This Masterpiece Will Fall Apart

Josh had been back two times to get some of his things. He hadn't even told me where he was staying, but I understood that he was upset. I noticed he looked emotionally weak when he had been over; like he hadn't been sleeping, and I didn't blame him. Neither had I. I finally had to tell Airin what happened when he came over one day and noticed that a lot of Joshes things were missing. He wasn't mad, he said that he just felt bad for the kids. And honestly, I did too. I had caught Finley sitting next to the window almost every night since the day that Josh left; he told me, 'I'm going to be here when daddy gets back.' His hopefulness and optimism almost broke my heart. I didn't have it in me to tell him that his dad may or may not come back.

I had called Zack one early morning to help me with things around the house. Since Josh left, I had found myself extremely overwhelmed with Finley and the twins. Ever since the twins were born, Josh had been around more often than what he was when Finley was born, so I was used to having the extra pair of hands. Zack showed up only mere minutes after I had called him, and I was confused at his enthusiasm, but was happy just the same. I took Finley to school while Zack looked after the twins. Finley blathered away about something the whole drive (something about cats; he really was Joshes child), and I just nodded at him.

When I got back, Zack was laying on his back on the floor with Kodiak laying on his stomach, and Autumn was near Zack's leg, looking curiously at his prosthetic. “I'm gone twenty minutes and they've already got you pinned down?” I asked. Zack looked up slightly and smiled.

“Yeah, you know, they just tackled me to the floor. It's a good thing you got here when you did, or else I could of been a big pile of bones.” Zack joked. I rolled my eyes and picked up my daughter off the floor, and she made “grabby” hand motions towards Zack.

“Yes, because my children are cannibals.” I said.

“You never know.” Zack said. Kodiak started to roll off of Zack, so Zack put his arm up as a shield. “Where do you think you're going?” Kodiak hit Zack's arm and then started to whine. “Well, if you wouldn't of done that, you wouldn't be in this predicament, would you?” Zack moved Kodiak and then sat up right, setting Kodiak on the floor.

“Did I ever tell you that you'd be a great dad?” I smiled. Zack gave me a look that told me not to start with him. “You know you would.”

“I know nothing.” Zack said, and then caught that he had insulted himself when I opened my mouth to say something. “I heard it as soon as I said it. Shut up.” I smiled slightly and rocked back and forth on my feet slightly. Zack observed me carefully. “How are you actually doing Josline?”

“What do you mean?” I stopped rocking back and forth and looked at him.

“As soon as I walked into this house, I could tell you were depressed.” Zack said.

“Really? I hadn't noticed.” I said bitterly.

“Whoa, what did I do to deserve that?” Zack asked. I paused, then realizing my tone.

“I'm sorry Zack.” I said. “But wouldn't you be depressed?”

“If I were in your situation? Yes.” Zack told me. “But maybe this is what you two needed.”

“What do you mean by that?” I raised an eyebrow at him.

“You two had been on the rocks for a while here,” Zack said, and he was correct. Josh and I had been a little bit on edge with one another even before all of this had happened. Josh was stressing about the new album and all the other things he had going on, and I was stressing about an upcoming tour. “All I'm saying is that maybe this was good for you.”

“Good for what? Tearing apart my family?” I asked.

“That's not what I meant.” Zack frowned.

“Then what did you mean?” I snapped.

“I meant that maybe this time apart will be healthy. Maybe you two can get your heads straightened out and find out where you two really stand.” Zack said calmly.

“I already know where Josh and I stand. This is it, we're done, end of story.” I said. Zack looked at me with compassionate eyes.

“Now, don't be so negative.” Zack said, standing up with Kodiak. “You and Josh haven't actually talked about where you two are.”

“Does it really need to be talked about to know?” I asked.

“Well, If I was Josh in this situation, I would want to talk about it.” Zack said. “But, then again, if I were Josh, I would never want to let you go.”

“Zack, if you're trying to hit on me, it's not working.” I said. Zack stuttered a moment.

“I...you...shut up!” Zack pouted. “All I'm saying is that you two deserve to be happy.”

“Happy!” Zack and I both looked down at Autumn when she squealed.

“Oh, my God.” I said. “That's her first word! Autumn...happy!”

“Happy!” Autumn squealed again. I excitedly held my daughter to my chest.

“See, even your kid agrees with me.” Zack said, smiling slightly. I looked up at him and smiled.

It had been about two weeks since Josh had left and Finley was really starting to miss Josh, and I couldn't blame him. My phone started ringing on a Friday afternoon, and when I saw it was Joshes name on my caller ID, I was excited. “Hello?” I answered.

“Hi Josline.” Josh sounded tired.

“Hi Josh, what's up?” I tried to hide the excitement in my voice.

“I was wondering...” Josh paused, “If I could see the kids today?”

“O-of course you can.” I heard Josh heave a sigh of relief. “I would never deprive you of seeing them.”

“I know you wouldn't.” Josh said. I actually smiled. “So, is 5 a good time to come get them?”

“Yeah, sounds good. I'll make sure they're all ready.” I said.

“Great, I'll be there.” Josh said, and then we were both silent. “So...how are the kids?”

“They're good. Finley really misses you.” I told him.

“I miss him too.” Josh said. “How are the twins?”

“They're doing really well. Autumn said her first word last week!” I said. Zack came into the living room with a bowl of cereal.

“Who's that?” He asked with a mouthful of cereal. I mouthed “Josh” at him and Zack nodded.

“She did?” Josh asked; I could sense there was some hurt in his voice. “What is it?”

“Happy.”

“That's a great first word.” Josh told me.

“Helluva lot better than Finley's first word.” I joked.

“I think 'coke' is a perfect first word for a child of mine.” Josh said.

“Yeah, okay, whatever.” I said. “Kodiak is doing well too. He understands the signs for 'mother' and 'father' now.”

“That's really good!” Josh said.

“I taught him 'moose'.” Zack said.

“Is that Zack?” Josh asked.

“Yeah, he's been here helping out a little.” I explained.

“Oh, alright.” Josh said, and then it became awkwardly quiet between us. “So...I'll come get them around 5.”

“Alright, I'll see you then.” I said. Josh and I said goodbye and I found it hard to put down the phone. When I finally did hang up Zack looked at me strangely.

“What's going on?” he asked.

“Josh is coming over to get the kids around five.” I explained.

“Well, in that case, would you like to accompany me to the cinema tonight?” Zack asked.

“I already told you that I'm not going to see Twilight with you.” I said and Zack pouted.

“That's okay. It doesn't come out until November anyways.” Zack shrugged. “But you really need to get out of the house. You've been cooped up in here since Josh left.”

“I don't really think it's worth going outside.” I said.

“Hey now...”

“Well it's true. I feel like everyone is judging me.” I admitted. “The moms at Finley's school look at me strangely.”

“I bet Josh feels the same way, that people are judging him.”

“How would you know that?”

“Josh called me a few days after you had told me what happened.” Zack told me. “He's miserable Jaws.”

“Is that supposed to cheer me up?” I frowned.

“No, I didn't mean it that way.” Zack corrected himself, “He's miserable without you.”

“I honestly think this is it for us.” Zack looked like he had just been smacked in the face.

“Has Josh even said that he wants to break up?” Zack asked, waving his spoon at me.

“No, but I can feel it.” I said bluntly. “I wouldn't be surprised if he never forgave me.”

“You know just as well as me that you two are too stubborn to give up.” Zack said. “And you know, if this really is it for you guys, Josh is never going to completely walk out of your life. He is always going to be there for you and those kids. He loves you guys more than life itself.” Zack always seemed to know what to say. I knew Josh would never abandon being a father. I think Josh knew that if he did that, I, or anyone of our friends, would beat the shit out of him. Zack got out of the recliner and sat next to me on the couch. “You're never really rid of him.” Zack smiled. I smiled back and leaned my head against his shoulder.

Five finally rolled around and a sharp knock on the door told me that Josh was here. I walked over to the door with Autumn in one arm and pulled open the door. Josh indeed was there, and he looked more pale than normal. A light smile broke across his lips when he saw Autumn. Autumn made grabby motions towards him. “Hi sweetheart.” Josh said, taking Autumn from me and holding her close to his chest. He looked up at me, a smile still on his face. “Are they ready to go?” he asked and I nodded.

“Finley, get your things! Your dad's here.” I called out into the house. Finley came bolting out of his room with his Spiderman backpack thrown crookedly onto his back.

“Hi dad!” he exclaimed.

“Hey Fin.” Josh knelt down and gave him a one-armed hug. “Why don't you go wait in the car? Grandma's there. Finley's eyes brightened and he pushed his way past Josh and ran out the door. “You could at least put your shoes on!” Josh called after him, standing upright.

“Does he ever put his shoes on?” I asked. Josh shook his head and smiled.

“No, he doesn't. He's just like his mom.” Josh smirked at me.

“Oh, shut up.” I pushed on his arm that wasn't holding out daughter. Josh laughed, but it was an awkward laugh. We both stood in silence until Zack appeared, holding Kodiak above his head and wiggling him slightly and also making airplane noises. He stopped when he saw Josh at the door.

“Oh, hey Josh.” Zack said, bringing Kodiak down from above his head.

“Hey Zack. How's being Mr Mom?” Josh asked.

“Not bad actually.” Zack said, handing Kodiak off to me. “I might consider having me some of these little monsters.” Zack said. I opened my mouth to say something, but Zack pointed a threatening finger at me. “I said might! If my family spawns any more, we're going to be the Weasley's!” I chuckled at my friend as he went into the twins' room to get their diaper bag. He handed it off to Josh, who slung it over his shoulder.

“So, when should I bring them back?” Josh asked. I thought for a moment.

“Would Sunday work?” I asked him, and he looked taken back. “What?”

“I thought you were going to say tomorrow night or something.” Josh admitted.

“Well, if that works for you...”

“No, no, Sunday is fine!” Josh smiled and I smiled back at him. We brought the twins outside and Josh loaded the kids into the car and said goodbye. I stood in the driveway and watched Josh drive away from the house. I sighed and went back inside. Zack was standing at the door and he closed it behind me.

“That was a lot harder then I expected.” I said.

“You two looked like you were getting along.” Zack said.

“We were. It was just...weird.” I replied, and Zack put an arm around my shoulders.

“Come on, I'll make some dinner and we'll go see a movie.”

Zack and I went to see some action movie that wasn't very good, but then again, I wasn't a huge fan of action movies. When we were driving back, Zack needed to fill up his car so we stopped at a 7-11. He filled up the car and then moved it so other people could use the pump, and then he went inside to get some snacks. I opted to stay in the car. I was humming a little tune to myself when I spotted something out of the corner of my eye.

I saw a larger set man walk towards the car. I started to feel scared when I saw that he was carrying something in his hand. When he got closer I saw it was a bat. I leaned over in the seat and hit the lock button on Zack's side of the car. Just as I straightened up, there was a loud bang on the car window. “Open the door.” the man growled at me. I started to climb over the seat to get out on Zack's side, but there was the sound of shattering glass. I heard the door open and and my ankles were taken hold of. I was drug out of the car and landed on the cold, hard pavement, being pulled up by an arm.

“Let go of me!” I yelled, trying to jerk my arm away from him. He wouldn't let go, and then a knife was pressed up against my neck.

“Make one more sound and I'll cut this pretty little throat of yours.” the man snapped at me. I gulped and nodded. He pushed me towards a dark alley way, dropping the bat on the ground. He pushed me against a cement wall of a building, causing me to smack the back of my head. He kept one hand on my throat while the other fumbled with my belt buckle. I somehow managed to bite down on his hand, and he screamed in pain, letting me go. I tried to run, but I had barely made it five steps before he caught me by an arm, throwing me down onto the pavement. He stomped on my right hand and I could feel every bone break; the sickening crunch echoed off the walls. I screamed and he got on top of me, pressing his hand against my mouth, muffling any sound I made. “That wasn't very nice of you, now was it?” He took the knife out again and pressed it against my skin. Hot tears started to run down my face, “Are you going to behave now?” I sobbed and nodded. “Good, because I would hate to destroy this pretty face of yours.” He traced the tip of the knife along my left cheek, and I could feel it cut through my skin. He started to fumble with my belt buckle again, and finally managed to get it undone. He slowly started to pull down my jeans.

“Josline? Josline, where are you?” I heard Zack call out. The man looked at me and he had a “what are you going to do?” look on his face. “Josline, this isn't funny. Where are you?” I started to scream, albeit muffled. I received a hard punch to the face. I started to scream again when the knife was driven into my left thigh.

The man stopped when the sound of the bat being picked up was made. He looked around slightly, and the bat was swung. There was a sickening smack, like what you would hear in the movies when someone got hit, and the man fell off of me. I scrambled to the side and looked up through teary eyes. Zack was there, and he looked pissed. “Who the fuck do you think you are?” The man demanded once he stood up.

“I'm Zack fucking Angelo.” Zack yelled, swinging the bat at him again, connecting with his right side. “Who the fuck are you?” I had never heard Zack so furious before. “I suggest you get the fuck out of here and leave my friend alone, because I will have no problem smearing your brains all over this pavement.” Zack growled.

The man looked somewhat frightened. Zack was a small, but intimidating guy. “Okay, okay. Calm down. I'll leave her alone.” the man started to walk away, but he swiftly kicked me in the stomach, and I felt something crack.

Zack took the bat to the man once again, hitting him square in the back. The man fell to the ground, but got back up quickly. “What the fuck did I just tell you?” Zack yelled. “Get out of here!” The man took the knife out again, but Zack didn't back down. “Do you really think that's a smart move on your part?” Zack tightened his grip on the bat, and he was honestly the most frightening thing in the world at the moment. Paranormal Activity had nothing on him. Zack and the man were at a stand still for a moment before Zack moved forwards. The man turned around and ran. Zack stood for a moment, breathed deeply, and then dropped the bat. He turned to me and dropped to his knees; I was clutching my stomach with my left hand. “Josline, are you okay?”

“It...it hurts.” I gasped. Zack's face was now showing fear. “I can't...I can't breathe.”

“It's okay Josline. You'll be okay.” Zack placed a hand on the side of my face. His hands were cool and it helped easy the sting a little. I started to sob again, but they came out in pathetic gasps due to the pain I was feeling. Zack looked utterly desperate. “Someone, please help!”