They'll Never Take My Heart

I was trying so hard to not to run away. Don’t get me wrong, Candy and Angel were great hosts. We were staying in an old police station, cells and everything. They turned those into the bedrooms. It was pretty cool, I guess, but not home. They took time out of their weapons repairing every day to talk to me. But I couldn’t get Trigger’s words from our first meeting out of my head.
“You said Party Poison didn’t care that much, what if none of them do? They can’t appreciate what you want like I do, because we’re the same, Adrenaline.” The first time Silver got hurt and almost died, I got to stay and offer whatever support I could. Now I had to go and stay with another family. Silver would be fine, I knew, so why did I have to go? Maybe Trigger was right. They didn’t want me. They had Silver and Killer, their two perfect warrior children, and that family was complete. I would never hate any of them. I would never envy, or plot against, or hold a grudge against any of them either. They were all amazing killjoys, and I just needed somewhere else to fit in. So when Trigger and Blood came to my window one night when I was waiting up for any news from the guys on Silver? I left my mask behind and silently prayed that my family wouldn’t hate me either. Maybe I was selfish for doing this. Maybe this entire thing would bring upon the downfall of the entire killjoy resistance. Or maybe now everything would work out for the better.
“I knew you’d see it our way, Adrenaline.” Trigger whispered as he helped me climb out the window.
“That’s not my name anymore.” I replied, pushing my goggles into place and pulling a black bandanna over my nose. Something needed to protect my identity still. “Adrenaline Frequency is the girl behind that mask, and until I put it on again, if I ever do, you can call me Chemical Lantern.”
“Anything you say, Chem.” Trigger replied, and Blood put an arm around my shoulder.
“I know that most explosives are made with nitroglycerin, so I took all that I could and put it into the basement.”
“Thanks, Blood. I’ll start as soon as we get there, but can we head to the Mailbox first?”
“Sure, but we have to be back at the base before sun up.” Both of them had motorcycles, so I climbed on behind Trigger and wrapped my arms tightly around his stomach. So he was creepy. But he also understood the mindset I was in. I like to think those things canceled each other out, so for now, he was okay. It wasn’t long until we pulled up to the brightly colored box, and I asked them to drive out a few hundred feet so I could talk to the box in private since I had no paper to write a letter. As soon as they were out of earshot, I sat down cross legged and gripped my knees tightly.
“I… really don’t want to do this. I still don’t trust them completely, and this could potentially be really dangerous, but it feels like the only option right now. I still love all of you. Silver, feel better, and Killer, it wasn’t your fault. Hopefully you won’t have to come rescue me again this time, because I won’t be who you remember me as. Since this is a mailbox and not in person, my name is Chemical Lantern. I left my mask with Candy and Angel on purpose so you hopefully won’t have to worry at all. I have to go now, but you’ll be in my heart forever, and please, don’t hate me for doing this.” I finished, standing up and brushing the sand off of me. Blood drove back and this time I climbed on behind him, and then we were back on the road to the old supermarket.
‘Please dear gun wielding god let this be the right choice.’ I thought and shut my eyes as the constant roar of the motor out me to sleep.