know.”

“I’m here, putos! The fiesta can now begin!”

I wanted to cringe at the sound of his voice. I chugged nearly half my bottle before he was able to make his way over to Garrett and I. I noticed Kennedy and Pat trekking behind him, and I waved at them, as they both gave me a smile.

“Has anyone ever told you, you have a creepy smile, Morrison?” John said, making a face at me.

“Oh, for the love of all that is great in the world, please don’t start you two!” Garrett sighed.

“Talk to him! He always has to open his mouth and say something!” I argued.

“Only because you always do something to make me say something!” John retorted.

“Ugh,” I scoffed. “I’m gonna go talk to Pat.”

After properly greeting both Pat and Kennedy, we made small talk while car after car pulled up, more kids from our school joining the party. Jared had gotten the fire to a pretty decent size, and we all took a seat on the grass, making a large circle around the flames.

It was a weird thing to explain, but in all honesty, fires of any sort had become a scary thing to me. It brought back horrible memories of that night, and I hadn’t realized that I was scooted so close to Garrett, that our legs and arms were touching, until he laughed.

“Any closer and you’d be on my lap,” he joked.

I blushed and looked down at my legs. “Sorry, Gare.”

“I was only joking, Jewel. Are you okay?” he asked, wrapping an arm around my shoulders.

“Yeah … yeah, I’m fine,” I lied before taking a sip of my second beer for the night.

I felt a pair of eyes on me, and it wasn’t until I looked up that I realized they belonged to a certain boy who made my skin crawl. His green eyes were nearly piercing me with the intensity of his gaze, and I could swear that he knew exactly why I was sitting so close to Garrett; why the flames of the fire scared me so much. But then again, that could have just been my imagination, because as soon as he realized we were staring at each other, he turned to the pretty blond beside him, engaging in a conversation with her.

Someone began playing music from their car, and the party took off after that. Everyone was drinking and talking and laughing, enjoying themselves. And after a few more beers, I was also able to enjoy myself, forgetting any and all of my worries whilst I talked to Garrett, who was trying to convince me that zombie movies were the greatest movies of all time.

“Hey, turn it up!” Kennedy yelled loudly as a song began playing on the radio.

When I realized what song it was, I began smiling. “I love this song.”

Garrett laughed. “I think we all do, babe.” He draped an arm around me, and I laid my head on his shoulder, listening as seemingly everyone began singing along to Oasis.

“ … Backbeat, the word is on the street that the fire in your heart is out. I’m sure you’ve heard it all before, but you never really had a doubt. I don’t believe that anybody feels the way I do, about you now. And all the roads we have to walk are winding. And all the lights that lead us there are blinding. There are many things that I would like to say to you, but I don’t know how …” And simultaneously, everyone sang louder as the next lines came up. “Because maybe, you’re gonna be the one that saves me. And after all, you’re my wonderwall …”

I giggled as I listened to Garrett sing, the affects of the alcohol beginning to take over my body.

“Ketely, sing,” he pouted.

So, I did. I let go of my inhibitions, which was probably thanks to the alcohol, and I began singing just as loud as everyone else. And when the song came to an end, I found myself wishing it lasted longer; that that moment had lasted longer.

“Shots, anyone?” Jared asked, already looking tipsy, as he held up two bottles of liquor.

“Pass that bottle this way, my man,” Garrett smiled, his cheeks a bit pink from the alcohol in his body.

“You got it,” Jared said, handing the clear bottle to him.

“To friendship,” Garrett stated before taking a large gulp of the liquid. When he finished, he passed it to me, and I gave him a weary look; I wasn’t exactly a big drinker. “Just take a swig, Jewel.”

“I guess it couldn’t hurt …” I uttered before pressing the bottle to my lips, taking a large gulp. I groaned as the tequila made its way down my throat, burning slightly.

He laughed. “You’ll get used to the taste.”

And that’s how it went for awhile; Garrett and I passing the bottle back and forth while talking about anything and everything that came to mind. And with every chug, I felt myself becoming louder, more talkative, and feeling more free than I had ever felt in my life.

“Let’s dance, Jewel,” he said, grabbing my hand to pull us up.

I stumbled a bit as I landed on my feet, my head spinning. I had to squint in order to make out where Garrett was, but once I saw him, he wasted no time in pulling me into him. We began dancing wildly to a rap song playing on the radio, and being that either of us really ever listened to rap, we pretended like we knew what we were doing, whilst laughing at each other. We stepped on each other’s feet, and bumped our foreheads a few times, but we loved every moment of it.

As the night wore on, people began leaving, and the few that stayed behind, were couples trying to find a place to share an intimate moment.

“John, can I talk to you?” Kelsi asked, looking at him. He gave a hug to the blond who had been attached to his hip the entire time before making his way over to her. My brows furrowed as I watched them whisper back and forth. Whatever was being said, I could tell by the look on John’s face, that he wasn’t exactly happy with it. “Ketely!” she yelled, once they were done talking and John had walked off.

I trekked to her slowly, not sure if I wanted to know why she was calling me over. “What’s going on?”

She bit down on her bottom lip, a blush coming to her cheeks. “Okay, so … Kennedy and I are gonna go back to his house since his parents are out of town …”

“But … you’re my ride?” I asked more than stated.

“Well, that’s what I was just talking to John about. I as-“

“Oh, no! Absolutely not, Kelsi!”

“Come on, Ketely! Your house is only, like, twenty minutes away! I would have asked Garrett to take you home, but he’s obviously in no condition to even drive himself home,” she sighed.

I groaned and brought my index fingers to my temples, massaging the migraine that was forming. “I guess I have no other choice …”

She smiled and pulled me into a hug. “Just turn the radio up and you’ll be home in no time! I love you, K!”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. I love you, too,” I said, rolling my eyes. I walked back over to Garrett and pulled him into a hug. “I’ll see you at school, Gary.”

He smiled and I could see the thick glaze over his eyes. “I’ll see you at school, Jewel,” he slurred.

I gave him a kiss on the cheek before begrudgingly walking towards the old white pickup parked next to Kelsi’s car. When I attempted to open the passenger side door, I realized it was locked. I rolled my eyes. “John, open the door!”

He leaned over and rolled down the window, looking at me. “Before I let you into Rosie, there are a few rules we have to go over.”

I sighed. “Really, John?”

“Yes. Firstly, no touching my radio. I control what we listen to and at what level. Secondly, no throwing up, because I just cleaned it out. Lastly, you have to say the secret word for the door to open,” he smirked.

I held back the string of curse words dying to leave my lips and instead, gave him a fake smile. “Please, open the door, John.”

“Very good,” he said before unlocking the door.

“Asshole,” I mumbled under my breath as I slid into the seat, closing the door.

“What was that, Ketely?”

“Nothing,” I lied, buckling my seatbelt.

“That’s what I thought.” He reversed and we began driving over the grass, heading towards the long, desert road. He turned up the radio, and I recognized the music playing.

“I didn’t know you like Sigur Ros,” I said.

He looked at me, a shocked expression on his face. “I didn’t know you knew who they were, either. Most people don’t.”

I shrugged and we both listened to the relaxing music playing over the speakers, filling up the car. As we made it onto the road, I pressed my head against the window, letting the AC blow over my warm face.

“You’re not getting sick are you?” he asked.

“No. I’m just tired.” He nodded his head before we were both silent again.

The long drive was making me sleepy, and just as I felt my eyelids about to close, I noticed we were entering my neighborhood. I was surprised that John remembered where my house was, but I said nothing as he pulled into the empty driveway; my father had more than likely fallen asleep at his office again – he had been doing that a lot lately.

“No one’s home?” he asked.

I shook my head, unbuckling my seatbelt. “It’s just me. It always is,” I said quietly.

He let his hands slide down the steering wheel. “Well, that must suck.”

“It does.”

We both grew quiet, and after a moment, he looked at me. “Uh … well, are you going to go in?”

I knew I shouldn't ask him for any favors, but I couldn’t help myself. “John, would – would you stay the night with me?”

A bewildered look took over his face. “What?”

“I’m not talking about doing anything. I just – I really don’t want to be by myself tonight. Would you mind staying over?”

He cleared his throat before wiping the palms of his hands on his jeans. “Well … I mean – I guess.”

I nodded my head and opened my door, stepping onto the concrete. I slid my keys out from the pocket of my shorts, and began walking to my door. I slid the key in the lock and turned it, opening the door. I turned around and noticed John was standing awkwardly in front of his truck. “What?” I asked, confused.

“Are you sure you want me to stay the night? I mean, wouldn’t you rather Garrett or someone else?”

I bit down on my bottom lip. “If you don’t want to stay John, you really don’t have to. You can go home.”

He sighed and shook his head. “No, no, I’ll stay. Let’s go.”

We both walked into the empty living room, and I looked around. “Are you hungry or anything?”

“Kind of,” he said.

I nodded my head and walked into the kitchen, turning on the light. “I have some left over pizza from yesterday. Is that good with you?”

“Yeah, that’s fine.”

I stuck two slices onto one plate, and three slices onto another plate. I put one in the microwave and walked back to the fridge, grabbing out two sodas. “Here,” I offered, handing one to him.

“Thanks.”

“Yep.” When the microwave beeped, I took the plate out, placing the other one in. I set the plate with three, warm slices in front of John.

He immediately grabbed a slice, biting into it. When the microwave beeped again, I took out my plate and set it on the counter, before I began eating as well. I couldn’t lie and say that it wasn’t awkward, because it was. There was an uncomfortable silence between us, but I didn’t know how to break it.

When we finished eating, I placed both of our plates in the sink and washed my hands. John washed his after me, and we both stared at each other for a moment.

“So, uh … where am I sleeping?” he asked, glancing around the kitchen.

“Well, there’s a guest room, but we haven’t put a bed in yet, so I guess you can take my room and I’ll sleep on the couch.”

He arched his brows. “What? No, you go ahead and sleep on your bed. I’ll crash on the couch.”

“John, you’re the guest,” I insisted.

“So what? You look like you need a good night’s sleep, Morrison.”

I casted my gaze onto the floor, a thought popping into my head. “Would it be asking too much if I asked you to sleep with me?”

“Ketely-” he began before I cut him off.

“God, John, not like that! I mean, you can just sleep next to me. I have a queen sized bed, so I mean, there’s room …”

He ran a hand through his hair, giving a long sigh. “Yeah, that’s – that’s fine.”

“Okay …” I began making my way out of the kitchen and up the stairs, John trailing behind me.

As soon as we reached my room, I immediately turned on my light and lamps, making it as bright as possible. John closed the door behind him and glanced around the room.

“Wow,” he said.

“What?” I questioned, turning around.

“I was just looking at your posters … we like a lot of the same bands; namely Tom Petty and Death Cab,” he explained.

I looked at the posters hanging on the wall in front of my bed. “Oh … Yeah.” He kicked his shoes off and sat them beside the door, before unbuckling his belt. “What are you doing?”

He gave me a ‘duh’ look. “I can’t sleep in jeans, Morrison. It’s extremely uncomfortable.”

I didn’t say anything as I grabbed a pair of flannel pajama pants from my dresser. “I’ll change in the bathroom. You can – uh – make yourself comfortable, I guess.”

I walked into my bathroom, closing the door. I slid off my sandals and shorts, putting on my pajama pants. I washed my face, and glanced at myself in the mirror. I truly looked like hell – my eyes were red and had dark circles around them, having formed from my lack of sleep. I sighed before turning off the light and running back into my room.

John gave me confused look as I entered. “What?”

“Why were you running?” he asked, staring at me.

“No reason,” I lied, walking over to my bed.

“Whatever. Can I turn the lights off?”

“No!” I shouted quickly, causing John, whose hand was reaching for the switch, to freeze.

“Why not? Normal people sleep with the lights off, Ketely.”

“I – I know. I just … I like them on.”

He cocked his head to the side. “Are you afraid of the dark, Morrison?” I crossed my arms over my chest, looking away from him. When he realized that was all the answer he needed, he began laughing. “Oh my God, you are!”

“It’s not funny, John! Stop laughing at me!” I snapped, tears pricking my eyes.

When he saw that, his laughter stopped. “I was just joking around, Ketely.” I bit down on my bottom lip, sitting down on the edge of my bed. I wiped my eyes as he took a seat next to me, placing his hands in his lap. “Is, uh, is there a reason why you’re scared?”

“I’d tell you, but you’d probably just laugh at me.”

He sighed. “I won’t. I promise.”

I eyed him warily before giving in. “I haven’t been able to sleep in the dark since my mom died … I actually haven’t been able to sleep at all.”

“Is that why you always look like death?” I glared at him and he frowned. “I’m sorry. It’s just a habit to be mean to you.”

I rolled my eyes. “Whatever.”

“Well, since I’m here, and you’re not alone, do you want to try and turn the lights off?”

I looked at him, fear evident in my eyes. “I – I don’t know.”

“Come on, Ketely. I’m right here if anything happens. And if you decide you can’t take it, I can just turn them back on,” he pushed.

“I – I guess, John,” I said softly.

He got up to turn the lights off, and I ran to my bed, getting under the covers. When the darkness took over the room, I pulled the blanket over my head, clamping my eyes shut. I could feel my breathing becoming shallow, and as I felt the space beside me sink, I tried to convince myself that there was nothing to scared of, being that John was here.

“Morrison?” he asked, reaching his hand over the blanket. When he realized I was under the blanket, he peeled it away from my face. “Come on, Ketely, you can’t be that scared.”

“I am,” I whispered, still having my eyes closed.

“Hey, breathe, Morrison,” he said softly, grabbing my hand.

I’d be lying if I said my skin didn’t tingle as his skin met mine.

“Can I tell you something?”

“Yeah, sure,” he answered.

I swallowed my fear as I turned onto my side, looking at him. “The last time that I slept – I mean really slept without any nightmares – was that night at the park with you. I don’t even remember dreaming anything at all that night,” I confessed.

He didn’t say anything for a moment. “Is – is that why you asked me to stay the night?”

“Yes,” I said.

“Morrison … why haven’t you seen anybody about this? I mean, like a doctor or something? I’m sure they would be able to prescribe you some kind of sleeping pill.”

I tried not giving into my tears, as I closed my eyes. “Because I can’t tell my dad, John. He has his own problems to worry about.”

“But you’re his daughter,” he argued.

“It doesn’t matter. I don’t want to have to depend on any pills to make me sleep … I’d be tempted to sleep forever …”

I didn’t know why I spilling all of this to John, but I was. And moreover, I was shocked that he was actually listening to me, and not laughing in my face.

“You don’t mean that, Morrison.”

I sniffled, wiping away the stray tears that had fallen down my cheeks. “Maybe I don’t, maybe I do.”

“Here,” he said, placing an arm under my head, and wrapping the other around my body, making it so our bodies were pressed together. “Just close your eyes, and try to sleep.”

“I’m scared of sleeping,” I cried.

I felt him shudder as my tears hit his bare chest. “Do me a favor and just close your eyes, okay?”

“Okay,” I breathed, closing my eyes.

And the next thing that happened shocked me. John began singing. Albeit, his voice was soft, and raspy, but he was singing and it sounded beautiful.

“Oh, my talking bird … Though you know so few words, they’re on infinite repeat, like your brain can’t keep up with your beak. And you’re kept in an open cage, so you’re free to leave or stay. And sometimes you get confused, like there is a hint that I’m trying to give you … The longer you think, the less you know what to do ... It’s hard to see your way out, when you live in a house in a house. ‘Cause you don’t realize, that the windows were open the whole time. But oh, my talking bird, though your feathers are tattered and furled, I’ll love you all your days, ‘till the breath leaves your delicate frame. It’s all here for you, as long as you choose to stay … It’s all here for you, as long as you don’t fly away …”

__________________________________________________________

“Ketely … Morrison!” I heard as my body was shaken.

“What?” I moaned, my eyes still closed.

“Get off of me,” John groaned, pushing my body away from his.

I hugged my pillow, still too tired to open my eyes. “Mmm,” I hummed.

He chuckled. “It’s like twelve o’clock, you know.”

“I’m so sleepy, though.”

“I have to get home. My parents are probably wondering where I am,” he said.

At that, I rolled over and looked at him, squinting as the sunlight coming in through my window pierced my eyes. “Thanks for staying over.”

He smiled as he put on his jeans. “It was no problem.” I yawned as I fell onto my back, staring up at my ceiling. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him slipping his shoes on. Just as he went to open the door, I called his name. “Yes, Morrison?”

I laughed softly, bringing a wad of my blanket under my chin. “You have a beautiful voice. It’s … relaxing,” I told him, feeling my cheeks warm.

I could see a light blush sweeping over his cheeks as well, before he smirked. “I’m just full of good qualities.” He gave me a wink before disappearing down the stairs.

I don’t know why it was, but as soon as I heard the front door close, I missed him.

And that scared me, because John and I had never been that close before.

I groaned and buried my face into a pillow, which was the worst thing I could have done, because his scent lingered on the fabric.

“Damn you, John O’Callaghan.”